How to Become Pope


Let’s say you want to become pope, head
of the Catholic Church and shepherd to over 1 billion faithful. What requirements must you have for this lofty
position: 1) Be a catholic and 2) Be a man. Which seems a little thin… and, while it’s
technically possible for a regular Sunday Catholic to become pope, the last time this
happened was essentially never because becoming pope isn’t like becoming president, you
can’t just run for office. Selecting the pope is an inside job and the men who do it
are the cardinals, and while in theory they can select any catholic man to become pope,
in practice they prefer to elevate one of their own. The last time a non-cardinal become pope was
more than 600 years ago. So, while it isn’t an official requirement, it’s an unofficial,
official requirement. Thus in order to be pope you’ll first need
to be a cardinal and to do that you’ll need to start climbing the catholic corporate ladder.* Step 1: Become a Priest.
Unlike some churches where you can fill out a form online and – poof – ordained. The
Catholic Church treats becoming a priest as a real, you-need-training profession. So you’re
going to require a lot of education: usually a college degree in Catholic Philosophy and
then a masters in divinity. In addition to your educational qualifications,
you must also be: A man
Unmarried, Willing to remain celibate forever.†
If you meet these requirements, and have been working with the church, then you can be officially
ordained as a priest. Which basically means you get to run a Catholic Church, or work
with another priest who does. But, you want onward and to do that you need
to take the job of the man who just made you a priest. Step 2: Become a Bishop
Bishops are a much more select group: while there are about 400,000 catholic priests world
wide, there are only about 5,000 bishops. While priests get churches, bishops get cathedrals,
from which they oversee a number of local churches. To advance your career you must wait for a
bishop in your area to be forced into retirement at age 75 or die sooner than that – freeing
up space for you. But you can’t just apply, because there’s
already a secret list of potential bishops that’s updated every three years based on
who the current bishops in your area think would make a good replacement for one of their
own. To be on that list, in addition to the obvious
requirement of being a pious person, you should also: Be least 35 years old
Have been priest for at least five years Have a doctorate in theology (or equivalent)
Assuming you’re all these things, your name may, or may not be on the secret list. The
local bishops then give that list to the pope’s ambassador for your country, known as the
Apostolic Nuncio. The Nuncio picks three priests from the list,
does in-depth research on them, conducts interviews and selects the one he thinks is best. But it’s not over, because the Nuncio sends
his report to Vatican City and the congress of bishops who work there reviewing potential
appointments from around the world. If the congress of bishops doesn’t like
any of the three candidates, they can tell the Nuncio to start over: returning to the
list, picking another three candidates – doing more research, more interviews and sending
off the results. When the congress of bishops is happy with
one of the Nuncio’s candidates that name is given to the pope, who can reject the candidate
and start the whole process over. It shouldn’t be a surprise that from a vacancy
to a bishop’s replacement can take months and, on occasion, years. But assuming that a bishop in your area retired
(or died) at the right time and you were on the secret list of good priests and the Nuncio
picked you and you made it through his interview and the congress of bishops approved you and
the pope didn’t veto you – poof now you’re now a bishop. But you’re still not on top. The penultimate
promotion is… Step 3: Become a Cardinal.
Despite the fancy name and snazzy red outfits to match cardinals are not the bosses of bishops,
they are bishops, just with an additional title and additional responsibilities – the
most notable of which is electing the new pope.‡ The only way to become a cardinal is to get
to current pope to appoint you as one – and of the 5,000 bishops, only about 200 are ever
cardinals. But let’s say your ambition doesn’t go
unnoticed by the pope and he makes you a cardinal – now it’s time to play the waiting game
for his death or retirement – and with popes death is vastly more likely. When either happens the cardinals under the
age of 80 are brought to Vatican City where they are isolated from the outside world – presumably
by taking away their cell phones and tablets and carrier pigeons. Once sequestered, the
election of a new pope can begin. These elections are never exactly the same
because the ex-pope leaves instructions on how he wants his replacement to be picked,
but in general it works like this: four times a day the cardinals go to the Sistine Chapel
to vote – to become pope one of them must get a 2/3rds majority. There’s a big dose of musent-be-too-hasty
here as the cardinals don’t just raise their hands, or use a modern preferential voting
system, but instead write down one name on a piece of paper stand before the alter and
say a long latin phrase, before officially casting the ballot. Once all the cardinals have done this, the
votes are counted and then burned. This why TV news stations covering the election
of the pope use super-modern-hd-livestreaming cameras to look at a chimney. If the smoke
is black, no new pope. The high victory threshold, and tediously
slow voting process, is why it takes so long to elect a new pope. It’s usually at least
two weeks of voting four times a day six days a week (with one day a week for prayer) but
the record length is three years. Assuming you, eventually, win the support
of your fellow cardinals, you have one final thing to do before becoming pope: pick yourself
a new name. There is no formal rule, you can name yourself
anything you like but it’s tradition to take the name of a previous pope. Upon your acceptance of the job, the final
ballots are burned clean to make the smoke white and announce to the world that a new
pope has been selected. So that’s the career path: be born into
the right half of the population, become one of a billion catholics, then one of 400,000
priests, then one of 5,000 bishops, then one of 200 cardinals, wait for the current pope
to die or retire, and convince 2/3rds of your fellow cardinals to select you as the one,
the only pope.

100 thoughts on “How to Become Pope”

  1. this is how the #666 pope will be looking; blacked-out-evil-eyes #billieeilish 'bury a friend' song with white skin clad in pope's regalia even his cap. I n I promise! #theLORDshows​

  2. To become a pope. First of all, you have to be THE UGLIEST SOB around. Secondly, you have to be a shrewed, lying bastard. Thirdly, you have to be the phoniest, smilingest snake. Then and only then are you qualified to be a pagan pope.

  3. How to become pope???

    1.Worship Mary instead of Christ.

    2.Never Read your Bible.

    3.Commit Idolatry.

    4.Commit Necromancy.

    5.Beleive Everything
    Catholicism tells you.

    6.Don't beleive the Bible.

    7.Engage in Papan Worship.

    8.Make Vatican City more important than Actual Heaven.

    9. Rub the Feet of Peters Statue in St. Peter's Basilica.

    10. Be Corrupt.

    11. Love 💸💶💷💵

    12. Molest Alter Boys.

    13. Con your way to Rome.

    14. Get appointmentsin the Vatican.

    15. Politic your way into being a Cardinal.

    16. Be a GREAT LIAR and Shark.

    17. Get OLD.

    18. Wait for The Pope to pass away, then bribe the other cardinals into choosing you as Supreme Pontiff.

    That's pretty much all you have to do to lead the most useless and corrupt MANMADE "religion" on Earth.
    But beware if you do, for The REAL GOD in heaven HATES Idol worship And He HATES ANYTHING that is ANTICHRIST.

    Good Luck.

    UNFILTERED UNAPOLOGETIC TRUTH🕇🇺🇸

  4. How to become The Doctor.
    1. Be a UK citizen
    2. Audition
    If the showrunner likes you, maybe you’ll be cast.
    Tips:
    1. Be a good actor (take acting lessons)
    2. Act in notable roles before
    3. Act as characters like The Doctor
    4. Act in shows run by the showrunner
    5. Act in Doctor Who before
    6. Kiss the showrunner’s but

  5. Follow a religion which just made it up as it went along and tried to assert total dominance on the world only to fail spectacularly.

  6. 1. join a secret society, then poof sign contract with devil poof then your popr and shiney popey mobile arrives!

  7. con a lot of money out fools make people feel guilty about sex and con the poor and homeless people and human race

  8. calling the pope a 'shepherd' is a bit inappropriate. and that means you think catholics are sheep too? Why dont you make videos about topics you can talk positively about?

  9. The Truth That No Protestant Wants to Face ~https://youtu.be/lw8InFPMTiM

    One God
    One Christ
    One Bible
    One Church
    40,000 and growing Protestant denominations and cults.

    The Truth That No Protestant Wants to Face ~https://youtu.be/lw8InFPMTiM

  10. Im not catholic so this was informative. I think you could have a little more reverence in the way you handled the video. You are talking about a lot of people's religion.

  11. You may form an all male alliance where all the male members have never lust after women because they like men. You like women and that's a sin and the wages of sin are well known.

  12. You must have for knowledge that its a sin to lust after women because women were married and the marriage age was 12. An ideal priest would have never lusted after women and must be interested in men because they have no interest in women.

  13. You must know the meaning of bore the sins of many. God impregnated the virgin Mary when she was age 12 to 14 before marriage. The son of God was born of premarital sex. That was the sin.

  14. If you are not straight then you could become a priest because Jesus Christ also never lusted after women or showed too much interested in women. The 12 men action is where its was going.

  15. You must know that the virgin Mary face persecution for being pregnant before narriage. Who's husband did she sleep with to commit adultery. They married multiple wives back in the day. She would have been stoned to death had it not been for her wise mouth.

  16. 50% of being born male
    2.5% becoming a priest
    8% becoming a bishop
    2.5% becoming a cardinal
    .5% becoming pope

    So everyone has a 0.5701741875 percent of becoming pope

  17. The Catholic Church needs a 3d Vatican Concillion in order to get rid of all the left wingers in the current Church and to reform back to before 1965. Strict, disciplined and good

  18. 1:48 FUCK THEM!!!! I CAN BE A 12 YEAR OLD BISHOP IF I FUCKING WANT, AND YOU WILL MAKE ME ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM DAMN TIRED OF ADULTS GETTING TO DO STUFF AND KIDS NOT BEING ABLE TO DO THOSE EXACT SAME FUCKING THINGS!!!! DO YOU KNOWS HOW FUCKING LONG IT TAKES TO BE AN ADULT?!?! I'M NOT EVEN A TEENAGER, I'M SO CLOSE TO BEING ONE, MY FUCKING SISTER GETS TO BE ONE WHEN I DON'T, MY BIRTHDAY IS AFTER SCHOOL, SO I MIGHT HAVE KILLED MYSELF BY THEN, I HAD TO BREAK UP WITH GEORGE GREENER BECAUSE HE WAS OLDER THAN ME, AND EVEN WHEN I AM A TEENAGER, I'M STILL NOT AN ADULT, AND EVEN WHHEN I AM A MOTHERFUCKING ADULLT, I HAVE TO WAIT ALL THE WAY UNTIL I'M 35 YEARS OLD?!?! 35!!!! FUCKING!!!! YEARS!!!! I AM 12 YEARS OLD, AND 35 IS JUST 1 YEAR LESS THAN BEING 3 FUCKING TIMES MY AGE!!!! THAT'S 23 YEARS!!!! Not days. Mot weeks. Not months. BUT FUCKING YEARS!!!! KIDS CAN AND WILL BE IMPORTANT, TOO, EVEN IF THEIR ASS HAS TO TURN FUCKING RED FROM BEING BEAT BY ME TO UNDERSTAND THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. 1. Be a Catholic
    2. Be a man
    3. Become a Cardinal
    4. Misinterpret Christ's statement about giving Peter the "Keys of the Kingdom"
    5. Elevate yourself to the level of God (i.e. Vicarius Filii Dei)
    6. Ignore the teachings of the Bible
    7. Give great authority to the ruminations of your mind
    8. Persecute those who disagree with you.

    Did I miss anything?

  20. Well that's simple. Get into filthy pornography. Pedophilia money laundering, keeping the good people of this world in fear and you're half way there……..Also, worship Satan.

  21. That isn't anythign to do with what cathlicism is. Or rome. Muslims took over and then fight there own children, its the same idiotsthat jsut machetti a 90 year olds face last week. So how the serpent works in linguistic lies and neutering all threats. takes money. if Im and I have been constructing civillisation for a few thousand years, what is really going on… So this thign here is so backwards.. Mithra etc and other groups took over… Rome is ba better cilvisation simply by experience… One should leave a house filled with errors.

  22. This is the video that was recommended to me the most in youtube. I remember it being recommended 4 5 years ago, and then every month it popped up again, until today, when I decided to actually watch it. Nice video

  23. Seniors,while Jews can live in all
    over the world fortunate in their
    beloved birth lands,why Israel invites them to emigrate there and throw Palestinians out of their own?!

  24. Or how to be totally wrong lie and you so far from knowing what you think you know you therising sun worshipping idiots and think you smart it's unbelievable idiot the church and reliogon mostly wrong piece of truth in all . Two become one you know about like you know beyond guilt . You know you lieall you know and isall different exsplanations of one thing as the Dow is ass reliogon are Buddha yet you still guess you k know . Leaves you Injust dishonest lost inself screwing self strangers to self have fun Injust morons . Lie a lieweather you know it or not still al lie . If when don't know you defend lie ass truth is idiot . Ifr refuse to look yet see is lie if can't double check before defending is lies you I just others defending . You clueless about reliogon or the father yet believe that you smart. Go pray the suncomes tomorrow morons you trick yourself into believing they the idiots way you didn't see the rest of the story.

  25. You must get 66.666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666667%of the votes to win

  26. The office
    Bruh so Micheal is a priest
    Jim at one point co priest
    Ryan a bishop
    David Wallace a cardinal
    CEO of Dundee Mifllin pope

  27. JESUS COMES SOON, EVERYTHING THAT IS IN THE BIBLE IS TRUE, MAKE SURE THAT NO ONE DECEIVES YOU BECAUSE MANY WILL COME IN THE NAME OF JESUS AND MANY MISLEAD UNCLEANNESS. TRUE JESUS WILL APPEAR GLOBALLY SO THAT THE WHOLE WORLD SEES IT, EVERY HUMAN EYE, NOT LOCALLY, SO AS TO DELIVER GOD'S WILL AND TO SPREAD THIS GOOD NEWS TO ALL AMEN.

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