My first visit to a phycologist learning to heal

hello well reserved a holic hello honey me Amica have had the best I hanging out oh I've had the best I have you had a good day yeah is it good to hang out with your daddy again good morning um that bit was filmed yesterday when I have mica for the day had a plan last night to go and go on a bit of adventure but about what on that cuz I just wanted to stay at home that's the next day now um oh that's going to my first session with a psychologist which I'm like really excited about but also terrified out I'm also running late for a session with a psychologist I'm busted nothing to be too scared about it's kind of hard because it's just first time around so it's a matter of going over everything again all the fun stuff that I try not to think about on a daily basis had to go over it again this morning yeah it's about making a plan to go forward from here and taking the steps to find healthy coping mechanisms instead of just self-destructive ones so that's that's pretty cool um well not with me her again she's a bit sick today so I can't go to day care she's just inside having a little snooze and then now I'm not really sure what I'm up to tonight I've got a couple of things that I'm thinking about doing but whatever happens I'm gonna take you along right now I'm gonna go lay down with my little girl and have a sleep she's not the only one that's not feeling great it was a little bit tired Mika's dropped off a favour same so settled she's looking a little healthier when I drop her off laughing and joking and carrying on which is cool such many babies are sick man it's terrible especially me as a dad I never plan on having kids it was never gonna be something I did and I thought it would be okay because I figured Manor mom would always be together and I'll always have that backup for them when we split it's like all of a sudden you go go from being back up there to just here's your kid drop it back on Monday make sure she's okay and your honor it always feel like I'm just bluffing my way – I think all parents feel like that a lot is that literally have no idea what we're doing just making it up as we go along for me though when she has seeking that I don't have any experience with that you know I'm never had other kids oh I don't really know what to do and I am I struggled enough and doing the right things or not but we get to her she's still alive she's still healthy it's nice main thing tonight's mission um I was gonna just bow on everything and sit at home I'm like no I can't do that no but a friend who's about an hour and a half away in the hospital just had some pretty serious surgery yesterday and I was talking to her today and she's like man I'd really kill for some visitors and a red bull and I'm like well I can do that I got nothing else to do yeah on the road now driving down to Gosford start off at the hospital and drop a red ball off cos meanwhile I was in hospital last week and a lot of people went out of their way to help me so this is only care what goes around comes around and again Willie's got some supplies to go home and make a feed been down the coast and back again about three four hours later now as you can see it's a bit darker outside but yeah I went down caught up with my mate that I've known for 11 or 12 years we used to live in the same town in New Zealand like all that time ago and now we live like an hour and a half away from each other down the coast in Australia which is it's crazy but that's just the way life works out yeah so they've just had surgery it was really good to catch up with them and see how they're doing zoom going good and looking forward to a bright future ahead which is cool yeah a long time in the car with my Forte's processing things from today and I'm quite exhausted after going through all again with the psychiatrist this morning brought up a lot of stuff because the psychic doesn't only want to know what's going on right now they want to dig right back and I mean I was I was talking about stuff today that I've only ever shared with one other person and um yeah that that person I trusted more than anything and I am I hurt me pretty bad so yeah it's taken a bit to process but I say it's all it's all part of the recovery and a part of the road Ford I'm just gonna keep looking forward I'm not looking back now I better I'll catch up with another right now because I'm I'm really battling with loneliness at moment another thing that came out of the psychologists today is I'm not sure if I'm gonna get clearance to go back to work which is um which is quite interesting cause I've only got two weeks left to work out my notice and then I finish the job and the psychiatrist is like well you know you're not really healed like you know you're still in the same spot you're just working forwards and is it worth going back for two weeks and doing that and I was like why that's your job you know like I feel bad for not going to work because I feel like I could be working but obviously driving every machinery while you're distracted not the safest idea in the world so yeah um should find out tomorrow if I've got clearance to go back to work or not otherwise yeah and what what shushing work a little bit earlier well just cool that's just another unknown I guess and I mean you know just gotta take in my stride well yeah it's um it's good reconnecting with a few friends and that that I haven't seen a lot of lately caught up with a um dude that's always been there for me yesterday I was saying in the last video about like the people in the background you don't hear from all the time but when you need someone to write there so yeah like it's really cool connecting with all these people again and connecting with myself and it's definitely helping me remember who I am and yeah like what I like about me and the good parts oh there's another one place cameras gonna fall over here um made me kur tried to make me if you're a teddy bear today came out kind of cool but as you can see it's raining rice it's it didn't work too well anyway we'll make it better one next time we slept that together and without half an hour today and it was a good bit of fun for her she's obsessed with sewing now for some reason I don't mind because it's great to me it's like it's like welding or building it's just a way of joining two bits of material together and creating something which is really cool and it's a fun thing to do with my daughter I love it well of doing anything with her that's creative so yeah that's pretty choice but anyway I'm getting rambley so I'm gonna cut her off here and just leave it there thank you so much for watching and sticking by loving all the comments thank you so much for subscribing I love you let's hear the next one bye

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