How to speak so that people want to listen | Julian Treasure


The human voice: It’s the instrument we all play. It’s the most powerful sound
in the world, probably. It’s the only one that can start a war
or say “I love you.” And yet many people have the experience that when they speak, people
don’t listen to them. And why is that? How can we speak powerfully
to make change in the world? What I’d like to suggest, there are a number of habits
that we need to move away from. I’ve assembled for your pleasure here
seven deadly sins of speaking. I’m not pretending
this is an exhaustive list, but these seven, I think, are pretty large
habits that we can all fall into. First, gossip. Speaking ill of somebody
who’s not present. Not a nice habit,
and we know perfectly well the person gossiping, five minutes later,
will be gossiping about us. Second, judging. We know people who are like this
in conversation, and it’s very hard to listen to somebody if you know that you’re being judged
and found wanting at the same time. Third, negativity. You can fall into this. My mother, in the last years of her life,
became very negative, and it’s hard to listen. I remember one day, I said to her,
“It’s October 1 today,” and she said, “I know, isn’t it dreadful?” (Laughter) It’s hard to listen
when somebody’s that negative. (Laughter) And another form
of negativity, complaining. Well, this is the national art of the U.K. It’s our national sport. We complain about the weather, sport,
about politics, about everything, but actually, complaining is viral misery. It’s not spreading sunshine
and lightness in the world. Excuses. We’ve all met this guy. Maybe we’ve all been this guy. Some people have a blamethrower. They just pass it on to everybody else and don’t take responsibility
for their actions, and again, hard to listen
to somebody who is being like that. Penultimate, the sixth of the seven, embroidery, exaggeration. It demeans our language,
actually, sometimes. For example, if I see something
that really is awesome, what do I call it? (Laughter) And then, of course,
this exaggeration becomes lying, and we don’t want to listen
to people we know are lying to us. And finally, dogmatism. The confusion of facts with opinions. When those two things get conflated, you’re listening into the wind. You know, somebody is bombarding you
with their opinions as if they were true. It’s difficult to listen to that. So here they are, seven deadly
sins of speaking. These are things I think we need to avoid. But is there a positive
way to think about this? Yes, there is. I’d like to suggest that there are four
really powerful cornerstones, foundations, that we can stand on if we want our speech to be powerful and to make
change in the world. Fortunately, these things spell a word. The word is “hail,” and it has
a great definition as well. I’m not talking about the stuff
that falls from the sky and hits you on the head. I’m talking about this definition, to greet or acclaim enthusiastically, which is how I think
our words will be received if we stand on these four things. So what do they stand for? See if you can guess. The H, honesty, of course, being true in what you say,
being straight and clear. The A is authenticity,
just being yourself. A friend of mine described it as
standing in your own truth, which I think is a lovely way to put it. The I is integrity, being your word, actually doing what you say, and being somebody people can trust. And the L is love. I don’t mean romantic love, but I do mean wishing people
well, for two reasons. First of all, I think absolute honesty
may not be what we want. I mean, my goodness,
you look ugly this morning. Perhaps that’s not necessary. Tempered with love, of course,
honesty is a great thing. But also, if you’re really
wishing somebody well, it’s very hard to judge
them at the same time. I’m not even sure you can do
those two things simultaneously. So hail. Also, now that’s what you say, and it’s like the old song,
it is what you say, it’s also the way that you say it. You have an amazing toolbox. This instrument is incredible, and yet this is a toolbox
that very few people have ever opened. I’d like to have a little rummage
in there with you now and just pull a few tools out that you might like to take
away and play with, which will increase
the power of your speaking. Register, for example. Now, falsetto register may not
be very useful most of the time, but there’s a register in between. I’m not going to get very
technical about this for any of you who are voice coaches. You can locate your voice, however. So if I talk up here in my nose,
you can hear the difference. If I go down here in my throat, which is where most of us
speak from most of the time. But if you want weight, you need to go down here to the chest. You hear the difference? We vote for politicians
with lower voices, it’s true, because we associate depth with power and with authority. That’s register. Then we have timbre. It’s the way your voice feels. Again, the research shows that we prefer voices
which are rich, smooth, warm, like hot chocolate. Well if that’s not you,
that’s not the end of the world, because you can train. Go and get a voice coach. And there are amazing things you can do with breathing, with posture,
and with exercises to improve the timbre of your voice. Then prosody. I love prosody. This is the sing-song, the meta-language that we use in order to impart meaning. It’s root one for meaning in conversation. People who speak all on one note
are really quite hard to listen to if they don’t have any prosody at all. That’s where the word
“monotonic” comes from, or monotonous, monotone. Also, we have repetitive
prosody now coming in, where every sentence ends
as if it were a question when it’s actually not
a question, it’s a statement? (Laughter) And if you repeat that one, it’s actually restricting your ability
to communicate through prosody, which I think is a shame, so let’s try and break that habit. Pace. I can get very excited by saying
something really quickly, or I can slow right down to emphasize, and at the end of that, of course,
is our old friend silence. There’s nothing wrong with a bit
of silence in a talk, is there? We don’t have to fill it with ums and ahs. It can be very powerful. Of course, pitch often
goes along with pace to indicate arousal, but you
can do it just with pitch. Where did you leave my keys? (Higher pitch) Where did you
leave my keys? So, slightly different meaning
in those two deliveries. And finally, volume. (Loud) I can get really excited
by using volume. Sorry about that, if I startled anybody. Or, I can have you really pay attention
by getting very quiet. Some people broadcast the whole time. Try not to do that. That’s called sodcasting, (Laughter) Imposing your sound on people around you
carelessly and inconsiderately. Not nice. Of course, where this all comes
into play most of all is when you’ve got something
really important to do. It might be standing on a stage like this
and giving a talk to people. It might be proposing marriage, asking for a raise, a wedding speech. Whatever it is, if it’s really important, you owe it to yourself
to look at this toolbox and the engine that it’s going to work on, and no engine works well
without being warmed up. Warm up your voice. Actually, let me show you how to do that. Would you all like to stand
up for a moment? I’m going to show you the six vocal warm-up exercises
that I do before every talk I ever do. Any time you’re going to talk
to anybody important, do these. First, arms up, deep breath in, and sigh out, ahhhhh, like that. One more time. Ahhhh, very good. Now we’re going to warm up our lips, and we’re going to go Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba. Very good. And now, brrrrrrrrrr, just like when you were a kid. Brrrr. Now your lips
should be coming alive. We’re going to do the tongue next with exaggerated la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la. Beautiful. You’re getting
really good at this. And then, roll an R. Rrrrrrr. That’s like champagne for the tongue. Finally, and if I can only do one, the pros call this the siren. It’s really good. It starts
with “we” and goes to “aw.” The “we” is high, the “aw” is low. So you go, weeeaawww, weeeaawww. Fantastic. Give yourselves
a round of applause. Take a seat, thank you. (Applause) Next time you speak, do those in advance. Now let me just put this
in context to close. This is a serious point here. This is where we are now, right? We speak not very well to people who simply aren’t listening in an environment that’s all
about noise and bad acoustics. I have talked about that on this stage
in different phases. What would the world be like if we were speaking powerfully to people who were listening consciously in environments which were
actually fit for purpose? Or to make that a bit larger, what would the world be like if we were creating sound consciously and consuming sound consciously and designing all our environments consciously for sound? That would be a world
that does sound beautiful, and one where understanding
would be the norm, and that is an idea worth spreading. Thank you. (Applause)

100 thoughts on “How to speak so that people want to listen | Julian Treasure”

  1. Nói thế nào để người khác muốn nghe : "HAILED = CA NGỢI"
    + H: Honesty (sự trung thực): Nói thật, nói thẳng và rõ.

    + A: Authenticity (sự xác thực): Hãy là chính mình.

    + I: Integrity (sự chính trực): Hãy là lời bạn nói, sống theo điều bạn nói và là người đáng tin.

    Nói phải giữ lời, đã hứa là phải làm.

    + L: Love (tình yêu thương): cầu mong điều tốt đẹp và an lành, chúc họ mạnh khỏe.

    Tiếp theo là tăng sức mạnh cho lời nói của bạn
    + Âm vực: Nói ở mũi (giọng the thé), giọng cổ (đa phần mọi người đều vậy) nhưng nếu muốn tăng thêm sức nặng thì cần hạ giọng xuống ngực (bạn đã nghe thấy sự khác biệt chưa), giọng bụng (oki). Ta bỏ phiếu cho chính khách có giọng trầm, đúng thế bởi vì ta gắn độ trầm với sức mạnh và quyền uy.

    + Âm sắc: đó là cảm giác mà giọng bạn đem đến. Nghiên cứu cho thấy, đa số chúng ta đều chuộng chất giọng truyền cảm, mượt, ấm – như sô cô la nóng. Nếu bạn chưa có, đừng lo lắng bởi vì chúng ta đều có thể "Luyện". Tìm huấn luyện viên giọng nói hoặc học các phương pháp và tự luyện tập như cách thở đúng, tư thế, ngôn ngữ hình thể, các bài luyện giọng,..để cải thiện âm sắc của mình thật phong phú, mượt mà, ấm áp và truyền cảm.

    + Ngữ điệu: đó là lúc người nói như hát, bằng siêu ngôn ngữ, ta dùng để truyền tải ý nghĩa lời nói. Những ai nói đều đều, không có sự thay đổi ngữ điệu thì rất khó để lắng nghe, gây ra cảm giác nhàm chán và từ "đơn điệu" sinh ra từ đó.

    => *Chuyển câu hỏi thành những câu khẳng định!
    *

    + Nhịp độ: Tôi trở nên rất, rất chi hào hứng, bằng cách nói rất, rất nhanh, hoặc tôi có thể nói chậm ngay lại để nhấn mạnh và ở cuối câu dĩ nhiên là người bạn cũ, sự im lặng. Không có gì sai với một chút im lặng trong cuộc trò chuyện, đúng không? Ta không cần phải lấp bằng uhm, ah.

    Im lặng là đỉnh cao của nghệ thuật giao tiếp, đôi khi rất có uy.

    (Hãy phấn khích bằng cách nói điều gì đó thực sự nhanh chóng, chậm lại để nhấn mạnh, im lặng để suy ngẫm, tạo sự uy quyền).

    + Cao độ: thường đi kèm nhịp độ để thể hiện sự hứng khởi, nhưng có thể chỉ cần cao độ.

    Ex: Em để chìa khóa của anh ở đâu? (nói to, nhấn mạnh)

    Với các cao độ khác nhau thì sẽ có ý nghĩa khác nhau.

    + Cường độ: Tôi có thể rất hào hứng (nhấn mạnh) bằng cách dùng cường độ. Xin lỗi nếu tôi làm ai đó giật mình. Hoặc, tôi có thể khiến bạn thực sự chú ý bằng cách nói rất khẽ.

    Vui mừng (âm lượng cao) – Chú ý (âm lượng thấp).

    => HÃY LUYỆN TẬP ĐỂ LÀM ẤM GIỌNG NÓI CỦA BẠN!

    Tiếp đến là 6 bài khởi động giọng nói
    + Khi sắp nói với ai quan trọng, hãy làm như sau:

    1. Hơi thở: Đầu tiên hai tay dơ lên, hít sâu và thở ra…ahhhh, như thế. Một lần nữa, ahhhh, rất tốt.

    2. Môi: Giờ chúng ta sẽ làm ấm môi. Nào hãy nói, bặp, bặp, bặp, bặp, bặp, bặp (bặm môi). Rất tốt và bây giờ, brrrrr (phì môi). Yeah, giờ thì môi bạn đầy sức sống.

    3. Lưỡi: Tiếp đến là bài tập lưỡi, bằng cách cường điệu la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la (cong lưỡi và nói to).

    Và rồi, cuốn lưỡi thành chữ R. Rrrrrr (lưỡi cong lên chạm vành răng trên của miệng, đẩy hơi gió trong cổ ra). Giống như thấm rượu sâm banh cho lưỡi.

    4. Tiếng còi: "WeeeeeeeeeAaaaawwww" (Từ cao đến thấp).

    Cuối cùng, tôi sẽ làm mẫu một lần, dân chuyên gọi đây là "tiếng còi".

    Cách này rất tốt. Nó đi từ chữ "we" đến chữ "aw": "we" cao và "aw" thấp.

    Nào ta bắt đầu, weeeaawww, weeeaawww. (WiiuUU ọ, wiuu ò ò).

    Tuyệt, hãy cho chúng ta một tràng pháo tay.

    Mời mọi người ngồi, xin cảm ơn.

    Lần sau trước khi nói chuyện, bạn hãy làm các điều này. Tự luyện tập ở nhà cho thật nhuần nhuyễn. Good luck!

  2. Hahaha He says:Next Time you speak, Do those in advance.. Some people in the background start laughing. Same with me. Cause it's all nothing but a hilarious joke 🙂 good speech anyway

  3. I agree with this video mostly, but a conversation, and on a bigger level, our species cant progress with some negatitivity, judgemnt complaints and several other things that make people listen less. Which is quite a predicament, because to change things, on must be heard, but to be heard you must make people want to hear you. But, once they have heard you, to change anything, you must complain, judge, and be negative to an extent. Which leads people away. Then you need to get peoples attention. As you can see, this continues and causes quite some problems. The only solution is to not just label certain things as generally and always bad, like judgment, negativity, complaints, and the like.

  4. Youtube: How to speak so that people want to listen to you.
    Me: Thi svideo isn't helpful.
    YouTube: Prove it
    Me: 1:25

  5. I think there is not one important point in this lecture.
    the point is that you never make a  contrive fake smile.

  6. in summary be a good positive person, and i would add listening to others yourself would be a great message as well

  7. Please put subtitles because it's difficult to understand for me.if you put subtitles it's useful for me

  8. Getting
    We need conversations to deliver our message which has defined our world,but we must know message should be processed well before we send it,first it’s the content.Please make sure you will hail,honest authenticity integrity and love.On the other hand,delivery is also important,Try to get your voice trained to touch your partners.In most of our conversations,many people solely get one level but forget the other,some people get nothing about those at all,that’s where the misunderstanding comes.Our world will be the Utobiya if everything one knows and conduct in conversations.Another way to save the world !

  9. Your title alone needs work. Why don't you change your wording? 'How to speak ' ? Freaking really, get off your high horse. Why not 'Another WAY to word ..' , 'Of the many thoughts on this, try this possibly with sharing such and such….' ?

    For those who are telling others how to 'Choose their words wisely' aren't to 'wise' themselves as to label something into one and only 'way'.

  10. Nobody listens but only waits for their turn to talk, solution: become a social recluse and observe everyone else as lemmings

  11. Most humans are not thinkers. They are reactors with tribal thinking. The real question is where are you? Do you feel the need to communicate with primitives other than the need to keep the savages calm? Certainly these primitives are easy to hypnotise into following your words just from volume, tone and timing. It's best to move on and away from the idiots who can't comprehend anything beyond drivel.

  12. So, basically the 1st point is not to speak about others then the 3rd point is not to be negative but is ok to speak about your mom when she wasn't around?! Im confused 🤔

  13. Im sorry but this ted talk comes across as something that sounds great at first so you click, but when you really listen (lol) he is saying nothing of substance and anything that is useful should be obvious to you. O my people like it when your honest? Not negative? And it is better to speak clearly and not like a robot! Wow what a grand insight!

  14. Thanks very much more than this so good idea but you so sweet 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

  15. I have a voice problem.

    When I talk to people, especially if it's a person I don't know and it's just to ask a small question, or me saying "thank you" or something. I always do it in a far higher pitched voice than is my neutral voice. Also faster.

    It's an awkward anxiety thing. I need to be very conscious of that. My natural voice speed is very slow.

    When he mentioned speaking from the chest, I think that will help me to remember. That's an easy one, rather than trying to just "talk deeper". Because that's hard in the moment and you don't get any practice.

    Will help me slow down a bit too.

    Got some value out of that. 👍

  16. (1) 其實打賞是可以的,不是穩定收入,但當零花也好。
    (2) 12萬一支廣告。。。能吃飯嗎?

  17. Just great, what I realized that I didn't put enough energy when I recorded my videos, when I reviewed them, not powerful speaking. So people won't be interested in listening neither, trying to improve now!

  18. Why does "understanding being the norm" have to be an idea worth spreading? Why must it be an idea? Why couldn't us humans automatically default into that? Why couldn't it just be the way things naturally are? :/

  19. Rumi said one should care about three things before speaking
    1. What we say should be necesssry
    2. It should be true
    3. It shouldn't hurt somebody
    If these things are not being met then it's better to stay silent because again Rumi said " silence is the language of God!"

  20. I have this fantasy that the real motive to mr. bald have done this lecture is because he wanted to make the crowd act like idiots

  21. Right off the back of my mind, 2 things mostly overlooked these days that are paramount too achieve this are:
    -indicate good will towards the listener
    -know & work towards the listeners' incentives

  22. I can just imagine a bunch of people applying for a job position, all gathered outside the boss' office going:
    "RRRRRRRRR"
    "BA! BA! BA! BA!"
    "WEEEEEYYOOOOOOOWEEE"

  23. I am guilty all of those but lying. I don't lie, I will always tell the truth. That's why people don't like me. My husband says sometimes I need to lie, it saves people's feelings. If I someone asks me a question, and I don't want to tell them. I will not lie, I just say I don't want to talk about it. It works, try it.

  24. Oh good lord, I can already see people in the office before meetings like "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

  25. Oi, as I frustratingly struggled to keep from furrowing my brows while simultaneously attempting to locate that crucial but missing body-part, notably a penis, on my female body, I made it barely through "Embellishment"(which I refer to in TrumpsterAmerica as Absurd-Hyperbole) holding back giggling, before I completely lost it guffawing as I delved into- "Dogmatism" , it's numerous sub-categories, my favorite- 'Lying'. In a word, to describe my confusion, "incredulity". To be fair and respectful to the Speaker, I put it on "Hold" to check the date – I always assume that everything is current. Ah, 6/2014, right, Situation Aware (B.A.D). Our Speaker is describing truisms, his list of many points are accurate, albeit most of them based upon his personal experiences holding conversations in non-USA countries with mature adults. Viewing the date then comparing it with today's 8/12/19 New World Order in TrumpsterAmerica, I'd been comparing it to my personal experience : The inability to hold any sensible conversation with a Red Hat. In fact , finding a mature adult, holding a sensible conversation with any of them, finishing an entire sentence without being personally insulted, is the equivalent of Finding Waldo- ain't gonna happen, Waldo is in Deep undercover. My bad for not checking the date as there is no way this lecture would have made sense at a Trumpster Rally (he used multi-syllabic words) or for that matter, at any gathering: Not in in 2019 TrumpsterAmerica, nor in BrexitEngland, nor in parts of Australia, Venezuela, or for that matter, I can't think of any place on earth this would hold water in our Current World Order. Think back to Pre- WWI, Pre-WWII , listen again, listen to Putin, Dump, KJU and you'll understand my confusion – It's not Julian Treasure's error, it's mine.

  26. Check out Interesting content's page! We've got some great expert advice for professionals in the marketing field!

  27. This video make me more confident on myself.Because I don't know no clear techniques for conversations.I am so glad by your videos ,Thanks a lot .I am from India and in learning English.So in above comment is there any mistakes so i am sorry.Forgive plz.

  28. 3:32 okay… Now I can't take this guy seriously any more. The words "your" and "truth" should not be used together because in this rational world there is only the truth, one and only truth, there can't be anything thats "true to you" or "true to him/her" there is just truth. And using that phrase "your truth" tells to me lot of about the person judging by other people who like to use it in their motivational speeches, presentations and arguments. Even though he said not to judge, you also should try to avoid saying things that are just down right false.

  29. What I want to know is how much anxiety plays into this. Because I often find myself saying things different out loud than I would like to because I'm uncomfortable or nervous. Like the pitch goes up or my register goes down and then what I'm trying to say isn't portrayed to that person the way I'd like. It's so weird.

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