TSP's If Directors Were Teachers



So guys and girls, how are ya’ll? So well, today I’m going
to teach only practicals. Theory would be sorted automatically. Aye Kashyap! Concentrate or I
will explode you with dynamite. So imagine, in a parking lot in Goa,
Bolero and Scorpio ram into each other… Which car do you think will fly away? It’s a trick question, Sir. Not only the parking lot’s, but all
the cars in Goa will fly in the air! Don’t do that idiots,
my ass will tear away! K Class, the clock is
ticking for the attendance. Alia – Present Ma’am Amina – Present Ma’am This will be very uncanny. Looks like I will have to figure this out. Kalia- Present Ma’am Kamina- Present Ma’am Kulta…who gave you this name- Ulta? Ma’am you didn’t change my name at all. Who will answer this question?
Raise your hands. Sir, I will answer this.
– Aye, put your hands down! I will Sir.. He raised a finger extra…Rohit, you tell us Yes..I think you got it. Oh, the bell rang, let’s do this tomorrow. Who will answer this question?
Raise your hand? Sir, I will Sir, will give a
brilliant answer, please! Please sir, please sir? Oh, so he raised a finger
extra…so Krishh, you tell us? Come Come, Yes!
Ok, right, close The bell rang again. Tomorrow, okay? Who will answer this question?
Raise your hand? Sir, I will. Please sir, I’ll
give a brilliant answer! Please sir, please sir, one
chance sir, please sir!! This smart guy, has raised a finger extra.
Kaabil, you tell us. You blindass, the class is this side! Sir, why do you always
give him all the chances? Class over. The bell didn’t ring today?
Rajesh..I will kill you! Man, this is a very difficult paper. Do you
know the answer for- why is the sky blue? I am stuck on that very question, dude.
Why is the water wet? Why is the earth round? Aakash, Sid, Sameer..please stand up. Come on, get up! I have seen you guys cheat. Raise your hands now…. C'mon! and now, sing with me! Na na na na na na – na na na na na Come on everyone, sing with me! *students sing in chorus* It is very bad to cheat— *chorus* I always skip my beats— *chorus* Sometimes I laugh at myself,
and sometimes it’s Zoya. He’s smart, he’s handsome, he’s dashing And if you don’t think so..well,
it’s pure conjecture. He’s been around in this education
industry for a long long time now. He is a quintessential
presence in your school lives He is none other than, your teacher
– Mr. Namkaran Johar. Excuse me? Where do you think you’re going? Sir, lunch break.
– Oh come on! Stop being so naughty. You know that I give breaks only to
Bhatts, Dhawans and Malhotras. Just sit here and struggle. Sir, we have been struggling since so long.
Give us one break and you’ll see! Nawaz, you seem to show extreme potential.
Don’t worry, Kashyap sir will give you one. B for ****** G for ***** F for ***** Nope, it’s Phantom! I remind you before
every class and ya’ll keep forgetting. Again F for?
– Phantom! Very good. And yes, tomorrow I will be
taking your biology practicals. We will drug a frog there, and after
he is done wrenching in pain, We will tear away it’s gut until the
lab is full of it’s blood splatters. In short- ***** So, everybody excited? In the Kendriya Vidyalaya sector 4, Everybody’s favourite,
here, there everywhere, Master of the masters, headmaster-
Sanjay Leela Bhak-Saali, gives his sheer presence… What on earth is this? I asked you to draw a village scenery… Which village has a river, hut and a cow? How will the village get light?
Where is the chandelier?! You know…art should be
aesthetic…artistic…naturalistic… You won’t be able to do it.
You go sit. Deepika will make it. Deepika? Where is Deepika? Sirji, the security guys took her.

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