Why kids need to learn about gender and sexuality | Lindsay Amer


Alright, let’s get this kicked off. (Music) (Singing) It’s OK to be gay. We are different in many ways. Doesn’t matter if you’re a boy,
girl or somewhere in between, we all are part of one big family. Gay means “happy.” Queer Kid Stuff. You are enough here at Queer Kid Stuff. (Applause) Opening a performance with lyrics
like “It’s OK to be gay” for a roomful of adults is one thing, but it’s entirely different
for a roomful of kindergartners. What you’ve just heard is the theme song
for my web series “Queer Kid Stuff,” where I make LGBTQ+
and social justice videos for all ages. And when I say all ages,
I mean literal babies to your great-great-grandma. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Whoa, they’re talking
about gay stuff with kids.” But talking to kids about gay stuff
is actually crucial. The American Academy
of Pediatrics has found that children have a solid understanding
of their gender identity by the age of four. This is when children
are developing their sense of self. They’re observing the world around them, absorbing that information and internalizing it. Now, most parents want their children
to become kind, empathetic, self-confident adults, and exposure to diversity
is an important part of that social and emotional development. And — gender nonconforming kids and trans kids and kids with trans
and nonbinary and queer parents are everywhere. In the series, my stuffed bear cohost
and I talk about the LGBT community, activism, gender and pronouns, consent and body positivity. We tackle these topics through songs, not unlike the one you just heard, simple definitions and metaphors. We approach these ideas, to steal a phrase
from an old professor of mine, from “under the doorknob” — getting down to toddler height and looking up at the great big world
through their tiny little eyes, taking these seemingly complex ideas
and simplifying them — not dumbing them down, but homing in on the core concept. Gender is about how we feel
and how we express ourselves. Sexuality is about love
and gender and family, not about sex. And these are all ideas
children can grasp. In one of my earliest
episodes about gender, I used the idea of pronouns to underscore the definition
and introduce gender-neutral pronouns like “they” and “them.” I encourage children to think
about their own pronouns and to ask others for theirs. In later episodes,
I build on this foundation and introduce big fancy words
like “nonbinary” and “transgender.” I get emails from viewers in their 20s who use my videos to explain
nonbinary gender to their grandparents. But, I get one comment
over and over again: “Let kids be kids.” Well, that’s a nice sentiment and all, but only if it actually includes all kids. Just a few weeks ago, a 15-year-old in Huntsville, Alabama died by suicide after being
bullied for being gay. In 2018, it was a seven-year-old in Denver, Colorado. There have been and will be many more. Lesbian, gay and bisexual teens are more than three times
more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers, and transgender teens
are almost six times more likely. According to one study,
roughly one third of homeless youth identify as lesbian, gay,
bisexual or questioning, and about four percent of homeless youth
identify as transgender, compared with one percent
of the general youth population surveyed. According to the Human Rights Campaign, there have been 128 killings
of trans people in 87 cities across 32 states since 2013. And those are the only the reported cases. And 80 percent of those killings
were of trans women of color. The queer situation is bleak, to say the least. The YouTube comments on my videos are not much better. I’m used to the harassment. I get messages daily
telling me I’m a pedophile and that I should kill myself
in a number of increasingly creative ways. I once had to put the word “truck”
on my block list because someone wanted me
to get run over by a truck. “Shower” and “oven” are in there, too, for the less creative and more disturbing
Holocaust reference. When neo-Nazis marched in Charlottesville, I was unsurprised to learn that the creator of a violent Reddit meme
about one of my episodes was in the tiki torch crowd. This barrage of negativity
is what we’re up against: the crushing statistics, the violence,
the mental health risks, the well-meaning but flawed response
my parents gave me when I came out, that they didn’t want me
to have a harder life. That’s what we’re up against. But in the face of all that, I choose joy. I choose rainbows
and unicorns and glitter, and I sing that it’s OK to be gay
with my childhood stuffed teddy bear. I make queer media for kids because I wish I had this
when I was their age. I make it so others don’t have
to struggle through what I did, not understanding my identity because I didn’t have any exposure
to who I could be. I teach and spread this message
through joy and positivity instead of framing it around
the hardships of queer life. I want kids to grow up and into themselves with pride for who they are
and who they can be, no matter who they love or what they wear
or what pronouns they use. And I want them to love others
for their differences, not in spite of them. I think fostering this pride and empathy will make the world a kinder
and more equal place and combat the bigotry and hate
that festers in our world. So, talk to a kid about gender. Talk to a kid about sexuality. Teach them about consent. Tell them it is OK
for boys to wear dresses and for girls to speak up. Let’s spread radical queer joy. Thank you. (Applause)

100 thoughts on “Why kids need to learn about gender and sexuality | Lindsay Amer”

  1. Most parents want their kids to continue their lineage… so no thank you on making them watch your YouTube channel.

  2. "Let's spread radical queer joy!" Wow this is how far the leftist hypocritical media has went. This is child abuse. Where is the old ted talking about real world problems, giving advice, and discussing philosophical ideas. It's now this, a childish child abuser talking about sexuality like it's a Disney musical!! Let kids have fun and play around! They don't have to be brainwashed by you libtard beliefs. Let them discover what their beliefs are. Let them be "themselves" right?? Hypocrisy

  3. catn dislike this enough. This Lindsey fella needs to be the posterchild for how NOT to treat your kids regarding sexuality/gender issues

  4. Ugly lesbian talks to children on how they can be gay/lesbian = kids that have been abused by their teacher. The world has lost the plot. Please re-open the mental asylums, we'll next a few extra as I think they will get pretty full.

  5. "It's OK to be gay"

    No, it's not OK to be gay.

    It's a disorder. People who have such a disorder need help, not stupid songs.

    She spoke of teen suicides with queers. Yes, people who are queer or suffer from gender dysphoria have alarmingly high suicide rates because they have a serious psychological disorder.

    A male who is attracted to men, or a male who wants to be a woman are sufferers of serious mental illness.

    It's sad that if a man thinks he is a dog or a robot or an alien or Napoleon, we recognize he needs mental health treatment. But if a man thinks he's a woman, or an 8 year old girl, we should encourage it.
    How sick our society has become!

    The true "haters" out there are the sick leftists who say we should show pride and acceptance towards people suffering with these psychosexual and body dysmormphic disorders.

    The truly compassionate ones in society are those who say "No, it's not OK to be gay; you're sick in the head and need help."

    PS. This post has nothing to do with intersex issues. That's a completely different topic.

  6. WTF? Gay doesn't mean mentally insane. This person needs to be locked in a mental institution for her own, and society's, protection.

  7. Not so many reports of crimes against homsexuals in America? And no one is taking action?
    If you want real action, begin to document crimes against gays in Islamic countries!

  8. No, I dont want this for my kids. When they get older they can make own choices. This is LGBTQ propaganda.This is the same as teaching kids gays are evil.

  9. No. Teach respect. It’s that simple. Teach them about kids with two dads or two moms. Why is it so hard for Lindsey to grasp that. Maybe if there’s this much backlash you should question what you’re putting out there

  10. Sam Harris… Neil de Grasse Tyson…. so many brilliant people have been on that TED stage.

    Then… you have this…

  11. She gets daily comment's because kid's don't need to learn about ANY of this nonsense. ..it's indoctrination. .a kid being told and taught grown up things like gender identity and being Trans is WRONG!!!.. kid's don't need to learn about this nonsense. ..they are kids not your science project ffs

  12. Almost unsubscribed.. if not for a track record of intellectualism from previous TED Talks.
    This is sad. If she is genuine in her belief about exposing children to sexually implicit ideology (straight or gay) then she is greatly confused. She projects the importance of her own gender to herself with the importance of ones own gender to themselves. She may have had problems with her sexuality growing up… so this is important to her. What she doesn't realize is that to most kids it is not. Kids just have fun and play without critical thoughts. Then around 12 they start to have "feelings" and then can begin to develop those feelings however is best for them. Most just develop according to social norms. And for those who don't that is perfectly ok if they do what they need to to feel accepted. BUT>>>to be grooming thought from age 4 is absurd. Her view is incredibly dangerous to the long term mental development of the sexual identity of the child. What is terrible is this is actually the best scenario. The worst being she is a closet pedophile hoping to help redefine sexual norms for kids. Either way she's confused by her bias about the implications such grooming could have on a child….. or she's perverted.

  13. LET ALL KIDS BE KIDS. Maybe if you stop encouraging them to “explore” their sexuality as children, they will grow up and realize they were just “questioning” as a phase.

  14. this woman should never be allowed around children, why is this being pushed on our kids, its like they are trying to destroy the family, from the jump. Shame on TED talks for allowing this bullshit, whats next pedophelia is a sexual preference?

  15. Let kids be kids, unless they are straight kids, then don’t let them be kids at all. Force lgbt agenda on them as soon as possible so no kid can actually be a kid. 🤔 Gotcha. Back in the day being forced to learn a certain ideology was related to Nazis, but LGBT doing it is completely NON-FACIST, LOL 😂 ok 👍🏼

  16. Let me fill in the blank the LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ community are all pedophiles. #allgaysarepedophiles -change my mind 🙂

  17. The fact that this person has disabled comments on every video they post on their YouTube channel. And disabled the dislikes. Should tell you everything you need to know. They don’t want dialogue they want kids to be indoctrinated into a cult like community. This is the same community who think having a convicted pedophile read books to kids is okay.

  18. Lindsey: I get one comment over and over and over again, let kids be kids

    Me: no you don't. ALL OF Your VIDEOS HVAE THE COMMENTS DISABLED

  19. There is absolutely no reason a kid can’t learn how to be kind and accepting while also not forcing them to learn about every sexual lifestyle on the planet. The LGBT community needs to stop bringing children into their ideology. They won’t be any less accepting because of it.

  20. This ho is predatory toward kids, and of course YT (and now Ted talks) keep suckling at her shrine.
    Plz report this or sumthin.

  21. There teaching this in schools, when it becomes law like some country's parents wont have any say,this world as gone mad,now they are targeting little children,it is child abuse,parents will have no say in what there child is being told and shown in the class room,and the sick thing about it is schools are allowing it,it will be soul destroying for any child to have this lie to be placed on them,[you can be anything you want] so to speak.it is all being set,they are being silent about it until it becomes law,WAKE UP PARENTS,check out what i am saying.

  22. I never thought this brand could sink any lower after being trolled by Sam Hyde. Turns out his joke talk is less embarrassing than this.
    Zero quality control. TED brand is a joke in itself.
    I remember when the ones giving talks where Pinker and Harris, now you have this thing.

  23. This violates YT policy. So does queer kid stuff's channel. They wont do anything, but couldn't hurt to mass report this.

  24. Just in case you though Ted Talks were still reputable, here's your sign.

    Keep this walking ball of gender confusion AWAY from children. This is how you impart mental health problems onto a kid. Kids need structure and absolutes, especially in developmental years.

  25. "Children have a solid idea of their gender identity by the age of 4"

    So let's confuse the crap out of them at age 4 so they have no idea and spend the next 20 years figuring it out! 😂😂😂😂

  26. The big lie is that she is tolerant and open to ALL people. She has an episode where they read the activist alphabet book. Geeze. She is hostile to anyone who believe there are two genders. She hostile to someone who believes acting on homosexuality is a sin. She's hostile to the free market and capitalism. She won't let you believe what you want to believe. You must believe what she believes.

  27. So YouTube blocks and limits the spread of the conservative voice on their site yet lets this BULLSHIT run free reign. She should be blocked and removed. Too many parents agree. You just guaranteed Trump's reelection.

  28. Child indoctrination is is always spoken of with such pride by the indoctrinator but is repulsive to those looking in

  29. Ok i kinda get what you mean. Yes trans gay and others have higher suicide rates. But its not do to bullying. I domt believe being gay is a mental illness but a think trans is. I think instead of trying to force it on to kids at a young age only confuses them. Because kids from that young of age to 12 follow people who influence them or what they see. Yeah it sucks with murder and bullying. But 128 trans people is nothing compared to how many straight cis people get murdered or even bullied i think.

  30. QKS is a channel that indoctrinates children, why has this channel not been flagged and taken down… BRING BACK SOPH!!!!!!!

  31. Childless degenerates have no business telling people how to educate their children.
    What's next TED Talks? Educating the world on how liberating pedophilia is?
    TRASH

  32. 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
    HIDE YOUR KIDS!!!!😟😟😟😟😟

  33. The reason why she says its different for Kidnergardners is because they're easier to brainwash and indoctrinate

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