39 thoughts on “Teach girls bravery, not perfection | Reshma Saujani”

  1. So hyped…

  2. Totally watched this after reading her empowering book "Brave, Not Perfect"! Thanks for your bravery, Reshma!! <3

  3. Another thing we need to keep in mind is that a lot of this insecurity we have comes from other women themselves. I can't tell you how many times I see it–women getting catty and tearing other women down for trivial things such as how well their eyeshadow is blended, their eyebrows, or their choice of clothing. Women will also hold grudges and violently bring back something small you did/said 5 months ago even if everybody's moved on. That's not to say men don't do the same, but my point is that we're scared of making little mistakes because even our own sisters will reprimand us for anything less than perfect

  4. My whole life my mother called me a Perfectionist, as an insult, not a compliment. My partner now also does the same. Turns out this was never true, they just programmed me that way by nit picking and putting me down when i didn’t do things that matched ‘their view of perfection’

    I now leave my house messy when mother is visiting. She can’t bear it. With partner i’ll deliberately screw something wonky in DIY and watch him squirm as HE can’t bear it.

    Turns out they expect me to be perfect, and when i ran around like a headless chicken trying to be ‘their perfect’ they then used that to label me and/or insult me.

    I was never a perfectionist but i have always been brave.

  5. I tell my baby girls they're beautiful, of course. But way more often I tell them are courageous and brave. Challenge them. Encourage them. Already my 4 year old is incredibly strong of spirit and I love that about her.

  6. my teacher showed this to our class and all the boys called her a feminists, first time I agree with some of my classmates

  7. U think boys are stupid just because we have the balls to do stuff like that doesn’t mean we are stupid some girls do the same stuff not just us like that’s just like being a bully

  8. 저도 예시로 든 완벽주의 여성 중 하나라 너무 공감합니다 여성 분들 같이 용기냅시다

  9. The ignorance in this comment section is cancerous. Literally. Absolutely. Cancerous.

    What can you expect from men though? Most don't want their fucking egos hurt. Assholes.

  10. I relate to many of the male pepole, no one understands me, it's like… I wish I could truly connect with someone, share my feelings, I don't care if that person is female OR male! I'm a female, I AM the boss i want to feel imortant, to feel wanted, I pretend I'm something and someone i want to be but in truth I'm as hard as titanium on the outside with an eternal flame inside, I have a side of me that just wants to give up, to run away, to hide and never come back out, I am like water, I can be tough and destructive, but I can also be soft, helpfully and kind. I am glad to be me, all I ever need is someone to hold me down to earth, and that is what all my friends do for me, I could never ask for better friends, t hank you. You are the reason I have gotten so far in life, you are the reason I am the strong woman i am today.

  11. Ladies and gentlemen, this talk is not exhaustive, but it is valid.

    Just because it does not cover all the sides of gender issues in society (which are probably too many to cover in one TED talk), it does not mean it is lying. I see myself 100% on the girls she describes, exactly as she describes them, and therefore I believe she has a point. There are many like me, and all of the others ones I can think of that suffered the same issues are overprotected straight As girls. People are people, and men and women share similar issues in many, many cases. I am sure there's tons of boys going through similar issues! I know it. We are people. The trend she describes, however, is true in my personal experience. Anybody getting As all the time does not perfectly equal success later on in life, and many times it is the people that fail terribly at school that learn from failure and move on to greener pastures in adulthood. That doesn't mean other examples aren't real. That doesn't mean other realities aren't valid.

    Just because she isn't covering every side and detail doesn't mean she should shut up. She didn't reach her conclusions out of the blue. I am proof of that, sadly, and so are the boys and girls she speaks of in the video. In order for us to get a good grasp of reality we are going to need much more viewpoints, experts, and examples. Before you conclude she is biased, listen to her. Just listen. You don't have to agree. Please, listen.

  12. Women make different choices. Stop trying to make up bullshit fantasies about why there's not an equal outcome of women in high powered jobs, it just makes you look like a moron.

  13. Why r yall so triggered she mentioned in the first 5 mins that boys r alrdy taught to be brave so why not girls as well? I dont see any conflict, I only see encouragement

  14. Thank you Reshma for this talk, and your book. I'm reading your book now with my daughter, who wants to get into Tech.

  15. There are advantages to risk seeking and to risk aversion. If your only goal is equal representation, then Reshma's advice is surely correct. But as a society, we are comfortable with washed up old men who have wasted their lives and squandered their connection with family. We are appalled by similarly situated mothers. If we tell little girls to take more risks, one of the consequences will be greater numbers of mothers who fail in life (not that they don't exist already). I think that if you put this question to women who are currently mothers (Are you OK with X more fortune 500 CEOs who are female and Y more congresswomen if it means Z thousand additional mothers who fail at life) you would get a genuinely mixed response.

    When I thought I would have a girl, I was very committed to accepting this trade off. But I wound up with two boys, so now the decision is being made for somebody else's little girls, and I find that I am much less confident that this is the right path. Certainly a great many men would have led better lives if they had been more risk averse. Also certainly, society is better off (at least today) with more risk seeking behaviors. There isn't a right answer, and this simplistic formulation hides the stark consequences.

  16. It’s quite logical if you think about it from a historical perspective. A female could not afford to dive head first at any moment when she had babies to care for. A male was courageous, he went to hunt and to fight and could potentially die at any moment while she had to stay alive. She could also be courageous and could even die in a fight protecting herself and her children but she had to be really smart about which risks she could afford taking. Playing it safe can sometimes take you further than diving head first at any occasion.
    Not saying though that teaching girls some bravery at our day and age is a bad thing.

  17. I loved the comparison with boys asking someone out on a date! I live in Italy and here (but I heard that in other countries is not the same) it’s pretty common opinion that it should be only boys (man) job, and if a girl tells that the asked a guy out many people will be really surprised about how “brave” (maybe not in a good way) she is… and if she gets a refusal, she will be seen really more like a loser that if a guy did… I heard many times the sentence “if a guy gets a refusal, never mind, but if it’s girl, that’s very bad” … of course it’s a different topic than women pursuing jobs in STEM, but I believe there is a common way of thinking

  18. This is traffic lecture. You're great speaker. so inspiring. This patriarchy society need to fix this. They need to fix producing images of women being standing behind men. protected by men, supporting men to success. This is done in this generation. This is done!

  19. She makes a lot of mistakes. These characteristics are seen in Chimpanzees…as well. So whether this is social conditioning or evolution we dont know as we have evolved from chimpanzees. Class 5 maths is memorised. Girls do better than boys even in class 12 boards(which is agian a stupid exam)…However if you look at SATs and Olympiads there is a stark difference between boards and these exams. In the manner of the exams and the performance of boys and girls in them as well…This is a woman who has not done her homework….If you look at SAT scores the ratio of Boys to girls is 3:1. If you look at olympiads in mathematics the participant number is 9:1. And she is assuming here that a life with a traditional job with time for family is somehow inferior to being a CEO and working 70-80 hours a week with 5 hours of sleep and having to pick up calls during your sleep. She doesnt prove that just states it.

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