EP 001: SHAMELESS: Shame-Free Sex Education for All ft. Andrea Barrica of O.School x GoFitJo

What would the world look like if no one had sexual shame? What would the world look like if people felt autonomy over their own bodies? So, I was hanging out with my dad and I talked about
how I had a giant clit that I use to educate on stage. Right. So have the life-sized one, the human body size. And I have this one when I’m on stage so I can show the clit. And he scoffed, made fun of it. “You think that’s a big clit? That’s not a big enough clit!” Okay, Dad. Well, what are you gonna do about it? He’s a woodworker. He loves to build things. And so he’s like, “I’ll build you a clit that’s actually large enough
for you to call it a giant clit. That’s just, that’s puny.” He called it a puny clit. I’m like, “Dad, this might be one of the bigger clits,
you know, clit models in the world.” He’s like, “No, I want to build a six-foot-tall one.” And, so, my dad is building me a giant clitoris. My name is Andrea Barrica. I’m the founder and CEO of O.school. And today we’re talking about sex. There is what’s called an orgasm gap. About 95% of the time, a straight man will have an orgasm. That’s compared to only 60 or 65% of the time
that a straight woman has sex. And that’s why we have to start with educating people
about all the organs in their body. When I started to get obsessed with the problem
that I’m solving at O.school —which is why are there no resources out there that are between porn and medical websites like Web MD and Planned Parenthood— I started to tell people in my community about the business that I wanted to run. And everyone just told me not even to try. So, yeah. Have I been rejected? Tons of times. Have I been insulted? Tons of times. I’ve been called an idiot by billionaires. I had zero qualifications to do this business. In my heart, I knew that we could build something that could
potentially help billions of people. Did your family talk about sex? Oh, hell no. The only sex talk I ever got was, “Do not get pregnant.” And it was like, all right, how do you even get pregnant? I mean, I knew what that meant,
at that age, but I just was, I remember my mom specifically saying like, “Just don’t get pregnant.” When I got my period,
my mom called all my relatives in front of me immediately. Oh my God. It was like this instant realization that,
in some ways, my body didn’t belong to me. It belonged to the family. When it came down to sex,
I kind of knew intrinsically I couldn’t ask. People ask me, “Well, didn’t you ever
ask your parents about sex?” I just knew that was not… Not part of the culture. Not okay. My parents grew up entirely in the Philippines. They were really trying to raise us in a Filipino way. And that was definitely a point of friction. My dad and I fought a lot. This is my dad and my mom. My brother, my sister, and me. Catholic school. St. Joseph, Sacramento. 1995. Represent. Shame is a really interesting thing because it really implants early in us. And it’s so hard to shake. It’s almost like a veil gets put over us. I remember one of the most traumatic things I was ever told, was being 14, you know, being caught with a woman, or even just being caught saying like,
“I think I might like girls,” just even being caught in that space, the way that my family thought best to handle it was to tell me that “If you tell us right now that you’re a lesbian and you like girls, then your baby sister who you love more than any human in the whole world can’t sleep in your bed anymore.” You know. And that was like, to this day, it just shocks me every time. There’s, like, a woman and this goes back to being 14 and being: No, not gay! Can’t be gay. Because Celine, my sister, is too important to me to be gay. It’s stuff like that. You don’t forget, you know. And my parents have apologized for that. And they know better now. But they’re like, “We freaked out. We didn’t know. We didn’t know. That was just what happened.” That happened when I was 14. I’m 29 years old. And I still go back to that and feeling like
it’s my sexuality or my family. I don’t feel angry at my parents and my family
because they didn’t have any sex ed either. Because I think my parents now
would have done things way differently. Of course, my pain is still valid. But when I started to get to that point, forgiveness started to spring in my heart. I started to see them as people, as people who are also hurt. And that process also helped me accept myself. And now my parents completely have apologized
and like we have an amazing relationship today. I think that can come when, you know, we realize that parents are people who have their own pain and they really hurt me and it had life long effects. That is why it’s so important that I go out and tell people don’t do this to your children. You’re learning about sex your whole life. It doesn’t end. You can be 70 and learn new things. Even if you feel like you understand sex at one age, you have a baby. You get divorced. You learn that you have this new desire
you’ve never thought of before. Maybe you come out as queer later in life. And it’s all normal because we all live in a world where, you know, a lot of these things are not okay or are taboo. I remember my daughter one time was like, “Mom, wait, you don’t know what pansexual is?” I was like, “Girl, school me. Sit me down and tell me, because I only grew up in a society and culture
that only knew a handful of different sexualities. So, please, tell me what are the other
common sexualities that are out there?” I’m still learning every day. Yeah Every day my sexuality is blooming. So I also wish that people in our generation
learn from the younger generation. Yes. I think they have a lot to teach us. This is one of the oldest, best vibrators. You turn it on this way, this way. You can use it with a partner, without a partner… I was building O.school for like 15-year-old me who was really in pain and lost and really needed help. But I also am building it for my parents, you know, and when they were young. Because all of this is a cycle. My best vision for the world is
every single human being on the planet gets educated about sex, their bodies, and has a place that’s safe that they can talk about sexuality with during their hardest times. This is work is healing and this work is important. And that’s enough for me.

5 thoughts on “EP 001: SHAMELESS: Shame-Free Sex Education for All ft. Andrea Barrica of O.School x GoFitJo”

  1. Awesome! Unfortunately, my parents did not talk to me about sex as a child. Their only message? Do not get her pregnant. Not much of a sex education at all.

  2. I think talking about sex is the first step. It can feel uncomfortable at first, but it's natural. Just like talking about good hygiene or eating habits. It's a part of who we are. It's always okay to ask, and if your parents won't talk to you, ask a friend, a teacher, or do a safe-search online. Resources, like LGBTQ centers, can help. You can also reach out to organizations like The Trevor Project.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *