Woman Charges £400 an Hour to Teach Step-Parenting | This Morning

we've got a very very interesting guest coming up next we all our guests are interesting but yeah yeah sure her name is Alison tasks she's an author she's a life coach she's from New Jersey and Alison makes up to 400 quid an hour or whatever that is dollars by giving other people advice and hi to be a successful step and she's got up very very early for us it's the early hours of this morning in New York good morning to you Alison good morning rooster Damon good morning Alison very interested in this being a stepparent myself when did you become a stepparent and how did you find that experience I became a stepmom when I turned 39 when I turned 39 I was married to my husband and my stepdaughter at the time was 10 and it was it was interesting to me because my stepdaughter and I had a beautiful relationship my husband was her primary parent so she was really with him six days a week so we spent a lot of time together we were really close but the challenges came from outside sources beyond me and her that I hadn't anticipated nor did I relieve believe realize how rough it was until I had my own children years later and I was like wow babies ain't got nothing on this step parenting and then you decided because of all your experiences to become a life coach and help other people what would you say being a step preparing yourself nor the experience you've had of talking to other people particularly its predominantly women I know from reading about you what is the predominant problem that most people experience with stepparent I'll tell you I'll tell you what it is and see what you think about that it's that word when you go back to fairytales and whatever and it's never the stepmother it's the wicked the wicked stepmother do you think that tag ever sub lemon know is there it's attached amen you got that on the money that's exactly the issue there's this archetype of this you know horrible woman that's come in and and ruined the very blissful family of origin and now she's going to be raising this child this doesn't sound like a good idea so so you're fighting against that archetype no matter how irrelevant it is to your actual experience so what we mentioned there in our link when we're talking about you you charge about four hundred pounds an hour at with the equivalences and dollars what are people getting what are you doing with them and for them in that when they're spending that kind of money yeah it sounds really awful when said in the hourly rate when I work with someone I work with you in a in a program for a series of months two months three months six months so we work together yes we have sessions like a therapist and that's where the hourly rate comes from but in actual fact we're partnering for the whole program so in the beginning of the program we set a goal like I want to be myself again I don't feel like myself I'm drowning in this stepparent role I want to I want to remember who I was or I want to work more collaboratively with my husband he's not feeling good about this and he's maybe putting his head under a pillow and I'm sort of managing this stuff I want to be working in better collaboration with him so we have a really specific goal and then I'm working with you all the time I'm getting tons of emails hey would you check out this letter I want to send to the lawyer does this sound right etc etc so it's really a partnership for a number of months not just sorting it out whenever you speak to people who are stepparents may it male or female and you know many they are that's two-thirds of families in the UK have stepchildren and they often say when it comes to discipline this seems to be a big problem where you go they're not my children therefore should I be allowed to discipline them or the children will say you're not my mom you're not my dad you can't tell me what to do is that's a common theme that you experience with your customers clients it is and it's really important to know that the child is still looking to their biological parent right and you have a special role it could be a friendship apart it can be all kinds of good things if we take away the wicked moniker like Amos said but you and your partner are still responsible for aligning on discipline so it's a lot more family meetings conversations helping the child make good choices the discipline the heavy-handed discipline should absolutely be handled by the parent or collaboratively my husband travels a lot so when he goes away it's like I'm I'll always say I'm the parent in charge on the parent in charge so I'm gonna be making the choices that well it is there are a lot of choices to make there's been no rulebook on all of this until you have come along really Allison Allison's book is called personal evolution and it is available in shops nice so thank you very much indeed and good luck for for getting the conversation going Allison thank you so much thank you very much you

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