Things You’ll Know If You’re A Teacher

– Yeah… – Whatever miss, i really dont like the way you teach – Uh.. Ms. Murphy, i think there is a poo on the floor Oh my days. What did I do? Did I do that there? Did I do that aye? Mh, Mrs. Murphy there’s definitely a poo on the floor and there’s a footprint in it! okay Oh, the most awkward moments I’ve had to do a bit of sex ed, for the little ones And they’ll ask questions like, what’s public hair? I’ve got awkward moments with kids Boys Kids having crushes Oh God was it awkward We have silent reading And I have a kind of soft area for people who’ve done really well they can like lounge on the sofa And anyway, 15 minutes into the silent reading Oh God don’t say it yeah I just do a quick walk around and i just see this movement (gasp) oh my God Oh um, would you uh would you like to go to the bathroom Receiving strange gifts I’ve had a few Food that has been eaten A box of paracetamol Jewelry that has been stolen clearly A clay effigy of my head My friend, a teacher friend A child gave her weed once I bought this for you because, um, it helps my mum Seeing students or parents in public Most of the times if they see me it’s like an out-of-body experience I can’t believe that you exist outside of the school environment I was coming down some escalators into the tube And then a little boy and his dad were coming up And he just went (gasp) Staff room romances ohh ohhh I actually got married to a guy that I met at school- I’m joking I’m bloody single I’m at a primary school There are no male teachers If you get like a male, relatively attractive all the women are just like Oh, who’s the new teacher? When you get outside visitors and there are men in the building It’s like ‘restrain the students!’ Oh yeah, when the firemen came to school Oh my goodness You only work 6 hours a day and have loads of holidays Oh my God can I punch every person in the throat that says that? I woke up at 6, I get into school at 7 Saturday academies Stay in late, parents evening open evening giving up your weekends Best way to respond to this is Yeah I know, it’s so good Maybe I should react like that Cause’ usually my normal reaction is like ‘No.’ I think I used to be like that as times past i’ve just learned that no matter how much I defend myself people always think I’m a slacker Okay, end of term parties Raucous, and was the reason I gave up drinking I think.. oh teachers By the time we get to the end of term Christmas parties, summer parties…

100 thoughts on “Things You’ll Know If You’re A Teacher”

  1. Worst thing about teaching is parents and their nit picking of every little thing, like I have to care ten times more about little Johnny's hating grass….
    The ill behaved children really make parental relationships harder.
    And then some students can be ultimately disrespectful, yet the parents do nothing about it. They sometimes even side with the kids. You want me to teach the kid, but then you allow him to be disrespectful to me? Make it make sense!

  2. I teach plumbing in college can't relate to any of theese. In college all my students are like my mates we have a good laugh and they will learn a lot aswell and if they are 18 we go to pub with the lads in the end of term

  3. as much as so many people hate teachers, they are some of the most important people we have and we should respect them more.

  4. 6 hour school day? Bah! I went started school at 7:15am and left at 3:45pm… thats 8.5 hours…. With a 30 minutes lunch for the entire student body and staff. And thats before the homework for students and grading for teachers!!

  5. 2:00 – My wife has had so many assignments to mark that I've done the multiple choice sections to give her a hand 🙂

  6. I’m a nanny and convinced one set of my kids that the teachers lived at the school (they lived right next door to the school) believed me for months until Halloween when they trick or treated at their teachers house. (The Mum was in on the joke) we did it because the kids would be to loud in the garden and we said if they kept the teachers up they would be extra mean the next day.

  7. My teacher used to say cheat if you can in each and every test/exam because world isn’t fair but if you get caught it’s your responsibility not mine

  8. I like all my lessons EXEPT maths my teachers laugh in the staff room about giving us detentions and dumping us in the English rooms so they don't have to deal with us being silent for 20 minuets

  9. Gawd damn 😦 every teacher here is frickin gorgeous, my teachers look like prison guards or the red witch without her necklace 😓😭

  10. " What's public hair? " AHAHAHAHAHAHA I don't know why it's so hilarious to me 😂😂 this made my day

  11. Kids are like cats, one day they could bring you a nice gift, the next day they’ll give you a dead mouse.

  12. Once my humanity teacher was talking to a staff member the woman started flirting with him little did she know he had a wife Everyone started laughing 😂

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  14. I have all these badly written love letters and poems, songs etc from little boys and also upper high school age boys I taught and I cringe. Not at the obviously romantic sentiments they try to express, which is OK, as I do not respond to these. I am no child molester type teacher…. What makes me cringe is realizing I spent so much time and energy trying to get them to string some words together in bearable English but the letters, poems etc are full off spelling mistakes etc. But, then I look at the sorts of kids who write such sentiments as gifts to offer their favourite teacher and realize they are not the brightest kids in the class, intellectually. But they are often the kindest, nicest, most polite, most caring, helpful etc kids and so I focus on developing these other fine not so intellectual or sporting or beauty attributes they show. Because the world needs such good people. Nothing special. Just average good human beings. A world with nothing but superstars, sporting heroes, intellectual whizz kids etc would be intolerable. That is what is happening now. Nobody wants to be the parent of just a normal, average good child who grows up to be an ordinary honest good human being. I followed up on the lives of some of these kids as they grew up. They ended up in caring jobs, as artistic performers, which I never expected, as they seemed too quiet to be show ponies. Some became types who like to rescue others in danger eg fire fighters, rescue workers etc. None of them ended up famous but none ended up in serious trouble eg in jail, either. So, the fact that their spelling never improved was no major issue. Some kids are just made to be certain thi gs, whereas others are not. But if they can be good citizens and decent human beings, that is a major achievement. I felt so proud of them, despite their crappy spelling.

  15. They all have careful answers to "worst thing about being a teacher" so they didn't get fired. The real worst thing are parents and administration giving you zero freedom or power.

  16. As a student lmao i have had every single expeiricne with teachers that they have mentioned lmao I've even said "did i do that tho "

  17. We finish school at 1230 on the last day so, and this hasn’t been proven but it’s pretty obvious, the teachers can get blackout drunk

  18. Is no-one going to mention the black lady in the denim overalls is the lady from Famalam's "I Don't Like Beyoncé" sketch?

  19. When I was a kid my teacher’s got facts every time I saw them some hated this many liked how much I like history and geography

  20. i once gave my primary school teacher some jewellery i had made in jewellery club, i'm pretty sure she chucked it in the bin

  21. If you are nice to a pupil it can make a huge difference. I am really thankful for each and every teacher who's been nice to me.

  22. all these teachers are attractive.I am a teacher and the worst part about being a teacher is being bullied by the parents.

  23. i did work experience at my old primary school at the end of term 2 (around july for aussie QLD kids) and i was with my old year 3 teacher so every lunch i’d be with her and oh my lord. all these teachers that used to teach me back in primary school i thought were saints… bloody hell i swear half of them are alcoholics 🤣 all jokes aside i learned front up that teachers can be the coolest people ever outside of a school environment and when you’re much older and reconnect!

  24. I'll never forget having to explain to my students that I didn't LIVE AT THE SCHOOL and that I had my own home. To add insult to injury, one child even asked if I was really an "adult." 😂😂😂😂

  25. The worst thing about teaching? Being policed by parents who by default deem you unqualified to even be in the presence of their precious ones based on 1 of 2 things: how old or young you are, or your race (yes this happens).

    The best thing about teaching: knowing that I'm apart of the overall process of their growth into the world and the things that I say and do matter in the grand scheme of what will become of them later. I love my children dearly and am always experiencing those proud teacher moments where a child exhibits having learned something or has improved. It is a beautiful thing. 💓

  26. Things you'll now if you're a teacher: How to mentally scar a child for life, and get away with it because you're always right apparently.

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