Masturbation Myths | Teesha Morgan | TEDxStanleyPark


Translator: Ellen Maloney
Reviewer: Peter van de Ven Did you know that spicy foods
actually increase your sex drive? That they wake up your libido and actually cause you
to become more lustful as a result? And did you know that if you are a man
and you masturbate enough, you can actually become infertile? Not only that, but it can cause
a slow degenerative condition that not only affects the man
but any offspring that he has as well. And did you know
that too much self-loving can actually cause you to grow hair
on the palms of your hands? (Laughter) Everyone will know what you do
with your spare time. (Laughter) OK, everything I just told you was a lie. (Cheering) Thank God! But it was not that long ago
when people used to believe these things. And many still do. So today I am talking to you
about masturbation myths. So we can uncover some of today’s
most perpetuated falsehoods and unearth some from the past that have actually come to shape
our present-day reality. For example – unsweetened Kellogg’s cornflakes were developed by Dr. John Harvey Kellogg. See, he was an anti-masturbation crusader. He believed, as did
many people at the time, that spicy foods led to lust,
and lust led to masturbation, and masturbation led
to a whole host of horrible things. So, he developed this diet
that was bland in flavour to hopefully decrease
the chances of masturbation. (Laughter) It was actually his brother Will
that added sugar to the flakes and marketed them as a breakfast cereal
before they took off. The Graham Cracker
actually has a similar past. Sylvester Graham was a minister
and anti-masturbation crusader, and he developed
the Graham Cracker, as well, as part of a bland diet
in order to decrease masturbation. If he only knew what we did with S’mores. (Laughter) Now, it wasn’t just these two men campaigning against
the evils of masturbation. In fact, most health care professionals
at the time, and health manuals, believed the same thing. So, now it is easy for us
to snicker at this and think how naive and ignorant
these people must have been to believe such silly things. Because of course,
we have evolved leaps and bounds out of our grandparents’ generation
of sexual shaming. We know our facts. I mean, we are part of movements
like legalising gay marriage, and improving our sex education
in our school systems, and increasing our ‘clitoracy’ through things like
‘The Vagina Monologues’. (Laughter) We know our facts. Or do we? There is actually still a lot of falsehood
around masturbation today. You see, as a sex therapist, I get to meet and talk
with a whole host of different people. It is actually quite a unique opportunity because people come to me and they tell me their innermost
thoughts and feelings, their desires, their fears,
their anxieties, their wishes – everything. And over time,
you start to notice patterns. So, for example: Women will often come to me because
they have not been able to have an orgasm. Now, being preorgasmic could stem
from a whole host of different things, but one trend I often see is that many women still feel
so much shame around self-pleasuring, around masturbation,
that they do not do it. Therefore, they’re
relying on their partner as their only means to orgasm attainment. But they have no roadmap for their body. With men, I often see a different trend. Where maybe – (Laughter) stay with me on this – (Laughter) maybe they have relied on masturbation as their sole means
for orgasm attainment for so long that this has created adverse patterns. Now, regardless if the client
is a male or a female, looking at the issues
surrounding masturbation and how that ties
to the presenting sexual issue is extremely important to recognize. So today, I thought we’d address
masturbation myths, as our mistaken beliefs will have a
trickle-down effect on future generations and contribute to many
sexuality based issues that I see today. So, let’s do a little fact-or-fiction
with our favourite pastime, shall we? Fact or fiction? Women who rely on vibrators
or toys to masturbate will not be able to have an orgasm
with her partner during sex. They will become dependent on it. That is fiction, yes. So, some women do like more intense,
direct stimulation on the clitoral hood, which a vibrator will provide
more so than a penis, yes, but that does not cause an inability
to reach orgasm by other means. In fact, research shows that women
who take their time to self-explore and learn about their body
through masturbation are more likely to attain
an orgasm with a partner than those who do not. Alright, fact or fiction? Those in dating relationships
are more likely to masturbate than those who are single. That is a fact. So, those in relationships are more likely
or just as likely to masturbate than those who are single. Not only that, but homosexual behavior
is associated with a higher degree, or a higher frequency of masturbation. Men masturbate more than women, older people less than younger people, African-Americans less than other groups, non-religious more so than Christians, and the more educated you are, the more likely it is
that you will masturbate. Fact or fiction? I think she’s reading
Fifty Shades of Grey. (Laughter) Women – fact. (Laughter) Women generally masturbate by inserting
objects into the vagina; therefore, simulating penetrative sex. That was a quick one. (Laughter) Fiction, yes. Some women do masturbate in this fashion, and that is fine and completely normal. However, it is far more likely
for women to masturbate by using clitoral stimulation,
or the stimulation of the clitoral hood. The clitoris is actually
a very interesting little body part. It is not merely a little button
that’s hidden away, you know, we say,
look for the little man in the canoe. (Laughter) It is actually a fairly large
internal organ, and it is the only body part
that exists solely for pleasure. The clitoris is estimated to be
between 9 and 12 centimeters long and 6 centimeters wide. Fact or fiction? Early childhood masturbation is abnormal and may mean that your child
is hypersexual. Well done. Fiction. So, children learn very early on
what feels good when they touch their bodies,
both male and female. So, early childhood masturbation,
well before puberty, even into infancy,
is actually quite normal. (Laughter) This man looks very worried. (Laughter) Fact or fiction? Too much masturbation
can cause adverse health risks. That is fiction. So, the only health risk associated
with too much masturbation would be allergic reactions
due to lubricants, infections due to unwashed toys, or just skin irritations in general. Masturbation is actually
the ultimate form of safe sex and masturbation – (Laughter) fact! – (Laughter) masturbation resulting in orgasm actually carries with it
a plethora of positive health benefits. It alleviates headaches,
it decreases stress, it is a sleep aid, and it actually improves
your immune functioning. And women who masturbate
during their period can actually alleviate menstrual cramps. It is estimated that about
95% of men and 89% of women have masturbated
at some time in their life. So, masturbating,
for both sexes, every day even, is normal and healthy. So, the only adverse health risk
that might be associated with it is if you are masturbating so much that you stop going to work, let’s say, (Laughter) or it is impeding your daily functioning
and social responsibilities, then it may be an issue – and you should come and see me. (Laughter) Fact or fiction? Masturbation will not
impede your stamina or affect your performance before a big game or workout. That is a fact. So as I already said, masturbation carries with it a plethora
of positive health benefits, so it actually may be beneficial to you
rather than harmful. Again, the only thing
that could cause you problems is if you are masturbating
to the point of exhaustion. (Laughter) But then, that would be true
for any activity where you are repeatedly using
the same muscles over and over again. Alright, last one. (Laughter) Now, this is a very common one I get. Fact or fiction? Masturbation causes premature ejaculation
and erectile disfunction. You are all quieter on this one, I see. (Laughter) That is fiction. Now, this is a very complicated issue. So, the general act of masturbation
does not cause erectile dysfunction; however, it may be helpful to think of it
in terms of a sports analogy. So, let’s say you are
a professional athlete. During practice, you are sloughing off,
you are not trying hard during the drills, just not being an overall good player. Now, when you get
into a game-time situation, you are not going to play like a pro. Why? Because you practice like you play. So, you have to think
of masturbation in the same way. Masturbation is the practice;
partnered sex is the play. So, for example. Let’s say, as a man,
every single time you masturbate, you only give yourself a few minutes
from first touch to ejaculation. That may condition you
to those few minutes. So, when you are with a partner
and you want to last longer, that may create problems for you. Or let’s say, you watch
the same type of visual stimuli, let’s say foot-fetish
pornography, for instance. And then you are with a partner
who hates their feet, does not want you anywhere near them. That could create psychological
arousal problems for you. So now, again, I am not saying
it’s a cause and effect. What I am stressing is the importance
of making your practice and your play as similar as possible, just like anything in life
that you want to be good at. So now, I can stand up here and do the fact
versus fiction battle all day, but perhaps the catalyst for change
isn’t just in the education but on a shift in perspective. Now, there is few people
in North America, today at least, campaigning against
the evils of masturbation like Kellogg and Sylvester
Graham used to do; however, there is still
a lot of negativity around this one word or this one behavior
that we have in our society today. So, if we think of all this negativity
around this one thing, how do we break free of this
perpetual cycle of fear-based myths? We just keep creating more. I mean, the Roman Catholic Church
still holds that masturbation is sinful, so many Catholics may not masturbate or feel guilty about masturbating
because of that. And many children inherit
negative views around masturbation from their parents. Now, speaking to the guilt. When I was younger, I did something that
I probably shouldn’t have. Now, I was really worried
about getting caught. So, I pleaded with the cosmos. I was like, “Please,
if I can get away with this, just let me out unscathed, I will not masturbate
for an entire month. Thirty days! Thirty straight days.” Now, I have no idea who I was pleading to,
I am not a religious person, but I think that in times where we feel like we do not have a lot of control
over our present or our future, we reach out to this cosmos. So now, I was lucky enough
not to get caught, but when I look back on that now,
what stands out for me is that I viewed masturbation
as something that was so wrong or something that was so bad that I could use it as a bargaining tool. Almost like giving up smoking or drinking. Now, I was very blessed to be raised
in a household with amazing parents who never taught me
that masturbation was wrong or something I should be ashamed of
or something that was sinful. And I as I have already said,
I was not a religious person, so where was I getting
these messages from? I’ve come to realize,
it was from our society as a whole. For example. If you google the term masturbation
and look for synonyms, words like self-abuse come up
on almost every single page. So, with all this negativity
around this one word, how do we break free of this? I think we need new terminology
for the word masturbation. Because changing the words we use to describe people,
places, events and ideas are our first steps towards
changing our perspectives on them. Now, I am not saying
that masturbation is a bad word or that using proper
terminology is a bad thing; what I am saying is that
if we can be a little bit more positive in our adult, slang word of tongue, in our day-to-day conversations, this would be helpful. For example. I just stayed in last night. Played a little sexual solitaire.
It was a good night. (Laughter) Or, I asked Jenny to come out with me, but she said she needed
a little ‘me time’. A little self-relaxation therapy. You know? She was having herself
a ‘onesome’ instead of a threesome – sounded great. Now, I am not saying that this change
is going to happen overnight, but what I am asking is for
each of you to do a little introspection, to look at the words that we use
to describe masturbation and our hang-ups surrounding it. Because if we can change this,
we can change our perspective on it, we will have a better society. We will be better partners,
better lovers, better communicators. And the sexual problems that I see daily
will decrease dramatically. So, I think now
is the perfect time, tonight. Go home, set the mood, turn the lights down low, and romance the hell out of yourself. (Laughter) (Applause)

100 thoughts on “Masturbation Myths | Teesha Morgan | TEDxStanleyPark”

  1. This fly's in the face of all the current independent research. Female and male nofap is scientifically proven to bring nothing but benefits. If you're in a marriage it means intimacy and communication will be greatly heightened. Everything she says is lies. The pro fornication movement is a sign of the times we live in. Be blessed and live forever in Christ

  2. What about the dude effects such as being a recluse

    No motivation to get a real woman staying in doors playing video games depression etc

  3. Her dressing sense is perfect…😂😂

    If you have that frequent masterbation problem…come to me…
    No I will never…😜😂😂🤣

  4. Your "pleading to the cosmos" is actually prayers directed to God. Everyone is born with that innate disposition to feel His existence; we just ignore it for different reasons…

  5. Brahmacharya is the Way of life atleast practice it for 1 year u will know the benefits, 12 years u will have special powers….go ahead if u want to kill urself slowly……..:)

  6. You need God in tour life. Masturbation can be very addictive and it ruins lives. I don't think this is something to be encouraged as normal in society.

  7. If you got worried in the first few seconds, maybe you should give your brain a little break. A little time to reboot so to speak. The fact that your heart started pounding meant, maybe, that you are doing it too much. Take a little time off, do things that you enjoy, pick up a new hobby, start eating heathier, work on yourself. Realise that maybe you were using masturbation as a means to escape reality, to "tone" yourself up. You feel a little low; masturbation, and this leads to a vicious cycle of highs and lows, followed by more lows. Give your brain a little break.

  8. so someone who uses powertools everyday looses sensitivity in their hands but vibrators are fine? Sorry, but nofap all the way.

  9. बाई तुमचे मनापासून आभार
    अरे जोर से बोलो
    अपना हाथ जगन्नाथ
    हाता ने चोळा पोर टाळा एड्स टाळा

  10. Over 4 million views from women wanting to know if or if not it's ok to " ring the devil's door bell " ! 😂💦😂💦😂💦

  11. So, she's encouraging keeping individuals at a low vibration by falling victim to our bodily urges, through false justification, and momentary pleasure? Pathetic. We must retain this life force. If you know, you know.

  12. False false false……
    Masturbation is not healthy.
    Too much of masturbation can cause edema. It evils a human. The mas forgets his duty to respect woman. We already know that it is prohibited In Most of the religions. So please don't support it. It ruined the lives of men directly or indirectly.

  13. This has to be the stupidest advice to all Men I have had nothing but depression and low energy I am not religious I have personal experience knowledge only comes with experience this has to be the stupidest advice for Men that want to be productive full of life

  14. She needs to do research on the actual physical and spiritual effect that masturbation has on a person this is conventional advice No Bueno!

  15. I am talking about the effects it has on Men NOT WOMEN I want to be very clear I have no clue on the effects on women I Am A Man and have no clue if it drains them as well!

  16. She also forgets to mention though that there's adverse health effects where it can leave you feeling depressed about doing it, that I'm pretty sure is a common thing and I'm confident it's not just me

  17. This Dr. Is fine. MeeeOow.
    I need an appointment asap!!!
    "Doctor, doctor. Give me the news. I gotta bad case, of loving you"… haha
    …Everybody "beat it" more often please…learn to lighten your "load".

  18. She is right about some things but I believe it DOES teach me instant gratification which makes my life feel harder than it is.. I get more distracted because I tend to search for a stimulus that gives me similar feeling more often.. I did experience worse performance at a gym after doing it (I'm talking day or two before).. I'm not sure about immunity improvement, I only notice brief improvement when I'm sick and then I feel even more tired and overall worse.. I don't tell anyone what to do but for me it seems helpful. I don't have religious reasons, I'm not ashamed of it and I don't care about going against mainstream.. Maybe it helps only certain types of people, who knows, I'm probably one of them.. For anyone who looks down on this, I encourage you to stay open minded.. give it try for several days.. If then you decide It's utter nonsense, it's ok..

  19. @14:37 "If you Google synonyms" of masturbation. Of course Google would have the algorithm around negativity of the act. Says a lot about that Orwellian cult Corp.

  20. You should be Rewarded a Nobel Vibrator suit. highly Informative, all facts,very detailed, so much hardwork on jokes. Highly researched and all sources were mentioned that support bold claims.

  21. WHEN MY MOM CAUGHT DOING THE DASTARDLY DEED SHE TOLD ME IT WOULD CAUSE ME TO GO BLIND! I THEN ASKED HER IF I COULD JUST DO IT UNTIL I NEEDED GLASSES!!! GO FIGURE !

  22. Its time and again that these Ted talks or Ted X talks(depending on whatever the heck they are called)pop up in my suggestions list and prove themselves to be void of content and material. They are barely informative and sometimes eternally boring.

  23. The most eloquent and mellifluous speaker I've ever heard. I just want her to keep talking 😄 and such immense intellect and wit ! Wow! But surprised that Ted has spelling mistakes 😛

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