Substitute Teacher Pt. 2 – Key & Peele


JAY-KWELIN.
– HERE. – YOU ARE PRESENT?
BA-LAKAY. – UH, HERE.
– UH-HUH. DE-NICE.
– HERE. – GOOD. JE-SEEKA. THANK YOU. – MR. GARVEY? – WHAT IS IT, A-ARON? – SOME OF US NEED TO LEAVE
A FEW MINUTES EARLY TODAY. – OH. OH, IS THAT SO?
– MM-HMM. – AND WHAT, PRAY TELL… IS THE REASON FOR
THIS PREMATURE EXODUS? – YEARBOOK PHOTOS. UM, WE HAVE TO LEAVE
15 MINUTES EARLY TO MEET UP WITH OUR CLUBS. – [chuckles]
OKAY. ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT MIGHT WORK
WITH OTHER SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS, BUT I TAUGHT
IN THE INNER CITY FOR OVER 20 YEARS. NOW, Y’ALL WANNA
LEAVE MY CLASS EARLY SO Y’ALL CAN GO MEET UP
AT “THE CLUB.” AIN’T NONE OF Y’ALL
OLD ENOUGH TO GO TO THE DAMN CLUB! RIDICULOUS. – MR. GARVEY?
– DUMB SON OF A BITCH! DID I
ST-ST-ST-ST-ST-STUTTER? – JUST THEN, YES. – I’M GONNA THROW YOU OUT
THE GODDAMN WINDOW! WHAT, JAY-KWELIN? – MR. GARVEY, WE’RE–
WE’RE TELLING THE TRUTH. WE–WE HAVE CLUBS
AT THE SCHOOL. WE HAVE CLUBS
FOR SPECIAL INTERESTS. – OKAY, I SEE.
SO Y’ALL WANNA PLAY. Y’ALL WANNA PLAY. YEAH, OKAY,
WE GONNA PLAY LITTLE GAMES. FINE. I’LL PLAY. I’M MORE THAN HAPPY TO PLAY
SOME GAMES WITH Y’ALL. ANYONE WHO’S IN A CLUB…
STAND YOUR ASS UP. UH-HUH. OH, YEAH,
THERE IT IS, THERE IT IS. THE USUAL SUSPECTS. WHAT THE HELL CLUB
ARE YOU IN, JAY-KWELIN? – FUTURE LEADERS
OF AMERICA. – OKAY, OKAY. HOW WOULD YOU KNOW
IF YOU’RE GONNA BE A LEADER IN THE FUTURE? IS THERE A STARGATE
IN YOUR BEDROOM? CAN YOU TRAVEL THROUGH TIME,
JAY-KWELIN? – NO.
– THEN SIT THE FLIP DOWN! BA-LAKAY, I–
HERE’S THE THING. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY
I’M ABOUT TO ASK YOU THIS. B-LAKAY,
WHAT CLUB ARE YOU IN? – UM, PART OF THE SPANISH CLUB. – SPAN–THE SP–
YOU ABOUT AS SPANISH AS REE-ON SEACREST, WITH YOUR BIG-ASS
FRAGGLE ROCK HAIR! HOW ‘BOUT YOU, DE-NICE? – I’M IN THE CHESS CLUB. – UH, I’M SORRY, SWEETHEART, YOU ARE NOT
IN THE CHEST CLUB. THE “MOSQUITO BITE CLUB,”
MAYBE. – AH, THAT’S HURTFUL.
– TRUTHFUL. THERE HE IS. A-ARON…
– HEY. – WHAT CLUB ARE YOU IN? – I’M THE PRESIDENT
OF THE GLEE CLUB. WHY DID I TALK? – THE GLEE CLUB?
AAH! LIKE THEY GONNA HAVE
A CLUB DEDICATED TO A TV SHOW! TAKE YOUR ASS TO
O-SHAG-HANNESSEY’S OFFICE RIGHT NOW,
BEFORE I BUST A CLUB UP IN YOUR BUTT!
– OKAY. – GO!
– [crying] OKAY, I’M GONNA GO. – MISCHIEVOUS
AND DECEITFUL! CHICANEROUS
AND DEPLORABLE. – THIS IS PRINCIPAL
O’SHAUGHNESSY. STUDENTS, PLEASE REPORT
TO THE GYMNASIUM FOR YOUR CLUB PHOTOS.
– FAKE ANNOUNCEMENT. NOW, DOES ANYBODY IN HERE
HAVE A VALID REASON FOR LEAVING THIS CLASSROOM?
T-MOTHY. – I GOTTA PICK UP MY DAUGHTER.
– YOU’RE EXCUSED.

100 thoughts on “Substitute Teacher Pt. 2 – Key & Peele”

  1. Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. Timofey must finally feel relieved. Heโ€™s been telling teachers he has to pick up his child for months since he transferred to this school from the inner city and no one believed him. Thank goodness Mr. Garvey came along.

  3. 2:55

    THE GLEE CLUB?!!!!
    AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

    Like they gon' have a club, dedicated to a TV show! Take your a** to O-Shag-Hennessy's office right now before I bust a club up in your butt!!!!!!

  4. there's some damn good actors in there because I woulda lost my shit as soon as that guy said a single word lmao

  5. He's just racist that's why he's letting TIM OOO THY leave he's the only one else in the class who's black besides him.

  6. "does anybody have a valid reason for leaving this classroom."
    "I gotta go pick up my daughter."
    "you're excused."๐Ÿคฃ

  7. A very true depiction of what supply teachers are like. They simply waste time till the class ends because they canโ€™t admit they canโ€™t teach.

  8. Part 2 is just as hilarious as part 1
    Timothy answered his name right & he had a great excuse to leave the classroom
    He have to go pick up his daughter ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
    I can't with them

  9. Substitute: โ€Now does anybody in here, have a valid reason, for leaving this classroom…Timothyโ€

    Timothy: (straight face) โ€I gotta go pick up my daughterโ€

    Substitute: (calmly) โ€youโ€™re excusedโ€

  10. This guy shouldโ€™ve been in wild n out he wouldโ€™ve been funny specially him and dc young fly.๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Came back to watch this hallelujah.

  11. Alright so if i'm getting this right.., they're too young to go to the club, but having children is no problemo?

  12. โ€œYaโ€™ll wanna play, yaโ€™ll wanna play.โ€ ๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿฝ

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