How To Become A Master In The Art of Public Speaking (Part 1 of 2) | Eric Edmeades

I want to tell you something real quick before we jump in a friend of mine called me in the middle of a speaking tour that I was doing in Europe and and said Eric you need to come to Poland there's a big marketing conference and they need you to come and speak as a favor and I said I'm on a tour I don't have any time at all and they said well do you have any days off and I said well I have one day off just to recharge my batteries but I'm speaking every single day and they said well what's the day off you have and I said it's this day and they go well that's the day they want you to come and I said no I said no problem it's a problem I'm not doing it and then another friend of mine called me and he turned out to be doing some consulting work for the same marketing company and he called me and said Eric they really need you to be there would you do it as a personal favor to me so now I have two of my friends asking me to do them a favor to go to this event in Poland and I'm not interested in doing it but now two friends have asked me I agreed to do it so I fly off to Poland I get to the airport I get to my hotel and they tell me that a car is gonna come pick me up at my hotel and when the car picks me up at the hotel it'll take me to the conference center I'm supposed to be on stage at 12:00 and they tell me the car is gonna pick me up at 11 that's not ideal you know it's not ideal but look they're running the show I do what they tell me the car punk comes to pick me up at 11:00 but they don't send a car you understand they don't send like a car they send a taxi now I'm not snobby I'm okay to go in a taxi the trouble is is that the taxi when we get there doesn't know where to take me so like we get to the conference center and it's one of these giant conference centers where there's halls and some of the halls are bigger than this entire building and I don't know which Hall even I have to go to and it takes us about 35 minutes to get there so now I have to be onstage in like 20 minutes and the taxi just drops me and it's like I I could be it could be a 20 minute walk away I just don't know and so I'm running around trying to figure this out thinking why did I do this favor for my friends I should be relaxing right now I should be recharging my batteries I should be put on my own oxygen mask is that true absolutely so I finally find the hall I run in and find the hall at run in and there's a registration area and the registration area says like regular tickets VIP tickets and speakers so which lineup should I go to clearly but I go to that lineup there's nobody in it but there's nobody working at that part of the table so the woman who's right there working at the VIP section I say hi I'm a speaker I need to register egos oh that person's on a break just joined the line for the VIPs well there's like six people in that line and I've been watching her and it takes her about four minutes per person to register them and and I'm like I go okay I can do that but it's taking you four minutes per person to register and and and that's gonna take you 24 minutes and I'm supposed to be onstage in 8 minutes what do you think we should do she goes maybe I should register you right now so she registers me and then gets a woman to come over and the woman comes over to take me to the main hall where the conference is we get over there I'm like I have to pretty much walk onto the stage we get into the room it's this huge theatre style room with this elevated seating and the control booths at the top with people in them but the one thing was missing the audience there was like nobody in there there's like 12 or 15 people and and by the way were they all sitting right here no two over there one over there one more over there like they're scattered around and I turn and I go where where are the people you know I'm here doing you a favor where are the people and she goes oh they're they're expecting you they'll walk in once you get started I'm like really and I know that they have all the networking area and the display booths and then there are people out there there's 1200 people there but they're not in here and I go well when did the conference start the speaking part and she says this morning I said oh are we on a break right now and she goes no it's happening right now there's a woman on the stage I'm standing down here and there's the stage it's much higher and I that's the first moment I look up and that's the moment I realized that there's a woman on the stage speaking I've been in the room for five minutes and I couldn't even notice and neither fifteen people the 15 people are checking on Facebook they're looking for the bottom of the Facebook wall have any of you found it anybody they're looking they're looking for it they're gonna injure their thumb looking for the bottom of the Facebook wall and so that's when I realized that I've there the woman is on the stage and I'm going there's 15 people I I want to leave I do not want to be here I'm doing these people a favor I'm not charging a fee it's not III don't have programs and stuff in Poland to be marketing like I'm really there's a favor and I'm I just want to go but I've agreed to be there so I'm gonna go and go well where's the microphone you know I'm scheduled to speak for three and a half hours and and I'm frustrated and I go get where's the microphone and she goes it's the guy over there now the the room was much bigger than this room much wider and the guy with the microphone was way over at the other side of the room and I go well don't you think you should we should get the microphone on and she goes yeah yeah and as I say that this woman finishes nobody claps because they didn't know she started and then and then the emcee goes up and starts reading out my introduction I don't have a microphone and I'm like she says yeah the guys coming he's on his way and and now if any of you climb Kilimanjaro anybody yeah like you will know the word Polly Polly it means slowly this is the way that you walk up Kilimanjaro and this is the way the microphone guy is walking and I'm Way over there there's no way he's gonna get to me in time and as he gets to about here the woman goes and please welcome to the stage Eric head meets nobody claps because they couldn't barely hear her and and I have no microphone so I have to grab the handheld microphone jump up on the stage and I walk out and I look around the audience and I cannot believe I'm here III am it for the first time in my speaking career I am dreading being on stage I I don't want to be there I just want to go to my hotel room have a nice bath relax read a book not be here and I look out at these 15 people and I'm standing there looking at them they're looking at me and we're all wondering what's gonna happen and I suddenly think to myself what would I do if one of my clients one of my students asked me what to do in this situation like what if one of my students was on the stage they took out their phone and they go Erik I'm on stage and this is everything that's happened and I don't know what to do right now and I would know exactly what did I go I know what I tell them to do but I'm not doing it just I'm not doing it okay and then and then I thought oh god that's not who I am as a teacher I really I really try to practice what I preach so if I think they should do it I'm gonna have to do it and I stop and I go all right guys by the way a handheld microphone how much does one of those things weigh it depends on how long you have to hold it for three and a half hours the thing gets pretty heavy so I'm starting off can't believe this then I go alright I think that in order for me to help you I'm gonna have to prove to you that I know something about marketing you came here to learn about marketing and there's nobody in the room that doesn't say good things about me does it do I have their attention at this point yeah they're kind of going wow that's an interesting thing to say and I go and I think the only way that I'm gonna be able to get you to hear the important information that I have for you today is if I can get this room full of people if I can get this room full of people then you'll probably pay attention for the whole three and a half hours isn't that true and now are they intrigued now some like so I'm gonna do that and you're gonna help me and they're like what what and I said this is what's can happen in a moment I'm going to count I'm gonna count down from three and when I get to one you're all gonna jump up by this point there's now about 25 people in in 1,200 seats and I go I'm gonna count from 3 down to 1 and when I get to 1 you're all going to jump up and you're all gonna clap and laugh and scream really loudly and and and then the people will come in and and here's the thing I know some of you are thinking I'm not doing that and the reason you're thinking I'm not doing that is that you think you're gonna look stupid but the problem is the other 14 15 20 whatever the other people are gonna do it so when you don't do it you're gonna look stupid are you ready I said they said yes and I said alright now the reason I'm telling you this is there are some people out there that think that the phone call they're on right now they think that the conversation they're having about the Guns & Roses concert is more important that what's happening in this room and I'm telling you that it's not and so when I count down from 3 to 1 we're gonna do the exact same thing does that sound good all right I walked up in front I said let's do it 1 or sorry 3 2 1 go [Applause] amazing holy cow I can't believe it I don't even know what to think of it that's so amazing [Applause] alright we'll see if we got their attention so are you guys ready for some fun awesome I am about to share with you one of my favorite things in the whole world to share with you I have devoted this part of my life to giving people the gifts that I believe are the most valuable in the world I have been honored over the last three weeks that we've been here in Tollin to have people walking up to me all the time and telling me the stories about how their life has been transformed transformed from a health perspective people are telling me about the weight that they've lost and the pain and symptoms that are gone that their children have even you know I have had people come up to me and go after a month of watching your videos every single day my kids started getting curious and now they want to change their food habits and so on and I think one of the greatest gifts in the world you can give anybody is their relationship with food is that true and you know who's trying to take away your relationship with food the entire time the food industry and so that's my job is to undo what they're doing and I love doing it and one of the other gifts that I really love to give people is the gift of communication the gift of being able to communicate your thoughts effectively persuasively influentially and the challenges is that our society has done everything it can not on purpose just the way it is to train that out of us and and and I think that that makes life a lot harder to live I think some of you find yourselves having an intense conversation or a negotiation and every now and again you walk away from that conversation and you think to yourself afterward I wish I'd said this who's had that feeling I'd like it to go away I'd like you to not have that feeling I'd like you to say the things that you want to say I'd like you to express yourself the way you want express yourself I suspect that if you do that it will change your relationship with you it'll change your significant relationships your romantic relationships it'll change your relationships with your parents it'll change your relationships professionally it'll change everything and for those of you are interested in getting an incredible professional advantage I'm talking the big professional or business advantage possible what we're gonna do today is going to be unbelievably valuable and I'm gonna give you some of the sort of theory and science behind this now this is gonna become this is going to be shocking for some of you especially those of you that are younger there was a time before the internet I know I know and and then and then this will be even more shocking to some of you that are a little older than that there was a time before television can you imagine what did families do they sat around the radio no kidding families used to sit around the radio and so what's really shocking is there was even a time before the radio and one of the families do then they sat around the fire they sat around the fire and I have been privileged to sit around that exact fire and what I mean by that is that in my research for wild fit I have had numerous visits with the hodza Bushmen and the hodza Bushmen lived very much the way most of our ancestors did for most of our history and they sit around the fire and I want you to think about something if you're sitting around my fire a hundred thousand years ago and I share a story with you I share a story with you and it's entertaining and it's engaging and it makes you think and maybe it makes you laugh but in that story I tell you about the time that these big white rhinos tried to kill me because they really did not kidding you it really happened to me and I'm standing there and these big white rhinos are running toward me and what I knew about white rhinos is that they don't have good eyesight in fact they barely can see they can smell and they can hear and so the reason they're running toward me is that they could smell me and and I knew as they're running toward me and let me tell you something rhinos are bigger than you think have any of you guys been in that cafe with the big white rhino head on the wall that is to scale that is what a big male white rhino that's the size of its head then you add the body and they're way faster than you would think and when you of them are running toward you here this is basically how it feels in your feet they're running toward you and you're doing this because they're shaking the ground what does every inch of my being want to do when they're running toward me run but I know that if I run they're gonna hear my footsteps and that's gonna give them the ability to follow me and if I if I let them follow me with those big horns I'm gonna get some interesting piercings not good right and so instead of running I stood there and stared them down and waited and they got about 15 feet from me and they stopped and they turned around and walked back into the bush and then they got curious again when the wind shifted directly they came running again at me and then they got about ten feet three meters and then they stopped again and they walked away if I had run I would be dead today or certainly I would have interesting piercings one way or the other and so imagine that we're sitting around the fire and I share that story with you and a week later you're off in the bush picking berries doing whatever you want to be doing and two white rhinos come running at you and you suddenly remember oh my god I'm supposed to just stand still and you stand still and it saves your life whose fire do you want to sit around for the rest of your life do you understand this is why we have this thing called the stage effect for millions of years your survival and your ability to thrive was completely dependent upon the stories being told around your campfire and was the most valuable thing there was nothing could be more valuable than you sitting around the fire and hearing the stories and and you started listening to these stories when you were two and three years old and by the way can two year olds understand even though they can't speak is can they understand everything they understand everything the other day I've got my little girl here in Thailand with me and my little boy who's not so little my boy is 20 years old and my little girls two years old and so they don't get to spend much time with each other and so they're hanging out and I go to Zoey I go Zoey do you love Daniel and she goes and I go Daniel is your brother and she goes and I go that means Daniel that I'm Daniel's daddy too and she goes she understands it all and so we're sitting around the fire listening to these stories and they are making it possible for us to survive the most difficult circumstances and they're making it possible for us to thrive in the most difficult circumstances and so our DNA loves stories that's why Hollywood will spend 200 million dollars making it do you understand that think about that they will spend 200 million dollars creating a story and they won't begin to see any revenue on that story until after the two hundred million dollars is spent it's risky but they know that we like stories they like we like stories because it is the primary operating system of the body and once you begin to recognize that stories are the best way to write information in then you can look at history and recognize that it's completely true every great revolution every great revolution whether it's a political revolution a war uprising a technological revolution has been preceded by great speeches in great oration I remember reading that Roosevelt president Roosevelt was trying to pass some legislation through the US Congress and none of the congressmen would vote for this because it had to do with changing their lives it was legislation about congressmen and they didn't want to change it and he he was getting nowhere and then he recognized that the world had changed and he could speak directly to the people radio town halls and so he started doing that he started giving speeches and and do you know what's amazing is when they put that legislation in front of Congress it passed with only three dissenting votes because he'd gone directly to the people speaking is one of the most powerful things we can create in the world and by the way can powerful things be used for both good and bad Adolf Hitler gave eight thousand speeches he knew exactly what he was doing he wrote in his book Mein Kampf many years before World War two he wrote in that book essentially that the microphone was more powerful than the pen that speaking was more powerful than writing that if you really wanted to stimulate people if you really wanted to change their hearts and minds you did it with great stories you've read it with great speeches speaking is one of the most powerful forces there is in our society it creates an advantage in business and your professional life that is far past any other advantage here let's test out a few things are you aware that in American corporate world and I imagine this is probably fairly consistent in the westernized civilized corporate world in the American corporate world people make slightly more money for each inch they are taller did you know that they actually make slightly more money they're more inclined to get the promotion they're more inclined to make the sale slightly more taller and then by the way is there is there a jet is there a gender pay gap issue yes and and so there are all kinds of little tweaks in our society that are little optimizations the gender gap a gap how big is that these days they say they say it's about 10% it's about 10% but if you remove the fact that for example it came out do you guys know that uber uber pays male drivers more than they pay female drivers yeah okay this is a way statistics lie female drivers choose not to drive as many hours and they try they choose not to drive during peak hours and they choose not to drive in dangerous neighborhoods and so uber doesn't pay them any less whoever pays them exactly the same they choose to do things differently women choose not to take jobs where they die women and men die in the workforce something like 7 times more often than women do and so when you remove all that stuff the gender pay gap closes a little it's still there but it closes a little did that make sense but these tiny little professional advantages that height or maleness or or whatever they're tiny but the most massive massive advantage you can give yourself in the corporate world and in the entrepreneur space is to be able to speak if an inch of extra height can make you 0.01% more income being a speaker being comfortable sharing your ideas being influential in the way you communicate can triple or more your income it obliterates all other advantages it is the most powerful thing you can do for your professional life the problem is we don't because we're afraid and the crazy part of it is not one of you was born afraid not one of you now because I understand this whole fear what we did before you guys came in here this morning is we took 15 envelopes 15 envelopes and we wrote in those envelopes a few words a couple of questions one envelope one word one question and then we stuck those envelopes under don't check we stuck the envelopes underneath the chairs and don't think we didn't notice the beanbags we stuck them underneath and in a minute when I say go you're gonna check underneath the chair underneath the beanbag and you're gonna see if you got an envelope if you got an envelope I want you to check in with what happens in your body and here's why because if you got the envelope you must not open it you will simply stand up you will walk over here you will come up on the stage and then I'm gonna have a handheld microphone and I'm gonna hand you the handheld microphone and then you're gonna tear the envelope open and you're going to see the word or the question and you're going to speak for three minutes about that topic in front of this audience I will tell you that some of the words some of the words one of the words is orgasm another word another word that's in there is brexit another word that's in there Donald Trump so who's ready go ahead and check okay stop it there are no envelopes [Applause] now the reason I do that did you find an envelope I do sometimes envelope so they might be stuck under there the reason I did that is there were a different there are a variety of different emotions that came up in the room now I want a totally honest answer here please don't worry about looking good I want a totally honest answer there were a few people in this room that were absolutely genuinely excited about this idea who were they Wow welcome to mine Vail University because it is not like that out in the rest of the world that was a good 15 percent of the room in the rest of the world in a room of this size it would be one or two people and they would almost always be one of my clients that's how it is how it is how many people were like a little excited but also your stomach was doing a little backflip thinking routine okay all right and how many were thinking I'm not the least bit excited and I feel like I might actually vomit who was in the category and then how many of you are thinking please no no envelope I won't do it anybody and then there was a couple of you they thought if there's an envelope I'm not pulling it out I know and so what I want you to know is that I used to be in the category of that if I was sitting there in that chair and I found and I reached under and I touched an envelope I would have immediately pulled my hand back and pretended I didn't have an envelope I kid you not I was so terrified of public speaking that if you called me on a Friday if you called me on a Friday and you asked me to do a talk no if you called me on Monday and you asked me to do a talk on Friday I would absolutely have said no without question I don't care what the topic how big the audience was I would have said no and when I said no I would then have started feeling sick and I would have continued to feel sick on Tuesday and on Wednesday and on Thursday and I would have woken up on Friday morning feeling sick and I said no I don't even want to think what would happen if I said yes that's how terrified I was but you know what's so important about this not one person in this room was born afraid of communicating not one person in this room was born afraid of public speaking nobody no matter how fearful you are of it today no matter how nervous you might get about it today not one person in this room was born afraid of public speaking nobody it's really important for you to understand that can you imagine what would happen if a baby came out afraid of public speaking how would it ever get its diaper changed how would it get food what happens is at first when babies are born we are so thrilled by their noises aren't we baby noises I mean aren't they incredible I I get home if I miss Zoey's bedtime like if I miss it occasionally I come home and she's already in bed I want to go wake her up you can imagine my wife's reaction when I say that I'm gonna go away I'm I will never go wake her up I'm gonna go wake her up no but you know in the morning now when she wakes up she wakes up and immediately she starts talking and she talks in some strange mix of English and Spanish and now Estonian and it's beautiful and we love it and most parents do but then there comes a point in time after the age of three and four where the talking isn't so great where you're on a plane and the child is being too loud and that's where you're trying to go shh-shh indoor voice think before you speak children should be seen and not heard and it begins and almost every person in this room was subjected to at least some of this stuff when they were a kid and that's where your apprehension of communicating that's where your apprehension of speaking came from because social conditioning started putting a cocoon around you and started telling you to control yourself to not be so excited is it true and and and then we continue to live with that fear we continue to live with that and then it gets even worse because we go to school and one of the things that teachers forget teachers forget what it's like to think like a child they do look guys when children are born they have no meanings they don't know what stuff means and so their entire job for the rest of their life is to assess meanings oh I have pain in my stomach from and when I cry I get fed look at that when I cry somebody sticks to move in my mouth wait a minute why did I stop doing that anyway but the fact is that the children make a meaning they make a meaning and and and then they continue to make more meanings and the problem is is that some of the meanings that we make when were children they become rules that we then keep I shared I spoke it to the teens on the teen track here at Marvel Universe's I spoke to the teens I told them a really embarrassing story I'm gonna share it with you one day I was eating an apple I was eating this Apple I was about six years old and then I decided that I needed to use the washroom so I went into the washroom in our house I went in and closed the door put the Apple up on the shelf went in and did my business I won't act that part finished up what flushed washed hands grabbed the Apple took a bite open the door and walked out and my mom was standing there now think about this for my mother's perspective all she heard was toilet flush and son walking out with apple in his hand that he was eating while he was in the bathroom how does mom feel about this not good right so my mom goes Eric you can't do that and I said what shows you can't eat an apple in the bathroom I said why not she goes it's dangerous and then she got distracted and when often did mom stuff and I'm sitting there with it's dangerous why is it dangerous and this was this was when I was six so this was a few years BG before Google and so I couldn't let go why is eating an apple while you go to the toilet dangerous I I couldn't do that i I the question was just in my head and you remember like back in the days before you could just ask the universe for the question like you did you ever have that thing where you had a question bouncing around in your head bouncing on and it's like the rest of your life kind of got filtered through that question that's what happened to me and so I was sitting out with some friends one day and we're in a restaurant and and we have this straws you know you're drinking out of a straw and we were doing like kids do where you block off the top of the straw and you pull the liquid up and then you you drop the liquid in right it's physics basic physics it's fun and then and then I was doing it and suddenly I was like oh wait if you block off the bottom of this draw the liquid won't come out if you block off the bottom and the top too with liquid won't come out if you block off the top but you open the bottom that's the bizarre part right you block off the top that it won't run out the bottom maybe we're the same maybe maybe the danger is that if you swallow and open the top at the same time that you poop and open the bottom you'll just fall out I figured it out she's right it's bloody dangerous I won't be doing that again I'm telling you for months after that I could be chewing gum just chewing gum and I go to the bathroom we'll get rid of that gum wouldn't want to have an accident you know where I slipped out of myself and so children children are doing stuff like that all the time is it true and so we forget that and so you're in an earring it in a class and you're teaching if you're a teacher and you want to teach the children a bunch of things you want to teach them the curriculum but you also want to teach them how to learn is it true and so you're teaching the class and you recognize that one of the students JB is just not paying attention all distracted by her recent nuptials she's just not paying any attention to my class and so how am I going to teach her the lesson to pay attention how am I going to teach her I'm gonna call on her you see what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna teach something like I'm gonna teach the great story of the war of 1812 most of you that are from America have no idea about this war but this is where America decided to invade Canada and take over they invaded Canada with numbers seven to one seven to one they invaded Canada and by the way Canada burnt the White House did you hear Donald Trump talking about this recently the war did not go so well for the United States and I could teach you all about how they invaded Canada in the war of 1812 and then at some point during the lesson I am as the teacher gonna go I have some questions when did the war of 1812 happen and a number of students are going to raise their hands which students are going to raise their hands the ones that have been paying attention and know the answer teachers will typically not call on the children that have raised their hands the teachers when they ask you a question like that it's just the poll they just want to know how many of you got it and so if you raise your hand they know you got it if you don't raise your hand you're asking for trouble I figured this out young I taught the kids this by the way I taught them a trick I had in school I'll teach it to you I went to school and I hated that because I didn't like school very much because I would typically pick stuff up on the first pass and do teacher stop on the first pass know they teach it again and again and again and it would drive me crazy so I got into meditating they called it daydreaming now I know it's meditating but I I got into meditating and I would be doodling and meditating out the window and then the teacher would call on me and I didn't hear anything and then I would feel like an idiot and I'd feel stupid and so I learned that if you do this in September you can give yourself freedom for the rest of the year what you do in September is you pretend to meditate you pretend to daydream you pretend that you're not paying any attention you doodle but you're really listening and then she goes what is h2o and you don't raise your hand you pretend you're not paying any attention and then and then she goes Eric and you go water you just do that two or three times in September you're free for the rest of the year free pass now the trouble is is that when children do this or sorry when teachers do this what they're trying to do is teach JB the lesson they're going when was the war of 1812 JB doesn't raise her hand JB when was war of 1812 JB wasn't paying attention now in that moment is she maybe gonna get startled if she gets startled what kind of chemicals is her body gonna produce cortisol adrenaline even and if she produces chordal on cortisol adrenaline here's something a lot of people don't talk about but the minute you start producing cortisol and adrenaline you step back in time in your brain you go to the more primitive parts of your brain the more scared you are the more primitive you go the idea is is if you're scared you become pessimistic it's safer that way you see if you're walking along in Africa and you suddenly see some lion tracks that'll startle you tell me I it's happened to me it'll definitely startled you and in that moment every rock that could be a lion starts looking like a lion is that is that true is that safer than mistaking a lion for a rock of course it is and so when we have some adrenaline and cortisol we become slightly more pessimistic and we lose touch with our proper brain and so in that moment even if she knew when the war of 1812 started the answer is in the question after all she might not know it is that possible and so I go JB when it's over of 1812 and she's like 1814 and now she's just done something called public speaking in front of one of the most difficult audiences in the world children children are the toughest audience ever children are not nice come on I know I'm not talking about your kids I'm not talking about my kids I'm talking about the rest of them they're not nice when when our JB's class mates going to remember or when are they gonna forget that she made this mistake when never JV goes off to Palo Alto she starts the next big comm company she's a billionaire she flies to her 25th anniversary high school or anniversary she arrives in a private jet limousine picks her up she's got all the jewelry and the cool stuff and the great clothes and she shows up better reunion and she walks in the door and they go look guys it's 1814 because they're never gonna forget but the real problem is is that the teacher intended to teach JB the lesson pay attention in my class but the lesson JB got that day was public speaking is freakin terrifying and for the rest of her life maybe she's nervous every time somebody hands her microphone every time somebody asked her to do a toast or prepare a conversation and this is what's happened to so many of you as well at various points I will tell you that I was so so terrified that it would make me sick to even think about speaking but the transition I've gone through over the last 20 years has completely changed my life because of the stage effect I'm gonna share some things with you when I was 15 years old I was homeless and when I say homeless I should point out that I was living in a place called Edmonton and it was winter now some of you live in places that you think of as cold but you've not been to Edmonton I will tell you that in Edmonton in the winter time it is absolutely routine for it to be minus 30 degrees minus 40 degrees and for those of you that are Americans that are wondering what that means in Fahrenheit minus 40 is the same in both it means fatally cold and and if I look at my life from that starting point if I look at my life from being a homeless teenager on the streets of Edmonton Alberta to the things that I've achieved in my life since and I'll give you some examples some of you know I I was invited one day to do a tour of the original Industrial Light and Magic movie studios for those who are not familiar with Industrial Light and Magic it is the special effects shop that George Lucas created to make Star Wars and one day I was offered a chance to go do a tour of these studios and when I got there I found out some interesting things that George Lucas had sold the studios to some private guys that were running it for about three years and they weren't running it very well and they were trying to raise money from investors for all kinds of cool movie technology and 3d technology and and and I watched one of their investor pitches and it was atrocious I mean it was bad it was I mean it was like it was the don't invest in my company prepare a presentation it was terrible and so I'm sitting down with everybody after it and I'm not saying anything because I'm just a friend I'm just a guest here and then Gavin my friend says Erik what are your thoughts on the way we should do this and I'm like Gavin I don't want to offer my thoughts I'm not from the movie industry I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't want to do this I wasn't nervous of public speaking you see I was just a I just didn't want to crash in on their party and then they said well why did you know yeah yeah Erik what's your opinion and I said do you guys really want the truth like do you really want the truth and many of you will know this about me how many of you have been to any of my seminars anybody am i nice I'm not nice and what I mean by that is that you might ask me a question and the first thing I'm gonna ask you do you really want to know and so that's what I said to them do you really want to know and they go yeah we really want to know I said well the presentation sucked I mean it was bad it was really bad and I and they said why and I said well because of this and this and this and this and then at the end of my talk I just I braced myself because I basically expected them to kick me out and they said we have another group of investors coming in this afternoon would you give the presentation no problem I like I thought it was a big problem I what do you mean and I'm not kidding you two hours later I'm standing on a stage in the George Lucas theatre a hundred and forty seating private theater where thx sound was debuted and I'm standing in a cedar and there investors in there and I'm giving the pitch and then the investors at the end of the pitch here's what they say if we invest will Eric stay and run the company I'm on a tour this is a very you know when you go to the tours and they try to make it really realistic you know they've made this one really realistic in the end the investors decided not to invest and I got talking to my friends and and and I went to the owners one day and I said look I think you guys are in a lot more trouble than you're letting on and here's my offer and I offered to buy the company and they said no and so I flew home and I was living in the Caribbean in Turks and Caicos and I flew home and I got a phone call almost the minute I walked in my front door and they said would you come back and I said why and they go cuz we want to take your offer and I ended up buying the studio and the first thing we did after that was work on avatar and then we worked on Pirates of the Caribbean and transformers and Elysium and and and then from that company we started a really cool company that literally built life-saving technology for the US military we say like literally saved lives and that only happened because I had become comfortable with speaking I got another phone call one day and they said Erik could you come and do a talk here in Vancouver Canada and I said that's great I don't think I've spoken I know I left Canada when I was in my mid-20s and I'd love to come back and do a talking Ken and I gave this talk and at the end of my talk the woman says would you come back and do another talk during the Olympics I'm like sure that'd be great I go home she calls me a few weeks later and she goes Erik I need your help with this event in the Olympics I said sure what do you need she goes well we're setting up it's the City of Vancouver and we're setting up this host program where our every four days of the Olympics we have a different group of people coming in from different industries in the United States so the construction industry the medical industry the legal industry and so on and she says the trouble is is that we've we want to get the people from the visual effects and movie production industry to come and we can't them to show up we just can't get them to show up and and and ice and she why won't they come and I said oh well when you're in the movie industry you just get invited to everything it's just the way it is you just it's the sexy industry and you get invited to everything so you pretty soon you learned you have to say no to cool stuff I'll tell you by the way one of the coolest ways you can accelerate your manifestation in life one of the coolest ways that you can accelerate your ability to manifest incredible financial freedom is to become totally okay with celebrating saying no to cool stuff FOMO can be one of the single biggest blocks to your manifestation fear of missing out can absolutely get in your way of creating an incredible financial future and I'll tell you why think about Richard Branson who wakes up in the morning how many things can he do that day anything he can do anything that day with who with anyone if Richard Branson called any of you in this room and said hey do you want to come out with me you know go for a little boat ride or something tomorrow who's going with Richard Branson he can call anybody at any time and do anything but what that also means is every single day there are 9,000 incredibly cool things that he's not gonna do and he probably had to get okay with that because some of you when you have a fear of missing out it's painful who feels a little pain when they're missing out that pain is something your subconscious mind will do anything it can to avoid and so that includes holding you back from creating those opportunities in the first place so now what you do when you have a fear of missing out is you don't have a fear of missing out you have a new thing it's the celebration of missing out I celebrate when I miss out just a few weeks ago we had our first ever wild fest conference we'd set it up it was done it was booked and then I no kidding got the invitation to go to Richard Branson's private game reserve in South Africa and hang out with him and I had to say no and you know how I said no I said no how cool is it that I have to say no to that does this makes sense and so the problem is these people in the movie industry they've gotten really good at that they just say no to all the cool invitations they get they just say no they don't have to do it and she goes but how could we get them to say yes and I said I'll tell you the only way I can imagine you're gonna get them to say yes is if you book the last four days you book the last four days of the Olympics and you get tickets to the closing ceremonies because it's the coolest thing and you get tickets to the gold medal hockey game in Canada and America this gold medal hockey game was going to be one of the most sought-after sporting events in the history of sports for North America and the woman said to me that is never gonna happen never gonna happen those tickets are the hottest tickets in the Olympics we're never gonna make it happen and I said I know that's why I said do you really want to know like that's the only way you're gonna make it happen she calls me back two days later and she goes we got them she goes we got a block of tickets and we got them in the coolest section right there in the club section we got tickets will you be there what was my answer yes absolutely I will be there I wouldn't even want to say no problem in case she made in case you only heard the first word right absolutely I will be there and then the rest of the industry showed up because we'd made it so cool then I went to go do a presentation because that's where I was there I gave a presentation 15 minutes not motivation not inspiration just boring ass stuff about the film industry just stuff about how the work we did on avatar went and how 3d technology is changing the movie industry nothing exciting and then all of a sudden this guy walks up to me hubo chinese guy from Shanghai he was one of the producers of the Beijing Olympics and the way the Olympics work is that the last city helps the next city produce so he was there helping Vancouver produce the Olympics so he happened to be at my talk he walks up to me and he goes Eric that talk was fantastic he says it's the best one I've seen in the whole program he says I'm working on a movie right now a big feature a movie about the Sun Tzu's Art of War Scrolls and and it's gonna be like a 200 million dollar movie it's gonna be like Avatar and the government has already agreed to fund it but they've told us that we need to fund a smaller movie first to prove that we can make one he says do you have any 3d movies that you would like funding for even if I didn't I just go to the bathroom grab a toilet roll and write the damn thing I mean somebody's offering you funding for your movie yes you have a movie just practice I just want you to practice with me right now how many of you right now do have a movie okay just a few of you no judge wait actually actually now now I'd say something different I've got money for somebody who has a movie to produce how many of you have a movie to make excellent answer excellent answer two months later he sent us a quarter of a million dollars to go into development on a project we were working on why did that happen because I'd overcome my rubbish I'd overcome the garbage and I'd gotten comfortable with speaking it has opened so many doors for me that I can't even begin to tell you who wants to know my recipe for getting on stage at a fest anybody want to know that one I don't know that didn't seem like there was a lot of excitement for that I'll tell you the way it works some of you have studied in septic Marketing with me so here's what happened I had made a decision not only that I wanted to get on stage at a fest but I'd made a decision that I wanted my products published on the MindValley platform here's the bizarre bit though at the same time that I made that decision vision had made a different decision and that was that mind Valley no longer wanted to produce quantity they wanted to focus completely on quality they wanted best-of-breed authors in other words they were going from ATO Thursday to 14 authors and I had made the decision that I wanted to be one of those 14 authors does it is this does this sound like an easy goal no and so let's back up when we talk about marketing when we talk about an influence it doesn't work like it used to in the 80s in the 80s what you did for influence was you just talked about how good you were you talked about your features and benefits you talked about how great you were you advertise yourself that does not work anymore do we agree it's over and now what we have to do if we want to influence people is we have to think about them we have to think about them we have to think about them and talk to them about in fact I want to do a funny little thing I need some parents I need parents in parents that are sitting beside each other are you sitting beside each other have we played this game before okay good they are now my parents and I am a 14 year old child and I would very much like to go to Disney World now in the traditional world of children how am I going to convince mom and dad that I get to go to Disney World how am I gonna do it help me out coach me on the traditional world how would I do it I'm gonna go tell them what I want right I really really want to go to Disneyland say no no now what do I try now begging begging please I'll clean my room bribery is it true right and then guilt but all the cool parents are sending their kids will kids do this stuff absolutely well I'll tell you something you might think the kids do this stuff I've seen some of your websites you're doing this you're just talking about you on the website I want you to buy my product let me tell you how great my product is you're not giving them value so if I think of it differently wait a minute who's my ideal target market my parents aren't they all right so if I want to influence them I need to learn everything I can about them what are my parents worried about what are they thinking about they're thinking about me they're thinking about am i safe they want to make sure I don't get somebody pregnant that I don't have the police bring me home they're thinking that I want to get a good education is this all true all right now my parents are thinking about that stuff got it hey mom dad are you having a good breakfast I just wanted to know I've been thinking a lot lately about my university education and you know university entrance requirements I've been thinking a lot about that do I have their attention yeah they like one of them is choking now from like what Oh what and and it turns out mom and dad that University the grades thing you guys were right that's really important you got to have I'm gonna have to step up on that area because you got to have those grades you know what else is fascinating though is that it turns out universities aren't interested just in robotic grades they're interested in interesting kids they're interested in innovation activity involvement creativity and so I'm doing everything I can to learn about that because there have been some incredible people out there do you guys know who Nikola Tesla is in credit course Thomas Edison and then you've got George Lucas and Steven Spielberg and Walt Disney and and and and and Elon Musk and Richard Brandt I mean these people are so creative and I'm so excited about them so right now I'm doing a doing like a project I'm doing all the research I can on Walt Disney you know that when when he was broke and he was just making cartoons and his stories in fascinating so if you have any books or blogs or articles or videos or anything at all about Walt Disney any way that you can help me learn more about Walt Disney you just let me know whose idea is it gonna be it's gonna be their idea it's gonna be their idea and and I think a lot about this because most of us these days are so uncomfortable communicating that we don't have time to think about our communication before we communicate isn't it true I am a big fan of having really clear strategic objectives before I communicate before I walk onstage I have a list of strategic objectives one of them is always to have fun it's always like that for me I won't go onstage if it isn't fun ever since Poland by the way in Poland did I end up having fun yeah because it was one of my strategic objectives and so one of the problems is is that if you're nervous and you're freaked out and you're afraid it's hard to think strategically because most people many people in this room even if they were told hey you have to give a presentation in front of hundreds of people your biggest strategic objective is survival isn't it true it's just to get through it it's just to get to the other side in fact some of you will come up and you'll do a presentation and you'll do really well you'll make people laugh you'll give some good ideas you'll walk off the stage and you'll have instant stage amnesia you'll forget everything you said who's had that experience that's adrenaline and cortisol when you walk up on stage with adrenaline cortisol you mess it up and you don't give yourself a chance to learn so I'm going to give you a clue one of the biggest clues you can have and starting to get really comfortable with being on the stage never ever tell the audience that you're nervous never ever show them with your body that you're never that you're nervous never let them hear in your voice that you're nervous don't do it how many of you have gone out to do a talk you've been a little nervous you've really kicked butt like you've actually done really well once you got into it you made them laugh you started to feel pretty good and then you got off the stage and it was good and then people come up to you and told you how good it was and yet somehow you were still nervous the next time who's had that experience the reason you had that experience is that you came off the stage and you walked around and people came up to you and they told you what a great job you did and you didn't believe them you didn't believe them because you showed them that you were nervous and so because you showed them that you were nervous you believed that their praise of you that their warm words for you our platitudes and lies what you have to do is you have to recognize that if you tell them you're nervous the reason you're doing it the reason that you're saying oh gosh I'm a little nervous today is you're fishing that's why you're doing it you're fishing because you're afraid you might not do that well you want to set their expectations lower and that way they're gonna give you better feedback but the problem is is the feedback will only feel good it's like a drug it's that feedback is like snorting a line of cocaine it'll feel good for a minute and I'll mess up your life please never let them see you nervous I had this woman Jessica she came to one of my very first ever speaking academies she came to the Academy and before she came by the way she was so scared that even signing up her hands were shaking she was so terrified to be there and then she did the program and became incredibly comfortable and super proficient at speaking and so sometime later I used to offer this service where people could send me videos and I would do a video breakdown of their talk for them and so I did that for her she sent me one of her videos and I'm watching the video and she rocked it she did this incredible talk on mindfulness beautiful talk beautifully delivered and she came to the very end of the talk and then she did something that told the audience how hard it was for her how nervous she was it was subtle it was super subtle I don't know if I'm gonna show it to you you you might not even see it it was so subtle but it would kind of went like this she finished her talk she no kidding got a standing ovation and at the end of the standing ovation just see if you can see it it's just it was a like you know in poker you have littell you know when you're trying to bluff you have the towel and so she just gave it away a little bit here was she everybody's clapping and she goes like this did you see it I couldn't believe it I'm watching the video going no no you did this perfect talk and if she just held on if she just stood there and accepted the applause then when the people came up and told her how much ass she kicked how well she did she would have believe them but just that one stupid little thing she won't believe any of them no you cannot show them you're nervous if you walk on stage acting at least if you're not acting confident telling them you're confident and not communicating your fear you will believe the feedback you get and you will feel slightly better for the next talk and then you'll do your next talk and you will believe the feedback you get and you will feel slightly better than the next talk five talks later you will not be nervous anymore you will let it go does this sound sensible to you I went to speak at my very first a fest event coming back to my strategy on how to get there the ideal target market in my case was who vision and so I ended up at a conference where vision was and what I know about vision because I'd done a little bit of research is I knew a few things about him one is that he has a very selective way of putting his attention on things he has a very high value system at what he's going he does not waste his attention do you understand so if he goes to a conference he's very clear about which speakers he already wants to see he knows that and and and the rest of the time he's working he's on his device he's making things happen he didn't know me so was he gonna come and see my talk no and so I'm sitting on a bus going on some tour and I noticed I've got vision nearby and I go vision I want to do a little more market research sometimes the best place to do your market research is with your market and so I go vision I've got I want to ask you some questions I'm curious what are you interested in these days and he goes oh I'm super interested in biohacking and I go that's amazing that's what I'm speaking about tomorrow now know your ideal target market didn't give them what they want as it well as it turned out I was talking about evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology which in my opinion is the foundation of biohacking I wasn't gonna say that in my talk but now I thought maybe I should address it and the other thing I knew about vision is that he really values solid educators have you guys noticed the quality of the people he brings for you to learn from he really values solid educators and one of the ways he measures them is can they hold an audience's attention can they give information in a way that the audience is actually going to learn and actually in a change and so I knew that if I could get him to come in the room that I needed to deliver like that and so there he was in the room and so I gave the talk that he needed to see he walked up to me immediately and it goes Erik you got to come speak at a fest mission accomplished step one of mission accomplished by the way I wasn't doing a lot of speaking back then and he I said what month is it in and he told me the month and I said yes because I didn't have anything in my calendar I was like yeah I do it and then another guy because I had done so well walked up to me calling and he goes Eric can you speak at our conference in Vancouver and on the court month is it the same month I'm well yeah what are the odds that you know yeah yeah I'll be there same weekend one events in Vancouver Canada and the other ones in Mykonos Greece so you know close and so I go off to Vancouver and I do my talk and I get offstage and I normally would like to stay and you know autographs and take selfies and all that kind of stuff that people want to do but I could not I literally went from the stage to the limousine to the airport to the three flights to Mykonos and here's the funny thing I didn't know is that mine Valley had arranged the hotel room for me I didn't know that I didn't know anything I just went there myself and I had already booked my own hotel room the problem is when I didn't check into my hotel room there like where the hell is Eric and so the next morning I woke up in my hotel room and I walked over to the conference center and I knew I had to be on stage in about an hour and I went there to go and look at the stage and do all my stuff and Mia some of you but familiar with me who is me a fantastic and amazing absolutely she is and she and I had never really met before well that's not true about two weeks earlier we had met on skype she goes Erik the AFS schedule was full before admission invited you she goes what are you planning to speak about and I go well like I imagine mission wants me to talk about wild fit you know I think and she goes well we already have Dave Asprey we've got JJ virgin we've got Mark Hyman we do not need another diet talk you cannot talk about diet and I'm like I have no idea what to do now and so you know what did I say to her by the way when she said this to me no problem and then I got there and I got a hold of her on on FaceTime and she goes oh my god Eric oh my god we didn't you didn't check in at hotel and we didn't know where you were and we're freaking out and I said Mia everything's fine it's no problem I'm here and then I walked out and she immediately calmed down she came out and met me in the lobby and she said that it was just so amazing because so many times speakers are frenetic and nervous before they walk on the stage is it true and in my case I was like I just I was just so laid back she's like you know you're on stage soon right then I go yeah and she goes don't you have to do that nervous thing that people do no she goes oh do you do it like right before you go onstage then I don't know I just don't do that I don't I don't like that and I enjoy it so so I don't do that we don't go there and she's like okay and so then I walked out on stage and I did a talk and that night we were all at dinner I was out at dinner and and vishen was there Christina was there a bunch of the speakers were there and vision walks up to me and he says the tribe's so enjoyed your talk would you do another one for us no I need to back up for a moment I don't do 20 minute talks I just don't like I just don't do that like I just don't do that do you know why I don't do it if you would like me to come and speak in your company and you want me to speak for you know eight hours do you know how much time I have to prepare for that I don't I just show up and I'll speak for the eight hours I mean yeah I'll do a little preparation on what your company wants but I don't have to prepare for a talk like that if you want me to come on stage and speak for three hours I'll prep for half an hour or two an hour max but if you want me to talk for 20 minutes I need a month because I have to choose words so carefully I have to choose the rhythm so carefully I don't have leeway so everybody people have come and asked me I'll come into a TED talk coming to its no 18 minutes no I won't do that I just won't do it but in this case remember I had a strategic objective to get published on mine Valley and so in order for me to get published on mine Valley I knew step one was get myself on the af-s stage and when Mission said come and speak I didn't even ask how long it was I found out it was it was 20 minutes and I'm like no problem and so I did my first talk in 20 minutes first time I ever spoke for 20 minutes and vision comes out to me afterward at dinner and he says Erik the tribe loved your talk so much would you do another one tomorrow for 20 minutes sure I have a month between now and tomorrow to prepare and then I said to him what would you like the talk to be about because he knows me a little at this point he knows about my interest in business and entrepreneurship he knows that I'm interested in health and nutrition he knows that I'm interested in evolution of ology I'm I'm a curious guy and what's interesting is I have this friend David Wood and when you go out to a meal in a restaurant with him this is so cool he won't order the waiter comes over and the waiter says what would you like and he goes anything you decide surprise me how brave is that in America you know I mean that's a that could be lethal really but the fact is he does it he goes bring me anything and you know what's really amazing is if the restaurants not too full almost every time I've been out with him they've brought him something that wasn't on the menu because the chef is bored silly with cooking the same crap chef's did not go into being chefs to cook the same stuff every day they're creative people and so when he says I'll take anything the chef is back there going cooking the same thing all the time and the guy says hey we got a joker back here he says he wants you to make anything for him pick something off the menu in the guy who's forget the menu I get to be creative and he does something creative and then they send the creative dish out and then we're sitting there and David gets his creative meal which somehow looks better smells better tastes better than everything on the menu every time and then you know what almost every time the chef comes out and greets us at the table in his hat the deal and he says I want to know how the meal was is that a rich experience it really is and I think our whole job into in our lives is really to have rich experiences and I love the way did that and so when vision I said a vision what would you like me to speak about vision says this to me I kid you not and I want you to understand mine Valley controls things tightly to make sure they're delivering the height like every minute is accounted for first of all I don't know where he found an extra 20 minutes for me they don't you never have an extra 20 minutes at a conference ever because speakers quite often go over time which by the way you should never do not ever should you go over time but sometimes feet speakers do and they shouldn't but the problem is the conferences never have a spare 20 minutes I'm amazed at where this has come from it turns out he told me later that he took it out of his presentation for me and so then I said to him again I said member I said well what would you like me to speak about and this is what he said to me anything you want I don't have to go from the menu I'm like I and I went back to my hotel room answer oh my god what could I do this is so incredible and then I broke one of my most incredible rules and that is never ever break a topic out in front of a fresh audience for that you practice stuff right forget that I'm gonna do something amazing and I've been working on a project I've been working on this book called the hindsight window and it's something I was super excited about and I decided that's what I'm gonna do and the project had been mostly being worked on in my journal in my book and I hadn't really thought much of it and I suddenly thought wow if I'm gonna go talk about the hindsight window in front of all these people I better register hindsight window calm now so I went off and registered the domain that night no kidding and and then I went out on stage and I started like this and I don't remember it completely word-for-word but basically I walked out on stage and I looked out at all these incredible people and they're so warm to me I'd already been on stage the day before and I walked out and I said I am so excited about this next talk I want to tell you that I believe this talk is going to have a major impact on you and you are going to remember it for years to come was i nervous not at all not at all that was my truth my truth was I believed I was about to give a talk that was going to change their lives in 20 minutes that it was a talk that they would remember years to come and do you know that I have had and still to this day two years later about once a week somebody still writes to me now because they see it online and they tell me Eric you're talking my life but even bigger than that after I gave my talk and I bumped into people because one of the things I love so much about a fest is that a lot of conferences you kind of as a speaker you kind of come in you do your thing and you're out but at a fest it's like community right so that means for the next couple days I'm on the beach I'm on I'm out on the catamaran and I'm hanging out with the audience and I get to hear from them and you know what people came up and told me they're like oh my god Eric you really touched me I really enjoyed your talk it was so funny it was engaging blah blah blah they're telling me all this stuff and I am believing them because I wasn't nervous it's so important that you do not show the audience your nerves does this make sense to you now couple more things I want to share with you about getting super comfortable with being on stage super super comfortable one of them is that your breathing has everything to do with how safe you feel the way you breathe has everything to do with how safe you feel as a human being and I believe that this is a design of the homosapiens frame and it works like this you've got lungs and at the top of your lungs the little hairs that extract oxygen from the air you breathe are more sparse up here and there month dense in the lower part of your lungs now if you didn't know our history you might think this is a terrible idea right yeah I mean you might think this is a terrible idea because where do people spend most of the time breathing up here they breathe up here all the time the trouble is when you breathe up here you don't get quite enough oxygen and if you don't get quite enough oxygen your brain gets oxygen starved and then that triggers cortisol and adrenaline production it's by design though it now seems flawed because we spend so much time sitting down and crunching up our lungs so we're constantly producing this flow of adrenalin and cortisol when we sit at a desk for too long it's one of the reasons have you ever seen the brain scans where they show a brain of somebody who's been sitting for like 30 minutes and they show somebody who's been walking the brain scan of the person who's been sitting it's out there's no flow in there there's no electrical circuitry going on it's like it's like it looks like a like you know New York Anna in a power outage but if you look at the person who's been walking around it's like fireworks inside there and I think one of the reasons for that is that when we sit down and we crunch up our lungs and we breathe only in the top we switch back to reptile brain and we stop being able to think really consciously and then a problem with that is is that if we breathe like that what do we say earlier if we breathe like that and we produce cortisol and adrenalin we've become naturally more pessimistic I wonder if this is why so many antidepressants are out there these days couldn't be couldn't be related to that at all but it's a perfect design of Homo sapiens we are meant to be that way because for most of our history we didn't sit at desks now I want you to imagine for a minute if you and I are walking along and we stumble upon some lion tracks on the road we stumble upon these Lion tracks in the dirt where are you gonna start breathing how are you gonna breathe will you breathe what do you think you tell me would we walk along and see the Lion tracks and go oh look Lion tracks would we do that no no we would not we would look at them and we would only do one of two things one would be to go and stop breathing instant way to produce adrenaline cortisol why because we want to switch to reptile brain as fast as possible we want the fastest possible reflexes at this point is it true and the other way we might breathe just ago same thing right same thing we're gonna produce adrenaline cortisol which is going to move us to reptile brain so we are only going to be operating on instinct and when we are only operating on instinct everything will look scarier than it really is because that's safer okay that was perfect for most of our history but you know what it's not perfect for the person who's about to walk on stage and give the presentation because I've seen them I'm talking professional-grade world famous speakers they're standing off on the side over here and they're going I'm gonna do my presentation and they do this and they're breathing like this the whole time ooh I feel scared now doing it myself don't do it I want you to know that when you breathe really fully you communicate to your DNA that your environment is safe this is one of the reasons that meditation is so incredibly powerful we can talk about esoteric things and energies flowing around the universe yet fine we can also talk about the practical reality of this machine and this machine likes it when you breathe fully because in nature the only time you would ever breathe fully is when there is nothing around to threaten you does this make sense and so before you walk on the stage while you're preparing for your talk you breathe fully when you breathe fully you will make your body feel safe next thing is your eyes they say the eyes are the windows to the soul well I would put to you that the eyes are also absolutely connected to your sense of well-being when you are afraid you use your eyes in a very focused way again we walk along we see the line tracks will we gaze at them or will we stare at them you got all look line tracks no it's gonna be line tracks what do we want to know right now quick what do we want to know what direction are they going in that's useful how about how big are they do you have any idea how many have ever seen a lion like in a zoo or something they're bigger with no glass how many of you seen a lion from a 4×4 in Africa aren't they bigger in the for how many of you seen a lion walking along few of you hey you're just walking you're walking and there's a lion there that your DNA knows what a lion is quite a few of your ancestors were digested by lions so your DNA knows and so you look at that lion print you want to know how far sorry how fat what direction is it going in how big is the lion how many lions are in the pride do they have Cubs with them and by the way most importantly of all how fresh are they and by the way the way in case this happens to you because you know it might if you see the Lion tracks if you want to know how fresh they are you just do this and then if sand trickles in then they're within 15 minutes and at that point your eyes are not going to gaze at either they're not going to gaze in oh look the Lions are going that way oh cool your eyes are gonna go to and they're gonna look for everything well guess what when people may get themselves nervous they start doing that with the audience and they start looking around like this super fast and focusing on stuff and they make themselves afraid I want to share with you a really powerful distinction emotions do emotions affect our body does our body affect our emotions it's a feedback loop isn't it you know it's like Tony Robbins he says if you want it how fast can you change the way you feel in a heartbeat right change your physiology if you want to create massive action in your life change your physiology now level 1,000 that feels pretty good by the way he's not wrong the fact of the matter is is that if we look at somebody we can roughly tell what emotion they're experiencing based on their body is it true but tell me the difference I mean if I uh if I see there's a depressed person over here you'll tell me shoulders are slump faces slack right if I tell you it's an angry person or your shoulders are tense fists are clenched face is clenched but if I tell you that we have two people here one of them is excited and the other ones nervous tell me the difference what's the difference there isn't really they do they both have sweaty palms or they both breathing up here are they both vibrating inside yeah there's no actual difference they're the same emotion they are actually exactly the same emotion I will put to you that excitement is simply nervousness about something cool right and nervousness is just excitement about something scary that's it and so what that means is the person over here getting ready to come on the stage the person over you're getting ready to come on the stage if they're creating movies and pictures that are scary then they're going to be nervous if they're creating pictures and movies about how cool the whole thing's gonna be then they're gonna get excited does this make sense to you so when we combine all this together and we recognize that in order for us to feel really good we want to breathe fully I and I want to share distinction with you about I share this every now and again and uh it's a little controversial are you guys okay with a little controversy I want to suggest to you that and some of you may have seen me say this I think there's a youtube video that MindValley published where I said this so some of you it won't be a new idea maybe you heard it from somebody else too but I want to put to you that I don't think cigarettes are addictive chemically so there are two types of addiction right how many of you have ever found yourself addicted to a video game I want to wear all the candy crush people yeah my wife and I we almost had to call the divorce lawyer candy crush so can a video game be addictive yeah but that's not a chemical and external chemical addiction that's an emotional addiction or an internal chemical addiction so when you stop playing candy crush what happens to you your husband loves you again he never stopped loving you he likes you again but when when you stop playing a video game nothing happens inside you is true you don't vomit you don't get headache when you stop drinking coffee and you've been drinking coffee for our life what might happen to your body headaches and in extreme cases heroin like withdrawal symptoms including fever shaking vomiting temperature it's incredible and if somebody quits heroin there are the symptoms if somebody quits cocaine there are the symptoms if somebody is addicted to alcohol and they quit drinking alcohol it's called the DTS and it's the same thing when somebody quit smoking what happens nothing nothing they don't get a headache they don't vomit they have an oral and a finger fixation just like a child does when you take their dummy away the next time you see an adult with a cigarette or an e-cigarette I want you to create a picture in your head of what it really is it's them walking along like little Jessica Simpson oh no no the other one yeah Jessica a little one right this is an adult with a cigarette or a knee it's this that's all it is they're just doing it because it feels good like they may as well switch to a dummy but the one problem is that dummy won't solve the real addiction for them the real addiction they have is too deep breathing that's the addiction they have the addiction they have is to taking a nice deep breath there are some other things like personal significance like damn right I'll do this no matter what anybody says then they feel important by the way it might kill you there's some adventure but the biggest thing that they're really addicted to is the deep breath because when you take a big lung filled deep breath of air your body knows that the environment is safe you would not take that big lung fill of air if there is a lion or a hyena or a snake or a spider or a lawyer you wouldn't take that big lung full of air and so what Pitts happens every oh come on guy every grab a cigarette with me put whatever in it you want but grab a cigarette alright and then and then just and just act it out with me we light it and then watch me first you light it you go cook and you go like this you go yeah okay everybody do this with me ready here we go no wonder they do that after sex I mean doesn't that feel good breathing like that will make you feel calm so what I want you to think about is anytime you need to go on stage there are a bunch of things that are gonna make you feel better breathing deeply using your eyes in a soft gazing way when a Bushman is sitting in Africa making stone tools or carving an arrow he's gazing out at the horizon and then looking down and gazing out if there was a threat he would stare if he's relaxed he will gaze so we breathe deeply we gaze we see it coming out beautifully we never let the audience see us nervous and the last thing that is so important is we start the talk with a predictable laugh how many of you have ever done a talk and the minute you got the audience to laugh the first time you instantly felt better who's had that experience so why not and many of us have had the experience by accident but what if we did it on purpose my friend Jack Canfield you know what he does he's so funny what he'll do before he goes on stage is he'll have slides of all the funniest comics he's seen for the last couple of months and he just plays the slides and everybody starts laughing he didn't even have to say a word yet but he feels good they feel good what a great warm-up ah I saw Eddie Izzard Eddie Izzard the comedian he created the first ever public Twitter wall that I saw at an event he put this huge screen up with the Twitter feed so the audience could write to him on Twitter and they put it publicly and it was hilarious the things people wrote the audience we had tears down their face the audience was the opening act he found a way to make them laugh and so what I want to suggest you is that the last piece for you is to be predictable in that first bit know exactly what you're going to say so that you can create a predictive response from the audience in the first 30 seconds does that make sense

44 thoughts on “How To Become A Master In The Art of Public Speaking (Part 1 of 2) | Eric Edmeades”

  1. Are you afraid of public speaking? In this talk we are made aware that this is the #1 skill to increase our income.
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  2. I used the trick at 32:40 in school too! Sad thing is a teacher would rather call on me out of spite in hopes that I would look stupid than call on me because everyone else had already been called on.

  3. What a brilliant talk! I had no intention to watch it this evening, I was going to save it for later, but once I started listening I couldn't stop. Terrific!

  4. A kind of intersting but also Irritating, overconfidence combining to a lot of a self brag and the worst : No audience consideration, 0 effort to dress propely

  5. Should have worn long pants, pressed and clean like you respect the audience and realize appearance means something.

  6. He's been listening to Wim Hof. These are Wim Hof breathing methods for producing adrenaline. look him up.

  7. For my internship this summer, I am helping a company launch a FREE online public speaking course: "Speak With Confidence & Without Fear Anywhere, Anytime!"

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    The course is provided by Jyoti Singhvi, a 30 year veteran of Public Speaking who has studied at MIT & Harvard. She owns a luxury eCommerce business and has worked at Cartier, IBM & KPMG Consulting. Jyoti frequently gives keynote speeches and interviews CEOs and business leaders.

    The course is for all ages and includes a number of practical, actionable, and proven techniques on how to combat nerves and speak with confidence.

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  9. Wow, this is great. I especially identified with the price of social conditioning silencing your voice. My natural self is very outgoing with the ability to talk to anyone. This is how I was when I was small. The struggle is escaping the prison of conditioning to get back to that.

  10. Well, I didn't enjoy this.he spoke about himself the whole time and bragged about how everybody says he's a good speaker. Less lessons , lots of bragging.

  11. I got asked to do a 4-hour seminar/workshop at my former college at the start of the year. I reluctantly said yes. In the weeks and days leading up to it I constantly had butterflies in my stomach. Two days before it I even contemplated cancelling. But I stuck it out and did it. Actually really enjoyed it. And afterwards had a feeling like I just won the lottery. Getting out of your comfort zone and challenging yourself is hugely rewarding. Embrace the fear!

  12. this presentation about creating a sustainable and abundant society was incredibly well received. @t

  13. Great cheers.cute water- replying in class !woaaa Lucas studio he bought..avator!! Got funded and more wow..

  14. You and Tony Robbins are not changed human beings your just more positive thinking believers, exploiters with some common sense that really believe you can talk yourselves into anything self hypnotize yourselves and make your lives a happy success bullshitting others in life by believing in the phoniness your spouting and convincing others your worth what they are paying for your friendship wisdom and advice. A paid friend . That is not friendship at all .Your another sell out for a wartime economy, like any TV preacher. That is not creativity or being a master in life . You learned to speak to make money so you really do nothing except milk the public's greed.just for your own gains in life.and their financial success by becoming a better communicator in life which is not a bad thing just not a guarantee of financial success or a replacement for real work .

  15. If you are going to be a great speaker, learn to not alienate half your audience by your ideology.

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