Trump Cancels Taliban, Slams Legend & Teigen


I’VE GOT TO TELL YOU, I HOPE EVERYONE WAS ABLE TO RELAX THIS WEEKEND BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT HAD A VERY BUSY COUPLE OF DAYS TWEETING. THAT GUY DOES NOTHING BUT WORK. IT REALLY IS REMARKABLE. MOST NOTABLY HE TWEETED ABOUT A MEETING, A VERY HIGH-PROFILE SECRET MEETING THAT ULTIMATELY DID NOT TAKE PLACE. ON SATURDAY HE WROTE, “UNBEKNOWNST TO ALMOST EVERYONE, THE MAJOR TALIBAN LEADERS AND SEPARATELY THE PRESIDENT OF AFGHANISTAN WERE GOING TO SECRETLY MEET WITH ME AT CAMP DAVID ON SUNDAY.” ONLY TRUMP WOULD BRAG ABOUT A MEETING HE DIDN’T HAVE. [ LAUGHTER ] ANYWAY. THEY WERE COMING TO THE UNITED STATES TONIGHT. UNFORTUNATELY, IN ORDER TO BUILD FALSE LEVERAGE THEY ADMITTED TO AN ATTACK IN KABUL THAT KILLED ONE OF OUR GREAT, GREAT SOLDIERS AND 11 OTHER PEOPLE. I IMMEDIATELY CANCELED THE MEETING AND CALLED OFF PEACE NEGOTIATIONS. “WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE WOULD KILL SO MANY IN ORDER TO SEEMINGLY STRENGTHEN THEIR BARGAINING POSITION?” MM. THE TALIBAN MAYBE? [ LAUGHTER ] I DON’T KNOW. YOU KNOW, THE PEOPLE YOU INVITED TO CAMP DAVID. DONALD TRUMP INVITED THE TALIBAN TO CAMP DAVID! THREE DAYS BEFORE 9/11. NEXT MONTH HE’S TAKING AL QAEDA TO SIX FLAGS. DID YOU KNOW THAT? [ LAUGHTER ] CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THAT MEETING HAD HAPPENED AND IT HAD GONE — LIKE IF SOMEONE IN THEIR GROUP COMPLIMENTED HIM? WE’D HAVE VIDEO RIGHT NOW OF THE PRESIDENT SAYING “I LOVE THE TALIBAN. THEY’RE GREAT GUYS.” [ LAUGHTER ] OF COURSE THIS IS ESPECIALLY FASCINATING BECAUSE BACK IN 2012 TRUMP TWEETED THIS — “WHILE BARACK OBAMA IS SLASHING THE MILITARY HE’S ALSO NEGOTIATING WITH OUR SWORN ENEMY THE TALIBAN, WHO FACILITATED 9/11.” THAT WAS WRITTEN BY THE MAN WHO NOT ONLY DID HE INVITE THE TALIBAN OVER FOR A SLEEPOVER LAST WEEK HE SLASHED $3.6 BILLION FROM THE MILITARY TO BUILD HIS WALL. EVERYTHING HE DOES YOU CAN FIND A TWEET WHERE HE SAYS THE OPPOSITE. IT’S LIKE HE WENT BACK IN TIME TO SCREW WITH HIMSELF. [ LAUGHTER ] HE REALLY MIGHT BE BIFF FROM “BACK TO THE FUTURE.” THERE ARE A NUMBER OF REPORTS TODAY THAT SAID MANY OF TRUMP’S OWN NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISERS, INCLUDING THE VICE PRESIDENT, ADVISED HIM NOT TO MEET WITH THE TALIBAN AT CAMP DAVID. AND THAT TRUMP OVERRULED THEM. BUT THAT OF COURSE MADE THE PRESIDENT ANGRY. HE WAS OUTRAGED THAT THE MEDIA WOULD DARE SUGGEST HE OVERRULED HIS NATIONAL SECURITY TEAM. AND HE UNDERLINED THAT BY SAYING HE DIDN’T OVERRULE HIS NATIONAL SECURITY TEAM BECAUSE HE DIDN’T EVEN BOTHER TO CONSULT THEM. [ LAUGHTER ]>>NO, ACTUALLY, IN TERMS OF ADVISERS, I TOOK MY OWN ADVICE. I LIKED THE IDEA OF MEETING. I’VE MET WITH A LOT OF BAD PEOPLE AND A LOT OF GOOD PEOPLE. IT WAS MY IDEA, AND IT WAS MY IDEA TO TERMINATE IT. I DIDN’T EVEN — I DIDN’T DISCUSS IT WITH ANYBODY ELSE.>>Jimmy: WELL, THAT’S JUST GREAT. [ LAUGHTER ] WHY BOTHER TO DISCUSS IT WITH ANYBODY ELSE WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT’S BEST? THE WHITE HOUSE IS RUNNING LIKE A WELL-TURMOILED MACHINE RIGHT NOW. [ LAUGHTER ] FOR ONCE, THE REPUBLICAN ESTABLISHMENT IS NOT BEHIND OUR DANGEROUSLY DIM-WITTED PRESIDENT. BEHIND CLOSED DOORS PEOPLE LIKE LINDSEY GRAHAM WERE SAID TO BE MORTIFIED BY THIS PLAN. BUT THE ONLY ONE WHO ACTUALLY SPOKE OUT PUBLICLY WAS THE 212-YEAR-OLD HOST OF “THE 700 CLUB.”>>YOU KNOW, YOU ASK ABOUT OUR PRESIDENT. WHY DOES HE THINK HE CAN SIT DOWN WITH THESE PEOPLE? THEY HAVE DENIED WOMEN EDUCATION. THEY USED TO HAVE THEIR THOUGHT POLICE GOING THROUGH THE CITIES TO WHIP WOMEN WHOSE CLOTHING THEY DISAGREED WITH. THEY’RE TERRIBLE PEOPLE. AND THE PRESIDENT THINKS HE’S SO CHARMING HE CAN SIT DOWN WITH THE DEVIL AND CHANGE THE DEVIL. THE DEVIL’S NOT GOING TO CHANGE. THOSE PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE. AND TO THINK WE CAN SIT DOWN AND MAKE A DEAL WITH THEM IS JUST ABSURD.>>Jimmy: WELL SAID, POTATO IN A TURTLENECK. [ LAUGHTER ] SO INSTEAD OF MEETING WITH THE TALIBAN YESTERDAY TRUMP SPENT THE DAY LASHING OUT AT JOHN LEGEND AND CHRISSY TEIGEN. FOR REAL. APPARENTLY HE WAS WATCHING A TOWN HALL EVENT ON MSNBC LAST NIGHT. PROBABLY WAITING TO HEAR HIS NAME MENTIONED. HE WAS UPSET THAT JOHN LEGEND DIDN’T GIVE HIM A SHOUT OUT FOR THE BIPARTISAN CRIMINAL JUSTICE REFORM BILL THAT HE SIGNED. SEW GOT OUT HIS THUMBS AND HE WROTE “GUYS LIKE BORING MUSICIAN JOHN LEGEND AND HIS FILTHY-MOUTHED WIFE,” WHO WASN’T EVEN THERE, BY THE WAY, “ARE TALKING ABOUT HOW GREAT IT IS BUT I DIDN’T SEE THEM AROUND WHEN WE NEEDED HELP GETTING IT PASSED.” HIS FILTHY MOUTH — WE CAN’T HAVE ALL THESE FILTHY-MOUTHED WOMEN AROUND. THE TALIBAN IS COMING OVER, GUYS. [ LAUGHTER ] TRUMP HATES WOMEN WHO TALK DIRTY. UNLESS THEY’RE SPANKING HIM WITH A “FORBES” MAGAZINE WHILE THEY’RE DOING IT. [ LAUGHTER ] SO CHRISSY TEIGEN RESPONDED TO THIS. [ APPLAUSE ] SHE WRORKSTE, “LOL. WHAT A [ BLEEP ] ASS [ BLEEP ]. .” SHE GOT 5,000 LIKES, ALMOST TEN TIMES AS MANY LIKES AS HE GOT FOR HIS TWEET ABOUT HER. WHICH I THINK MEANS SHE’S OUR NEW PRESIDENT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THAT WASN’T EVEN THE WEIRDEST THING TRUMP TWEETED OVER THE WEEKEND. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE STORY ABOUT THE HURRICANE SHARPIE MAP HAD FINALLY DIED THE PRESIDENT GAVE IT NINE MORE LIVES. AND THIS ALSO HAPPENS TO BE TO MY KNOWLEDGE THE FIRST TIME AN AMERICAN PRESIDENT HAS TWEETED A CAT VIDEO. ♪ WHAT IS THAT EVEN SUPPOSED TO MEAN? IS THE CAT THE DEMOCRATS? ARE WE THE CAT AND THE LASER IS HIS POWERFUL BRAIN BEAM? I REALLY NEED MORE INFORMATION. AND BY THE WAY, THAT VIDEO ISN’T EVEN REALISTIC. THERE’S NO WAY TRUMP COULD BE THAT CLOSE TO A PUSSY AND NOT GRAB IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] OH, SPEAKING OF THAT, DONALD TRUMP’S OLD PAL FROM THE “ACCESS HOLLYWOOD” BUS IS BACK. BILLY BUSH IS THE NEW HOST OF “EXTRA.” AND TO PROMOTE IT THIS MORNING HE SAT DOWN WITH GAYLE KING. AND YOU HAVE TO HAND IT TO GAYLE KING, SHE REALLY GETS PEOPLE TO OPEN UP.>>LET’S GO BACK TO 2005, ABOUT WHO YOU WERE IN 2005 AND WHO HE WAS IN 2005.>>I HOG TIED HER?>>Jimmy: WAIT A MINUTE. I THINK WE MAY HAVE THE GAYLE KING INTERVIEWS MIXED UP. [ LAUGHTER ] BILLY BUSH IS BACK. THE PRESIDENT HEADLINED YET ANOTHER RALLY IN FAYETTEVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA TONIGHT AND HE HAD HIS SON DON JR., DJTJ, WARM THE CROWD UP. AND BOY, NOT ONLY DID HE WARM THEM UP HE INTRODUCED A BRAND NEW WAY OF ENDING EVERY SENTENCE.>>THE DEMOCRAT PARTY DOESN’T EXIST BECAUSE IT’S RUN BY A BUNCH OF LEFTISTS. UH? THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENED. ALL RIGHT? JOHN F. KENNEDY WOULD BE ALT RIGHT. ALL RIGHT? I WANT TO KEEP WINNING. ALL RIGHT? WE SAINT SEEN A LOT OF THAT THESE DAYS. ALL RIGHT? WE’VE GOT A LOT TO FIGURE OUT. ALL RIGHT? IT’S ON THE RECORD. ALL RIGHT? WE NEED YOU TO BE MOTIVATED. ALL RIGHT? WE CAN’T DO IT WITHOUT YOU. ALL RIGHT? I WILL NOW BE GETTING ME TOOED THIS EVENING. ALL RIGHT? THINK ABOUT IT.

100 thoughts on “Trump Cancels Taliban, Slams Legend & Teigen”

  1. Tonight, on the anniversary of 9/11 … it enrages me to think Donald Trump secretly invited the TALIBAN to meet at Camp David — how dare he.

  2. Hey, after Pat Robertson, alone of almost all the Republicans, calls out the president for "sitting down with the devil" — don't make fun of him, dude! Make fun of Trump all you want, but hands off Pat Robertson..

  3. Alright everybody gather 'round
    The Taliban Man is here
    What kind of candy do you want
    Sweet chocolate
    Chocolate malted candy
    Gum drops
    Anything you want
    You've come to the right man
    'Cause I'm the Taliban Man

  4. On one hand, I wish idiots like Kimmel would get their wish so that when they're behind the fence of a concentration camp with their eyes bulging out in disbelief, they would finally understand why real Americans vote for Trump instead of Killary.

  5. Who still fight to gain leverage ???? Taliban !!! No this practise was started by the USA and only when the tables have turned this policy is now somehow wrong.
    Jimmy your comments about Taliban are insensitive, ill informed and outright deplorable.

  6. What a garbage! the US will never gets such an active person again as Trump,

    if you are not satisfied with take back Obama, obviously just close/mind works!

  7. Please send some Talibans to the Dotard and make sure that they are fully armoured, once they chopped up the orange, short fingered kitty grabber they will get the Nobel peace price.

  8. Somebody please hold that punk down, dry shave him, and keep saying "argt" while doing it. A couple of six-year-old girls should be strong enough.

  9. It’s a lie. Central intelligence would of caught them. This guy blows his own whistle. It’s all for voting attention with his base.

  10. Ok, I really didn't get this – why did he even mention Teigen, when she wasn't at that town hall meeting in prison, nor was she mentioned by anyone there, nor did she have anythung to do with it in any way – so why pick on her, and insult her? Was he trying to think of the meanest thing that would hurt Legend, so he just gave a random sidekick to his wife, or what? Why pick on her?

  11. Horrible taste from jimmie making jokes about this. Many soldiers die for his freedom and he is taking the piss . Show some dignity

  12. Donald Trump & Kanye West 2020. They actually get things done. To hell with these big mouth, sellout boule bastards who want to take credit after the work is done. Justice Reform, Urban Renewal, Welfare to work, marriage and self determination. Trump is liberating black folk just like he liberated A$AP Rocky. Biden wants the backwards fools in chains ( dude crafted the Clinton crime bill ).

  13. No comments allowed on live debate. These DimLibs have absolutely nothing to say other than attack Trump. It's just sad. 370 million people in this country and this is the best the dims can come up with? smh

  14. Jimmy just keeps dancing for his masters . Good minions stay bought and paid for …..good Jimmy…….let me get you money for your soul ……..

  15. We should slam Trump's mother for giving birth to him. But she's dead; so, we can slam him for being an anti-America jerk and considering the Taliban terrorists should come to Camp David for a little chat during the week of 9/11.

  16. Attention,
    Primitive Prokaryotes: none of this rubbish means anything. Fukushima
    has fooked the world. Once that 4th reactor blows, it will
    have the force of 85 Chernobyls. Humanity will join the ranks of
    extinct species. Any species that builds 40 nuke reactors adjacent to
    oceans is BEGGING for extinction. The 2020 Olympics will be some
    obscene, Illuminati hari-kari ritual. Humanity in its final stages
    will be isolated pockets of people watching each other die of
    leukemia. Fear-mongering? You wish. If you believe in God, now's the
    time to pray. If you don't believe in God, pray anyway.

  17. you cry for god and prayers when your sons health was in trouble,  …..and now  you make fun of a  holy man ,  it was those prayers that kept your son alive….you ungrateful jack ass..

  18. Great you didn’t just let a sociopath to the White House but a president who is more concerned about jonh legends and his wife than his country

  19. trump is good for nothing but slamming people. US citizens whom he WORKS FOR. He's an immature little boy who never grew up or had to account for anything but lying to hide the illegitimate and FAKE life he lives.

  20. Sadly… Thanks to the fact the media happens to be a business which forces journalists, who know better, to cover Trump's distraction ploys… that cat gif ain't too far off the mark.

  21. What were you doing at the time Trump was trying to achieve something. Mate, your like a kid stomping their feet, you don’t have to like him but he is your president. Your on the same team why make his job harder. Sore loser. Sellout in a suit (with a face lift).

  22. Just try to picture the moment when the Talibans walking thru TSA😂 and remember our life and all the people from all over the world were forever changed because of these terrorists! But the PAB president you clowns elected was going to have “peace talk” with them?! What happens to our policy “ WE DON’T negotiate with the terrorists!”

  23. That Hans Gruber wannabe reminds me of Bill O'Reilly saying "alright?" after basically every sentence in the Gooback episode of South Park xD

    about 10:41 into the S08E07

  24. I know that nobody will read this but For the one percent who reading this, If just a single person reads this it will make my day! <3 Have a great life and good luck in the future <3 I know fame doesn't happen over night but I am trying my hardest to become a successful YouTuber. Wish me and help me gr�w to 1OOO subs!?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *