Substitute Teacher – Key & Peele


[bell rings] – ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, Y’ALL. I’M Y’ALL’S SUBSTITUTE TEACHER,
MR. GARVEY. I TAUGHT SCHOOL FOR 20 YEARS
IN THE INNER CITY, SO DON’T EVEN THINK
ABOUT MESSING WITH ME. Y’ALL FEEL ME?
– MM-HMM. – OKAY.
LET’S TAKE ROLL HERE. JAY QUELLIN. WHERE’S JAY QUELLIN AT? NO JAY QUELLIN HERE? – [clears throat]
– YEAH. – UH, DO YOU MEAN JACQUELINE? – OKAY. SO THAT’S
HOW IT’S GONNA BE. Y’ALL WANNA PLAY. OKAY, THEN. I GOT MY EYE ON YOU,
JAY QUELLIN. BALAKAY. WHERE IS BALAKAY AT? THERE’S NO BALAKAY HERE TODAY? YES, SIR. – MY NAME IS BLAKE.
– BL… ARE YOU OUT
OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? [mocking voice] BLAKE.
WHAT? DO YOU WANNA GO TO WAR, BALAKEY?
– NO. – ‘CAUSE WE COULD GO TO WAR.
– NO. – I’M FOR REAL.
I’M FOR REAL. SO YOU BETTER CHECK YOURSELF. DEE-NICE. IS THERE A DEE-NICE? IF ONE OF Y’ALL SAYS
SOME SILLY-ASS NAME… THIS WHOLE CLASS
IS GONNA FEEL MY WRATH. NOW, DEE-NICE.
– DO YOU MEAN DENISE? – SON OF A BITCH! YOU SAY YOUR NAME RIGHT,
RIGHT NOW. – DENISE?
– YOU SAY IT RIGHT. – DENISE.
– CORRECTLY. – DENISE.
– RIGHT. – DENISE.
– RIGHT. – DEE-NICE.
– THAT’S BETTER. – [sighs]
– THANK YOU. NOW, AY-AY-RON. WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE IS AY-AY-RON RIGHT NOW? NO AY-AY RON, HUH? WELL, YOU BETTER BE SICK,
DEAD, OR MUTE, AY-AY-RON! – HERE.
OH, MAN. – WHY DIDN’T YOU ANSWER ME
THE FIRST TIME I SAID IT, HUH? – HUH?
– YOU KNOW, I’M JUST ASKING YOU. I SAID IT,
LIKE, FOUR TIMES. SO WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY IT THE
FIRST TIME I SAID, “AY-AY-RON?” – BECAUSE IT’S PRONOUNCED
“AARON.” – SON OF A BITCH!
[clattering] YOU DONE MESSED UP, AY-AY RON,
NOW TAKE YOUR ASS ON DOWN TO OH-SHAG-HENNESY’S OFFICE
RIGHT NOW AND TELL HIM EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID! – WHO?
– OH-SHAG-HENNESY! – PRINCIPAL O’SHAUGHNESSY? – GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN
CLASSROOM BEFORE I BREAK MY FOOT OFF
IN YOUR ASS! INSUBORDINATE… AND CHURLISH. TYM-OH-THEE. – PRESENT.
– THANK YOU!

100 thoughts on “Substitute Teacher – Key & Peele”

  1. Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. Mr. Principal we had many complaints about a substitute teacher
    "Terrible name pronouncer, loud, rude, an idiot."

    Do we fire him?
    No…make it easier to pronounce the student's names

  3. When I watch a sketch with mostly Key, Key is my favorite. When I watch a sketch with mostly Peele, Peele is my favorite.

  4. I hope & pray, I come across a Jaclyn, Blake, Denise and Aaron in my life time, so I can call them by their ethnic names.πŸ˜†

  5. I’ve watched this video a million times and this is the first time I realized that the female reproductive system is drawn on the board.

  6. Reminds me of a substitute teach I had back in 8th grade. Some army sergeant dude. Pronounced Sean as "Sheen" and I started laughing, then he called me Sgt. Chuckles and told me to stand up and grab my own shirt and shove a tray down my throat if I kept on chuckling.

    Thanks Key & Peele for reminding me of funny times lol.

  7. After Aaron Lewis says to the fans I don't speak Spanish I'm American and walks off stage after crowd refuses to be quiet.
    You done messed up a Aron

  8. R you outta your god ****mindβ€½
    Blaaaake! Whaattttβ€½
    Do you wanna go 2 war ballakee?
    No
    Cause we could go 2 war
    No
    I'm forreal…..I'm for-,real!!
    So you better check yourself!

  9. Can you imagine if this was the reverse with a white or even a Mexicano substitute teacher reprimanding Black students for not pronouncing "ask" correctly or to stop repeating "Yuh know what I'm sayin" and to stop with the "Motha Fuckuh" thing? That would be RACIST.

  10. I just realized this he is playing a spoof version of Samuel Jackson from the film β€œ187”, where Jackson plays a substitute teacher from the inner city, same haircut and all lol

  11. 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

  12. Hands down still my β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ§‘πŸ§‘πŸ§‘πŸ§‘πŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ–€πŸ–€πŸ–€πŸ–€πŸ–€πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ–€πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›

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