Emotional Literacy as a the Unexpected Gateway to Healing CPTSD



oh that's what I should a chat for where the mic shows me when my face voice is coming out of dammit okay let's do this is it live boom mic shows me when my face voice is coming out hey I can hear me upon me hello Adaline cruel says hello sound yay sound ah it's working now works we can hear now yay yay good yes I can't read any more of those okay subscribe about that but a little technical error the technical error was I was talking for about 20 minutes with no sound on because I didn't do a sound check we should always be doing sound checks right great just great grades weld on me so what I was talking about to nobody so that it's as that is emotional literacy and what can happen over time with trauma and your emotional literacy and your capacity to access emotions what happens over time when you are traumatized is that your capacity to access emotions diminishes and where you should have this beautiful full scale full color palette of emotions you actually end up wetting down to just three emotions could be sadness rage and then just despair second thing that starts to happen that diminishes your emotional literacy is that the brain starts to learn the emotions is where all the pain is and the brain doesn't want to go to where pain is the brain wants to stop pain so you've got to it you got to it's not to two effects how many fingers am i holding up Winston one is that your emotions are now all being pulled in the whole person pulls in the whole individual pulls in and when when there is like really really strong trauma the whole person goes and pulls back away from the trauma it's a it's a safety response and the emotions pull back so weather would have been this huge catalogue of different emotions and feelings that you can access and feel good about you now come you whittled down to three baseline emotions and they're not even really emotions they're more like erotic responses to the environment then the second thing that happens is the brain goes see those three emotions that we've got residual that we don't really want anymore but like we have to have them the system like won't work without that baseline software I would take away all of that software we need that don't access it because I don't want it I don't want feelings feelings bad feelings are bad feelings are not good feelings make me feel bad feelings make me feel out of control so I don't want them so even though just those three feelings that I've got left block them because I don't need a marijuana take them away what happens over time when you become emotionally illiterate well you might just think in your little head now I might think in my little head so what emotions are bit shite to make you feel things you don't want to feel them I want to feel all these bad things and goal dead and feel vulnerable in that did you know but like feeling vulnerable I like to feel in control okay so rather me hitting you from the angle of like oh you know you should feel vulnerable you should be open you should be emotionally intelligent no we're not going there because you've already aired all that and it didn't convince you I'm gonna hit you with another angle I'm gonna say that it actually makes you stupid you are so can you be really really intelligent and out of touch with your emotions yes take a cerebral narcissist a cerebral NPD who's very intellectual who has a very high IQ it's been measured if I qj– her IQ with God can't ruin she's constantly thrusting it around on people's faces but they have a diminished capacity to for example recall memories because memory it's been shown time and again in the psychological research functions on feeling and when you don't have a feeling about the thing that you're trying to recall it's really hard to recall when I used to teach in the schools around the UK and I was teaching kids all kinds of things like emotional intelligence and – getting ready for exams there were kids there who the very thought of an exam will just shot them down because they promote you know they're so traumatized they couldn't take on any new information but they weren't stupid they just didn't have the capacity to take on new information because they couldn't access any emotions due to trauma and therefore they couldn't remember anything so what I would do is I would come in and sneakily I would get them to do exercises that would allow them to attach feelings it's a fact feelings to data people are really really good at maths or really good at science or really good at stuff that you're not interested in or I'm not interested in maths as of April I don't like maths I'm not interested in maths but so people who are really into mathematics the number six has emotional significance to them and has a different emotional connotation to them then I don't know some really elegant prime number I actually don't even really know what a prime number is but they have a feeling about it whatever the subject is that you find Bol so I always like language I've got feelings about language I've got feelings about certain words certain words entertain me certain words are you know a beautiful to meet there at the elegance me and I look at the word and it's like a code for human experience and I want to know the etymology and I want to know where it came from and what were the people who came up with that word what did they think about the world when they said that that word was the word for that thing and I find that interesting I have a feeling about it you actually come stupid so you can have a very very high IQ you could be an intellectual cerebral narcissist let's say we'll use that as a convenient example because this channel has comes out of that association with nice people watching us or an interest analysis and what do you find where you find that hyper intellectual cerebral narcissists actually have problems with recall oh they can recall the facts in the data of some weighty tome that they waded through when they were 16 that they use to impress people with but they can't remember what they had for breakfast yesterday morning they can't remember their wife's favorite song they can't remember where they put the fucking car keys down so you have a very narrow band of intelligence that actually their cultural coordinates that we live inside of today modern Western capitalism that is now globalized values very highly that's hyper intellectual ultra-dry machine like mode of processing information and getting jobs done but not so much respect for the more emotional intelligence now when I'm saying emotional intelligence here that's not going to twist it I'm saying just your capacity to function in the world okay so there's emotional intelligence that is about reading cues from other people but a stand-up comedian reads the room he sees he gets a good laugh for this but not such a good laugh for that so he goes back that's okay that's social and that's that's like social intelligence I'm talking about the kind of emotional intelligence that just allows your brain to process information when you are emotionally sponsored when through trauma you've become emotionally literate what I'm suggesting is that your brain does not function as well so don't become interested in emotional literacy because you're trying to become more vulnerable and more expressive and more of a human being bloom that's fine if you want to do it for that reason then do it but you probably already would have done if you actually if you want to overcome see PTSD and just get on with your life if you actually want to be more successful at anything even driving a car is going to be harder if you're not emotionally clear if your emotions are stunted or if your emotions are twisted because I claimed when you are emotionally illiterate your perception of reality is worse when you're emotionally illiterate your capacity to perceive reality is damaged you will it's corrupted so you will distort delete and generalize you will see less the things you do see will be of a certain flavor and lead you to a certain conclusion you will delete the things that deny what that emotional subtext that you're stuck in is already telling you say you're in post-traumatic embitterment syndrome you've experienced it a dreadful trauma and your emotions are reduced down to pain fear and sadness that then creates a reality time that then creates a filter where you're only going to be looking at the pain fear and sadness in the world I'm reading a Prometheus rising at the moment book by Robert Anton Wilson the first chapter is all about the thinker thinks and the proof approved inside of your brain you have a thinker and approver the thinker thinks their thoughts about reality and then the prover comes on and proves that those thoughts that the thinker had were all true so if you think that the color purple is only worn by grotesque extroverts then that is what you're going to find in your reality your reticular activation system is going to pick up evidence that that is the case if you think that with lazed men wearing baseball caps and morons then you're going to find data in the environment that confirms that pre-existing belief the thinker thinks and the prove approves so the emotions become little down to three things and they're probably unpleasant emotions that they're the three that you have in your emotional color palette and then you're cutting off even from those your capacity to perceive reality is diminished your capacity to process reality effectively is diminished and your capacity to thrive in the world is diminished when Pete Walker was talking about overcoming see PTSD and going from surviving to thriving he literally meant in the context of your whole life but also in the context of you emotions your emotions have been pulled into this thing this is me in survival mode I will survive I'll keep putting calories in my face and moving around just enough so that I don't die but other than that I'm not living we coach and guide people back to the point where the emotions start to flow again we're Blood starts to flow back through those atrophied muscles your brick will bring you out the coma slowly the emotional coma slowly and you start to exercise those muscles and move around to the point where you can actually start to thrive as a human being it emotional literacy in this context is the scene a quinone the one thing you cannot do without the prime move that you cannot do without in terms of healing from C PTSD it's the one thing you cannot do without if you want to not live your life as a zombie who's walking around who's yet alive kinda in the biological sense but not really alive in the human sense you're not enjoying your life that's a lack of emotional literacy so what do we do to get people emotionally literally them number one is to go through and explore the emotions and take people out of thinking back into feeling so I say to you you had an unpleasant experience with your box how does it make you feel and then you as a client because you're tricky you're a ninja you'll go I think I think bosses shouldn't talk to their employees like that like nobody asked you how you feel and you responded with I think in a bit of philosophy that came straight out here and not here how did you how did you feel about that you say okay well I felt mad okay you felt mad what was behind the anger but I also found humiliated I also fell disregarded I also felt feelings of shame and I also felt really fucking angry I'm sorry I also feel really really fucking scared okay so we've gone from anger and yeah humiliation fear Oh fear okay you were really angry before now you were expensing fear what's the fear of whatever the fear is that will be warning you of something whatever the sense of shame is that is warning you of something the emotions aren't just there to piss you off and make you feel weak and vulnerable they're there to help you there you're then the unheard homies that have got your back and they're trying to assist you to move forward but you're not listening to them where they're trying to take you safely the the prime objective of the unconscious mind whenever you're getting neurotic thoughts or thoughts you can't get rid of or you can't heal it's because your brain and your unconscious trying to move you towards safety but it's got a twisted sense of what safety is if your thoughts about what your problem are locked in and therefore your thoughts about what the solution is are locked in and your thoughts about what healing will look like is locked then I can't help you nobody can help you your thoughts about what your problem is what the solution is and what healing is or giving you the results that you are at today maybe the results are great from its place where hey you don't need me you don't need this video best of luck to you for the rest of us who is struggling a little bit to move forward despite the Box retread despite the fact we beans cancer despite the fact we've watch youtube videos and made loads of changes we're not getting the results that we want so therefore we might have to let go of our thoughts about what the problem really is let go of our thoughts by what the solution is and let go of our thoughts about what we previously thought healing was and go into a new place might be a psychedelic place I don't know I know that it needs to be multi-dimensional and I know that people who are highly traumatized are in mono dimensional they're viewing the world in monochrome so what is this exercise of drawing people back into their feelings and then asking what the feeling would say if it could speak do it does two things one allows you to flower back open again and explore the fact that you're not just angry behind that anger that you've shoved down and pushed down into the little box over here when you invite it out and it can open up anger is actually comprised of six other emotions that have sub emotions and all of these sub emotions have a message and they have a they have something that they're trying to guide you towards or away from and if we explore that in a safe organic way we're actually expanding the emotions and we're allowing you to safely reconnect with the emotions those are the two problems that we face the emotions have been drawn down to three things just three probably negative emotions and we are cutting off from them we're trying to separate from them so through exploring emotional literacy through going there in a an organic and rational and systemic process generally we can actually start to fix this and we can fix it rapidly as your emotional literacy grows so your capacity to overcome trauma see PTSD and heal and be more effective in the world again and to thrive again will also grow is the Lexx eyes for you think about a situation in the last seven days something small minor that has upset you or has made you feel not good write down on a piece of paper seven words there are adjectives that describe emotion about that thing for each one of those seven words that describe an emotion ask yourself the question what would this emotion say if it could talk what is this emotion trying to tell me about this situation what is this emotion trying to push me towards or away from about this situation and actually acknowledge that you have feelings that it's okay to acknowledge feelings it's not always a shitstorm or that your life is going to fall apart every time you feel a feeling it's okay for you to feel feelings we will allow you to think or clearly it will allow you to get away from people who would exploit you and it would allow you to see that you're being exploited when you are exploited and to have the strength to get up and say I'm going out with us anymore I'm going to leave with that I shall go and look at some questions in the chat box does anybody have any questions Melissa says are you suggesting LSD what if you're in addiction recovery no I'm not suggesting any form of drugs whatsoever I would suggest a multi-dimensional psychedelic approach but actual drugs no I can't recommend them if you're in addiction recovery then you just stay in recovery and stay away from drugs unless somebody else has written LSD is good for PT the can be it can also be awful I've had very very traumatic experiences on LSD should never take any psychedelics lightly and you shouldn't take them without guidance from people who really know what they're doing and I'm really you know you should just steer clear of all drugs you don't really need them I'm the psychedelic experience reading a good book now the psychedelic experience by just telling yourself I'm going to have a psychedelic experience out I'm going to see the world in a new way with a completely fresh patent and you can start to learn that skill of being able to do that ok hi thank you for empowering is ghosting specific to narcissists I don't know what ghosting is ghosting is something that we did in martial arts where you're tracking your the person's movements are you talking about ghosting where people just stop texting each other no I think that's just people have learned to be very very lazy and to UM treat each other as commodities if that's the ghost thing you you're talking about then that's that somebody says kick the troll I've not seen any trolling but not really I can see people saying weird stuff been already trolling do you think antidepressant stop emotional processing I've never taken them but I have had friends who are antidepressants and they told me that it reduced their emotions and down to a point where they were manageable but they also felt numb and their capacity to get things done where was diminished and that makes sense to me now because I think that your capacity to get things done is directly related to your emotional literacy you're all responding to a troll I don't know if there's a troll here can you repeat the questions you ask the emotions yeah if you've listed the emotions I would say hello emotion and I'd imagine the emotion you could even imagine it as an individual as a part of you and you would say you know what is it that you are trying to tell me what is it you're trying to get me to do what is it you're trying to push me away from or is it you're trying to pull me toward how are you serving me these are good questions to ask do you have an expense with the ID nope not much sorry um Google you stupid is trolling good lordy okay I shall look oh oh right um swearing good lord that's been rude I'm gonna have to block you silly put user in timeout I want to time you out mark hooker says are you saying spoil yourself nope I don't think I said anything that sounded like you should spoil yourself and adilyn says diet eat a good diet and therapy no job that will help Miko says shrooms have been shown at studies to be able to repair damaged brain structures that common in see PTSD yes mushrooms have and other psychedelics have as well and what I mean I I'm very wary of all drugs were particularly psychedelics I know it's kind of cool now to recommend psychedelics and you know I would say be very very very careful with that kind of thing and Raphael says how do I know if my feelings are right one for the situation example feeling anger at love etc you don't it's very hard to know if you're still in a post-traumatic state you don't know whether your feelings are appropriate or not which then gives you another reason to shove them down you're gonna have to you you all want to fix the problem by going over here straight away but you're gonna have to go over here and do some stretching and some strength work with your emotions first before you can start to trust them again and you realize they're kicking in at the right time and then you can start to trust your intuition more if you've just discovered you're a very frightened person how do you stay and feel that emotion without going numb again and I don't know that you need to stay and feel that emotion you can acknowledge and that you experience fear but you don't need to do anything fear in the here and now to acknowledge that you experience fear you can feel safe you could feel content and then go but sometimes I'm fearful now what am i fearful and then break that fear down into the subcomponent emotions that ask those subcomponent emotions what it is they're trying to warn you from what's up with the fear of disappointment I find it hard to be the best version of myself because I'm afraid of disappointing anybody else what if I can't live up to it and that sounds like straightforward toxic shame and the fear of disappointment I would say what you know what is it that you are what is it that you're trying to keep me safe from doing and it might say something like you know making an idiot of yourself in front of other people and then I would explore that I go well how am I going to make myself an idiot in front of other people what does that mean what does that mean to you emotion of toxic shame what is it that you're can you expand on that have I ever gone out and not made myself an idiom for people is the reason why I should be particularly scared of making myself an idiot front of people right now and hey who knows maybe the feeling is that is giving me valid feedback that there could be a reason for that and you need to explore that and look at that and look at the feeling and look at what's behind it but that does sound like a toxic shame okay okay do you think DMT can help apparently it can help yes um okay there is no doubt karen says okay I'll eat the shrooms you do whatever you wanna do how me I don't really think you should take drugs most like Daleks but you know you're an adult if you think you should do for yourself and how can one learn to become more narcissists friendly would you want to do that and get out of the cycle whether constantly feeling provoked and victimized why would you want to become born us as friendly I'm referring to situations where no contact isn't an option you don't want to become alone us as friendly you want to be narcissists unfriendly for sure do you know anything about relationship OCD being related to narcissistic abuse I don't know what relationship OCD is I'm sorry um what if we don't know what the emotions are trying to tell us that's why you ask them and you explore you got a try got it doing you got a try give it time try get your stuff in your things you got a try Richard II believe codependents will only ever be attracted to narcissist or can they heal and be attracted to the non disordered yes they can you and be attracted to the non disordered and and your best way of doing that is to develop your emotional literacy in the way that I've described because it allowed you to get in touch with what it is that you truly want what you really want and not what the neurotic thoughts and neurotic sort of pseudo feelings are driving you towards when you're an emotionally illiterate state so you want to get back to where it is that you actually really want what you really feel so that you're out here rather than being here you're out here there's a real you there rather than this which is not the real you only this is going to be attracted to abuse this is not attracted to abuse because is he doing other stuff do you think narcissism or psychopathy is a type of cancer of the mind turn about the idea of it not being curable or treated it seems too definitive I don't know about the idea they're not being curable or treated and I don't know how useful cancer is you know as a metaphor or you know cells attacking cells in the wrong place I don't I don't know how how useful metaphor that is but yeah I don't think it's so useful to think of it as being non curable you know sure and if the circumstance is right who knows what could be done do you think someone in their 40s can heal from C PTSD I think anybody can heal from C PTSD at any age does healing PTSD and becoming emotionally literate mean that we would be able to undo the retarded intelligence caused by abuse and PTSD yes if you I presume like if you mean retarded as in the sense of the true meaning like held back delayed and made tardy then yes yeah a definite myself we're you know three four years ago got even 18 months ago make decisions I go that's just not an intelligent decision that just was a bad idea that was simply not a smart thing to do and I know that and I know that I knew that at the time that data was available to me but see PTSD for forces us but compels us to do strange things okay I Richard just want to say thank you for your nuggets of information no problem at all last question will be is an emotional literacy also just a step towards desensitizing ourselves to the trauma and those feelings huh no no desensitization if it worked it would have worked for all of us were all very skilled at desensitizing ourselves if anything this will recent eyes you to your feelings but it will sensitize you in a way that means that you can start to trust you feelings again and not treat your feelings as the enemy I think that's probably a good point from its knock on don't treat your feelings as the enemy treat your emotions as your allies and let them work for you which is all they've ever wanted to do on that note I'm going to stop there thank you very much for your time and your attention and I look forward to each will again soon thank you somebody just call me a deck the internet what are you going to do YouTube comments

25 thoughts on “Emotional Literacy as a the Unexpected Gateway to Healing CPTSD”

  1. This is WHY we feel like life is just mysteriously harder for us than other people. It's the pervasive, collective effects of THIS crap here. le sigh

  2. I couldn't make it through the intro without bawling, my biggest fear is dealing with my emotions. Rainbows and Unicorns ONLY! My body is shutting down so I knew I had to face my fear and learn that the fear won't kill me but not dealing with it will.

  3. This is so fascinating. Little hard to come thru/out of an EF, or to change states on my own but listening, and terms, like "chit storm" make me laugh (at myself which is a relief). Thank you Richard.

  4. I like the term, emotionally illiterate, a reduction of emotion to only a few. It is less judgmental than other ways of thinking of (myself) in a low state. Helps me get out of feeling bad about feeling bad. ✩♡✩♡✩

  5. Thanks, Richard! This is great stuff, and in fact, there is so much material for me here I am reviewing it over and over and I am hearing more every time. I'm currently battling the CPTSR and disassociating, and this is a new video for me. Thank you so much for putting these out on You tube….Dude, you totally saved me, I didn't know anything about narcs or cptsd or any of this stuff you are addressing. I will do the exercises and see if something changes. I'm sending you every good wish!

  6. Iam working on this right now. I still feel so detached from me. I am having trouble connecting back to myself . I feel dead and just coming out of being in a seven year locked room.

  7. A prime number is only divisable by itself and 1, i.e. prime numbers are the building blocks of other numbers, in a sense… well thats kind of a hand wavey way to put it, idk if a mathematician would say that actually… just a math minor here. I am not sure if I am emotionally attached to each number lol that is something to think about.

  8. I've watched and rewatched this several times, I've never considered emotional intelligence from this angle before. Yet it's so logical and has given me insight, a new perspective that has really opened my mind. Kind of scary and liberating at the same time. I have terrible memory and it explains a lot. I can do this… Thank you Richard for the guidance and the humorous delivery that makes something fucking awful a little more bearable.

  9. / March 20 2019/ watched this video & received great direction on how to reincorporate my emotional responses 💚 into daily life 🧑🏻 Feeling encouraged & revitalized 🌼

  10. I have ghosted a lot in my life. I've ghosted my step-dad, I've ghosted bosses, even friends if they are being pushy, I cant handle some things, I'm also disabled. Ghosting is bad, I agree, but sometimes people make it very hard to continue communication. I've now gone no contact with my step-dad but I don't communicate with people enough to ghost them anymore. I still have my friends but we rarely speak or meet. I am focusing on fixing me though, due to my fear of affecting others with my mental illnesses.

  11. I remember being a kid and being able to switch off my emotions if something bad happened, like a light switch just turn them off. It was like a super power.

  12. Wish I'd found this sooner… But I'm gradually working my way thru your totally awesome vids. This one totally hits me where it hurts; my cptsd seems to be getting worse, and I'm guessing this is due to my having a much depleted emotional repertoire- I lose more positive emotional ground every time I get shit on. Time to get a pen and start thinking…. It can only compliment my med free therapy… Thanks Richard. You are a breath of fresh air in a dark nightmare struggle. ☮️

  13. When listening to the topic of this video I can't help it think of the movie Inside Out. That movie in a way that was easy for children to see and understand as well as adults, basically depicted exactly what he's talking about in this video. If you haven't seen that movie take some time to watch it and think about what he's talking about in this video and you will see what I mean.

  14. Know what? Not for nothing, and with due respect to this channel and its viewers, but as we say in NJ, some of this stuff is a real stretch. Maybe a stretch to gather in as many people who can categorize themselves under a certain diagnosis. One really needs to be careful and learn to be aware that not all thoughts, feelings, behaviors are symptoms of illnesses, especially some of these attractively exotic ones. We all want to belong to some sort of group. So we develop names for them and associate values with mental and emotional health as states required for membership… and it all looks and feels very cool. Then you realize you're walking around with paranoia b/c you've allowed yourself to be categorized into fragments of abnormal societies… Incel, MGTOW, Feminist, Aspergers, Autist, Borderline, Disassociative, Schizoid, Bipolar, ADHD, Depressive, etc, etc…. It's all right to describe ourselves as having something or another issue, but I am not sure that these categories which tend to bring us into group affiliation, is actually helpful. We begin to identify more with our illness/emotional group than with mainstream society. I like the idea of calling all of these things CPTSD, as Richard Grannon has been using as a term. The fact that so many people are seeking medical help (or would like to) for their emotional difficulties (many of them on Rx to help alleviate their symptoms) proves that this shouldn't be a club to join and exclude ourselves from the rest of society, or to feel like we've got something more special, more crazy going on than the other person. Certainly, we have all met well-adjusted, quiet, mature-minded people of status and prestige, who have important career positions, in our lives, who then we discover are more bat-shit crazy in their private quarters when no one else but their spouse or children are around to see them go off the wall. I have witnessed this on numerous occasions, and it describes exactly the concept that "rich people are eccentric, poor people are crazy." Some people regulate so very well, that they are PhD's, medical doctors, lawyers, academics, political leaders, government officials, leaders in their community or churches, etc, etc. All I'm saying is —–> DON'T SELL YOURSELF SHORT. You might not be as bad as you think you are, and this kind of stuff can be very attractive when we spend too much time inside our heads and not enough time finding productive things to do in the neighborhood around us, outside the door.

  15. Hi Richard and thank you. Once again you nailed another nb characteristic of a Narcissist. My ex N is a member of Mensa. As you say – they can recall tomes but things that matter to others as in emotional content have no significance in terms of memory.

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