BTT # 27: Life Lessons From High Achievers

all right welcome back for episode number 27 before the train wreck the series where my clinical psychologist academic friend joins me as we help guys unscrew their lives or at least try to avoid potential train wrecks I do and Shawn good I'm doing good I heard you had a good week had an incredible week we took off last week if you guys didn't notice you know those you that might be newer the channel I did a three thousand kilometer rally across the states we started in Toronto when Toronto Detroit Cincinnati Nashville st. Louis Chicago and then I hopped on a plane and I flew back and I shipped the car back but it was a lot of fun it was a lot more fun than I thought it would be it was crazy so when you ship an r8 is that FedEx is at US Mail what do you do I honestly the place that we were gonna meet the guy to ship the car I thought it was gonna be one of those open wheel trailers you see them deliver cars at dealerships at where they're kind of stack with all vinyl on it sort of thing but it was a closed trailer so I drove right by it it's one of those like Nightrider trailers remember that from like you know the Nightrider days where kit would kind of drive into the back sort of thing I'm really myself now of course did you have to drive into a wall it was moving like no no I just got out of the car like literally I did throw him the keys I'd sign something and get on uber to get to the airport didn't even have time to do anything but yeah they take care of everything for you they just shut the car back and you pick it up at the yard but it was it was a fun experience man there's there was there was 85 cars registered 159 people if you if you follow me on Instagram that's that's where I did all the post so if you guys want to see them go there there's a bunch of pictures or some videos and stuff and some highlight reels that I shared it was incredible fun I mean if you have I always say you know you know if you find yourself in rooms where you're the smartest guy in the room you're in the wrong room right so I always try to put myself in an environment where I'm not the smartest guy in the room and yeah and our eights a nice card some people might say well that's a very expensive car and I'll never be able to afford one of those things but there was guys there were like 750 thousand eight hundred thousand dollar cars right and they've got some interesting stories to tell right it it takes a lot to it doesn't take as much as you think to get there but it takes work it takes doing the work too there which is pretty cool so this is what intrigued me you had a Twitter post earlier this week I guess we call those tweets correct and it was in intrigued me because you were talking about some of the guys that you were hanging with so I was really curious about who these guys are what you learn from a what did they talk about in terms of life life lessons and so forth most of it was a lot of car talk it was a lot of we're just complete petrol heads let's see how fast we can go let's see how many times we can dodge the police like we have five layer layers of security you know as we were driving with radar scanners and laser jammers and all sorts of stuff you know handheld radios and everything but like the conversations in the evening about so what are the cars have you driven you know where do you live sort of thing what do you do for a living that's when you start kind of peeling back the layers and you start to hear them tell tell you stories about how how they got to where they got to and the struggles and the things that they came up against and I mean like a lot of the times it has to do with some really bad choices that that that they make in their lives when it comes to the social marketplace you know when it comes to the women that they choose to bring you know if I mean let's let's do the quick pitch you know for your book cuz we always got to mention this on every single broadcast I mean your summary in the back of the book is you know something along the lines I can remember if it's on the front cover on the back summer but it's like you know the right woman can really improve your life and the wrong one can really you know throw it for a tailspin and some of these guys made some really bad choices when it came to money when he came to the women they brought into the lives and the value they brought they didn't assess it you know they didn't see the impending trainwreck coming that we often talk about on these on these series I mean we've done 27 of them now yeah and I was curious cuz you know when you meet somebody who's pretty high achiever usually they've had to burn it down and start over at least a couple of times oh yeah oh yeah there's there's a few raise it right down to the ground like burn it right to the ground and restart I mean there's a few those stories at least in everybody's life and they've gone from hero to zero back up to hero again and you wouldn't know it you know because they pull up in a brand-new $500,000 McLaren 720s Spyder right it's a gorgeous car I mean Maya rates fast it's got 600 horsepower but it can't help hold a candle of one of these things on the highway like it makes my car look like a Prius yeah so we'll be taking calls here in a minute but I wanted to UM what what were the hardest lessons like did guys loosen up a little bit and talk about some of the hard lessons they learned in life yeah yeah a lot of burns when it came to who they chose to let into their inner circle with business partners and women and business partners are people that they often thought were their friends or they even might have been long-term friends with them but as soon as money can potentially trump the front the friendship or the ROI of the money can trump the friendship in a way that's the cost-benefit analysis to them makes sense to burn their friend it happens to guys a lot and you know the difference with women is they don't really look at it from that perspective it's just everything that has to do with family law with cohabitation it just works out of their favor and there's so like there was one guy in the rally that bought a house with his girlfriend she was older than him so my mom a bunch of kids and it's like he can't even like he can't even get the house sold he can't get in the market he had the locks changed the locks changed on the house on him I mean there's a lot of you know stories that you get out of these conversations when you're eating and you're drinking you're having a laugh at night time when you're off the road but it's like a lot of this stuff guys could really avoid if they spent some time thinking like if they put half the amount of time that they do into vetting their next super car into a relationship they'd be far better off really it's it's you know it's that simple yeah you had a one guy on there that apparently had on your Instagram or Twitter feed worried he had apparently done very well and he was an asbestos lawyer oh yeah we got invited to a private residence in st. Louis that was owned by an asbestos lure so we don't open up his property to the public so this is publicly no this isn't you know private or anything like that and there was probably at least 300 people on his property easily 150 cars from visitors plus he had another 50 cars in his in his own private collection which he had parked everywhere like he probably had about 25 to 30 million dollars worth of supercars exotics just peppered everywhere and you know the keys to his house were just hoping he goes yeah I just go in and have a look around so everybody just kind of walk into his house and just checking out you know the bedrooms the kitchen everything like that and asbestos lawyers do very well I mean you know if they know what they're doing and they've got a good practice you can make a ton of money I always say you know professions that'll make you a ton of money will be c-level jobs when you're running high-level organizations and professional jobs things like accountants you know well tax accountants tax lawyers you know lawyers and you know partners in law firms things like that like even even those higher end professional designations when you hear some of these guys are making 500 600 700 dollars an hours they're not the ones that are living in 13 million-dollar residences with full stone brick surfaces on the outside and and slate roof tiles with 30 million dollars worth of Ferraris these are like partners and law firms that are doing multi-million like tens hundreds of million dollar deals and lawsuits with these with these firms to basically liquidate you know funds for damages I mean using quotations for those of you that are listening on the podcast a mesothelioma is real buddy it is yeah that's what I hear we've got some glory why do you want to do you want to keep rapping about the rally man I could do it all night want to start taking one more one more question where there any main takeaways you got from these guys do the work just you know what a lot of these guys they're no different than you and I or anybody else calls in and you know I put on Instagram earlier today I said something like I know there's a post something along the lines about updating your beliefs and there is a number of guys that commented on that post like yeah yeah but how do you update your beliefs like I don't like I don't know where to start dude just start I mean you can find the answers there's there's books everywhere I've got shelves of books over here in the other room there's answers online I've got a deep video in my men's community that I talked about how to update your belief system updating your belief system is very simple you just unplug what doesn't work for you like when you update your software on your phone for example you're just doing a software update and you go to version 3.0 one seven well if 3.0 one seven sucks and it doesn't work for you you're getting crappy results out of it go to 3.0 one eight and that new belief system that new operating system will get you better results it's just you doing the work you recognizing that you have to do the work on yourself to believe new things that will get you better results and then just go out and do the man these guys are no different than you and I they're really really good people they're really good people that are that are so generous you know with their with their time man there was that there was kids like we would go to lunch and this was the best part like you'd go to lunch and you have all these super cars and there's kids that would come out and it had they're freaking out nostra shit and it's like you know some guy with a brand new car be like yes you know sit it and start it up and rev it up and see how you like it and he's like the big like the big shit-eating grin on his face like you made his day right like these are really good people I have this optimistic belief that you don't really do well in life unless you're doing good in life and you do good on a big scale and big things are gonna happen yeah and as far as doing the work you know they a lot of guys get people you're hung up on well I don't know how to do it I don't know what I don't know how to make this thing work just do it you don't know how to make a youtube video just do it you don't have to start a business just just get it wrong whatever it is you want to do just start doing it you'll figure it out how do you how do you eat an elephant one bite at a time you just start doing it right I mean you figure I mean I like I press the same upload button that Casey nice that does its it's there it's the same button you and I press the same button Sean you know whatever you do it's peers a higher quality than his just just do it though right alright so let's go to these collars we have some guys coming up in the line the guest Colin lined is three two three six four two one six one eight again a friendly reminder guys it shows before the train wreck Sean and I got together at an event and one of the things that we really wanted to do was to put a dent in the universe for guys out there that are making really bad choices quite often they're they're coming to us after they've made a train wreck out of their lives and they want us to create a time machine and send them back to a time where they can go and fix those things what we're trying to do with the show again so when you're calling and this isn't the how do we get girl show or anything like that this is the I got my spidey senses tingling rich and Shawn and this is a scenario what you know what can I do better to maybe vet this scenario so I don't end up in a potential train wreck it doesn't necessarily have to be around women you want to talk about business or money we can you know we can explore a few other rabbit holes too but it seems to be like most guys are orbiting around the notion of well this is what I'm doing with my soon-to-be ex or my ex-girlfriend what do you guys think what do you think Shawn what do you think rich and we'll kind of dive into that so let's hop over to calls let's go with exchange six nine zero I'm gonna throw you on the air six nine zero all right you're on the air going once going twice hello yes hi hello other one I could good just turn down the volume on whatever you got running in the background in case you're getting feedback somewhere else there's always a bit of a delay hey I'm good all right yes of course quite a question about coaching it's like we're talking about like high excellence and stuff like that and I've been thinking about getting coaching with you but it's like I've got things in my life that I'm actively working on like the big thing that I'm kind of like working on right now is building a tribe of men and just people in general that are around me that I really like and respect but I'm also wondering it's like should I just get the work done of like what I know I need to do and then wait for coaching or should I have coaching kind of in the process of doing that you can't know what I mean no and I'm not clear on the question so I think that that that I would start there I mean if you're going to present your idea to somebody you want to make sure that it makes sense within like three floors going up an elevator like I always call it the elevator pitch right you got like three or four floors broadcaster idea so take it from the top again distill it what is that you're trying to do what what problem are you trying to solve um so a BP just trying to build like a badass life like if he's striving for excellence making a life that I enjoy I love living and so I kind of realized that going through the subscriber goal setting program but the biggest part that I was missing was kind of like the community it's like I scored like a 2 to 10 on that and I'm like oh fuck like it really helped if I like these improves like if this improved it would improve my dating and that it improved my friendships I was like okay I need to like build this community around me but kind of like in flowing for my social life hmm okay are you my men's community by the way yep okay there is a join link there use that next time cuz that's because that's the best way to get in the front of line but but but first of all I mean I'm still not clear on what it is you're trying to solve like you want to build a badass life and a community of men like what is the purpose of that like what is a mission well I really like having like high openness conversations like I like talking about ideas I like people around me who like to talk about ideas and I like to have people who are actually doing stuff in their lives they're actually leaders and they're taking control and so it's like that's what I'm actually working in doing and kind of like one of the end goals is that is like I'd like to build a side income from doing coaching because like I think like my number one strength is basically taking like high performers and taking them to the next level and basically just doing that through strategic for thought for like planning the future and what kind of marketing they need to do and how do they need to change their sales process how many times have you done that don't have a burden of success what how many times have you done that you have a proven track record of success you have raving fans behind you yep so it's like with my mom I recently like it's actually like I wrote her bad for a rub-and-tug massage and so she does that and she basically went from Costco making $11 an hour part-time and she's just gonna be this financial freak like train wreck that I was gonna have to solve now she makes like $300 or $350 per client for two hour session and she's booked for about two or three clients per day wherever she wants to go I mean you said you said Robin hug a massage is not what it sounds like can you just repeat that you said rub and tug massage is that what it sounds like mmm yeah as in as in happy ending exactly so you wrote a business plan for your mom to do rub and tug massages I wrote an ad for her if she'd already decide to do it on her own and basically like she had just like a terrible ad that was just like it was god-awful and I kind of like have some basic copywriting experience and so I wrote the ad for her because she's really good at it she's like he's been like into energy work and healing and she's really sensual and like a very good touch her she gives like amazing massages meaning kinda like it's like her kind of niche in the world that's been amazing and for that I'm gonna let that call go cuz that sounds like a lot of BS to me what do you think Sean yeah pimping out his mom does nice yeah I was a little skeptical of that as soon as I heard that I'm like dude like first of all I could join link in my men's community to join live here on the Hangout if you're in the community and this dude is not in my space I'm not having conversations about pimping out your mom to rub and tugs guys smarten up all right we got another caller here on the line anonymous jump on what's up anonymous jump on can you hear me okay okay if you guys are gonna call in with a block line it's gonna show up as anonymous so when I say anonymous you say hey rich what's going on let's try exchanged six eight nine okay six eight nine you're on the air hello hello hello hello hey what's up this is Dex you have a question yeah yeah yeah so yeah basically moved from London to I've been travelling for a while and uh hanging out now in America before I'm a storyteller okay and so I you know made a lot of books in the past and it's all a learning curve but essentially I'm working quite a lot of hours now and I also go full hog on it I could probably in maybe six months from now make maybe 5k in savings but the thing is it's not very motivating to go that path so in the past I've done assets and books and I was really learning the class and made mistakes here and there I was wondering if maybe a pattern is not good is that maybe I should focus more on nine-to-five even if it's so draining save money and then when I have the money saved up holder use that to invest in in books already one it's 21 sorry 31 31 and you're living and you're travelling north america or do you have like a work visa here turn down the volume on had the highways visa so going about another team i left over okay do me a favor turn down the volume on the broadcast in the background cuz you're getting some feedback and i'm hearing it so you got a couple more months on the work visa and what's the purpose like if i have a magic wand that I can wave here to solve your problem what does that look like for you is what I'm looking to do I the path I've created is this I'm gonna basically work and so I have enough money I can keep traveling as six months in Colombia for here keep traveling maybe I have a 200-pound saved up but nothing major I basically pull my energy into Korean I have about maybe seven eight different books that are completely outlined some cases they're almost fully written keep buying them so I have the assets at the end of maybe two years from now and then one of the books I much prefer to say what are the books one will be running on these are red pill fiction stories red pill fiction and how do those so well when I started releasing them as well I was learning the process of other advertisement and marketing so I'll get like a couple of thousand page reads on Kindle and then kind of made mistakes here and there so I kind of took them off few them are still online where do you know if not wait I have an audience somewhere you have an email list to create YouTube videos you have a like a blog like who do you market your books too yeah I think that's misses you once that's the couple of months ago mmm I had a channel especially still up while analyzing movies from a Red Bull perspective all right why just yeah yeah yeah I just had to focus cuz I was traveling I had to get my money together to maintain traveling so now I have a bit of a window open okay well this doesn't sound like much of a before the train wreck thing but I mean what you're asking is how do i how do i sell these books how do i put them in front of the audience no the question is more is it is it wise to focus on assets before you have a solid income from your nine-to-five attention every Locker but attention attention attention 100% it's always attention attention is what you need to sell what it is that you got so if you have nobody's attention right there's no point in creating any sort of content so you know these insta-tox that go on and they sell like like energy drink teas and things like that the reason why they're selling them is because they have an audience of people buying their stuff you know there is a there is a gamer girl on the other week that's selling her bathwater the only reason why people are buying the crap that she sells because she has an audience of fans that watch her gamer stuff on Twitch or whatever does it she broadcasts on so my view wanted is always about having the attention of someone that being said I mean you can still write great content but not have the attention of very many people it's just it's not gonna go very far you're not gonna sell it right hmm I'm thinking the kind of Robert Greene mastery token kind of route where you create something that cannot be replicated and that is is very very high quality you know that he basically is I guys in a way that's grown or you speak to an audience that is clearly there right so I know you will find anyway Pope content scale all red pill content whatever content it is that you want to write or whatever's that you want to create you have to have the attention of people if you're gonna sell them something you have to have the attention but you have to have an audience have a youtube channel have an lists have a blog that you're writing have a customer list something right Shawn you have any thoughts on that I mean like you wrote a great book yeah I wrote a great book and I didn't have a lot of attention but I had some credentials and that allowed me to get some attention so I think it's just backing up what you said you gotta get the attention at some point and that's how Shawn like Shawn didn't have the attention of you know tens of thousands people on an email list but I had the attention of people he sent me a copy of his book out of the blue and said hey man I'd like you to check out my book I'm a clinical psychologist this is why I wrote it I picked it up read ten pages and I kept going and you know until I put it down and then I contacted and I said hey dude let's you know let's get together and and talk so that's another way to do it right because he's got the credentials too but if you don't have the credentials if you're a young guy and you haven't really put that dent in the universe you don't have like a proven track record of success you want to build an audience for sure of course yeah one last thing I'm on the same point here real quick so there's like general fundamentals of business is it always pretty can do this anyway but it's a wise thing to forego them you know getting savings from a nine-to-five like relentlessly before you start trying to build assets with it working I'm not a big fan of working for anybody nine-to-five for any long period of time yeah yeah looking so high like well I like five like five years in that work you have five years max you know getting in the workforce you know get into corporations whatever area or feel that interests you and look for opportunities in that and then I would go and find a way to build a business create information sell it to them find some kind of service to solve a problem that people are suffering in that space if you're attentive while you're doing there and you just don't go in and punch a clock and punch out and leave at the end of the day and go home and get high and play your video games if you're attentive to what you're doing and there's lots of problems there's lots of low hanging fruit everywhere that's how I created my first debt business right was I worked in a collection agency I saw the problems you know within that how there was literally millions of people with tons of debt that they weren't paying off and it's like a very very low success rate with the agency it's like okay well how do you make those two things kind of work better and I found a way to kind of marry them up and create a business out of it so if you're gonna go work for somebody make sure there's a good ROI not that you're just going there to make your $2,000 a month to pay around because what's the point in that cool yeah all right man yeah all right just nice all right real quick we've got a super chat here what is your opinion of nootropics are you familiar would do with new nootropics sean no help me out nootropics one of the most common ones are is it modafinil modafinil is the one I can't remember what the other prescriptive name is for it but it but it's basically a focus truck Tim Ferriss talks about it in some of his books I think he used it when he was writing the 4-hour chef it's used in the Olympics it's funny because the the prescriptions actually for narcolepsy so people that fall asleep so all of a sudden a lot of these Olympic runners would develop a narcolepsy and their doctors were prescribed these nootropics to them to help them focus on what it is that they're doing they work they're very powerful I've used modafinil before I use it sometimes I'm writing if I really want to get to like a deep like groove and what it is that I'm putting out the problem with it though is if you get distracted easily you know notifications on your phone or video games all it'll help you do is they'll get you really focused on your distraction so you have to have the willpower to stay focused on the work that you're doing so that's that's my take on those anyway you have to be very careful with them I think maybe the reason I don't know much about them is because I tend to have a foot in the medical world and when I'm talking to people about medications it's usually medications that have been approved by the FDA and so forth and so the things that are outside of that tend to be I just don't have a lot of knowledge about them yeah okay guys Colin lines are open we got some people in queue three two three six four two one six one eight think about your question when you go alive you want to be able to present it in a distilled form you know you got the attention Sean and I probably five ten minutes tops let's see if we could be useful to you let's go two three four six you're coming on the air three four six exchange three four six what's up yeah fire away man you have a question oh great yeah please oh yeah I found you about a month ago at my pretty girlfriend Penofin watch some videos I think that I think I've gotta fall into a bad a bad pattern here I just wanted to get get some opinions on it um so I haven't as a habit of the site my friend's car project girlfriends you know like I mean you just didn't get this we want online dates and that sort of stuff I problem for the work for years and you know I had brings when I was out but when I come back and rely on online dating but basically I would go out with girls that as long as I saw that they had some some sort of discipline even if they were you know kind of heavier head you know had issues I would I would have I would pay them as fixer-uppers and put like a year into him and then just realize it's going nowhere and come from but my my my thought process resolving you know hey you know if I saw some pictures used to be good-looking you have something in your life where you're obviously you have some form discipline you're not a complete train wreck you know like if I help them get back on track then like they'll be the enemy you know and that was kind of always my you know like they'll be super loyal right it was kind of a the thought process and how does that work how do you I couldn't panning out well for the most part I've actually broke most of them off because you know they they actually just not make any progress in their own life and I just feel like they're staffing all my energy for self-improvement you know so ok that's kind of that so I believe as the bull and not not committed to any that you know aren't showing any reciprocity but well it sounds like you're like you're playing captain save old man you know you've heard that phrase before right yeah we're just gonna water it down a little bit so you're playing captain save woman right why do you think you do that yep well I mean I'm I'm decent guy but I'm only five foot eight my family short I always try to get my heights or higher and like I want kids or dollars I don't know I just know he's probably a little bit of you know I don't store manthang and going up you know well it's not particular yeah we've got to have like look at five foot eights not particularly short I mean five foot five five foot four four do too short five foot eight is kind of like it's it's not what most women are looking for if they're vetting online on dating sites because they always seem to go for six foot plus but you're trying to compensate for what you think is a discrepancy and your height by by doing things to you know this is called choreplay basically is what it is right what do you think Shawn yeah it sounds like you it sounds like you're trying to compensate you're trying to bring something in the relationship because you don't think that you're bringing something that is of value unless you're serving these women so why are you doing that I'm trying to create loyalty I think the biggest part you know today I have a feeling that I'm gonna get dumped anyway yeah yeah so we're kind of going to circles there because we're all saying the same thing that you're doing this to compensate in to create loyalty and so forth so are you still doing it and what's your plan with the strategy I think I'm done after this last one so that I'm just kind of kind of a little with less but it's like instinct at this point you know like I I just want to go out but I want I don't go for girls that already have some stuff going for him I go for girls that you know like hey she used to be high she did down in the dumps but fix or out the mention no but I'm pretty much sure I'm done with it but I just not really sure what that's so is the question what do you replace that with go ahead rich this is a good one man cuz I heard this one the other day it's it's like the equivalent of buying a car fixing it up not driving it keep it in your garage nice and clean and tidy so that the next guy that buys it will be able to have all the fun with it right it's like not driving your car how the hell did he put it you put it something like it's like not banging your girlfriend's so you can keep her tight for the next guy right that's basically what you're talking about you know with these fixer-uppers it's almost like you want to improve them and then send them back out on the dating mark and it's like you're surprised that they're that they're leaving you that they're not like women are not loyal you know to begin with they're only as loyal as their options really is what it boils down to at the end of the day and that's not a disparaging statement it's just an observation based on facts that I've seen well so hey what's your plan on what you're gonna replace this old strategy with well I said I'm kind of a I'm kind of a month into the whole you know we read changing our review the world you know I like that I just found you guys a month ago I just got the rest for me I'm about halfway through it maybe no so I'm kind of oh okay I'm not exactly sure what I need to change exactly okay I have I have some ideas obviously you know and like I mean I've definitely caught on to some the general trend you know as far as yeah you know it's it's not what you've done in the past and girls don't want to go with go go through something with you you know because I did you know like it wasn't just fixing them up I was like okay I mean if I got in much better shape because I'm in decent shape my shapes and let's throw them an alibi I had a feeling I could you go through something together that there's like that bond men have you know like that I was actually very I think that's noticing like my closest friends and military buddies and I really known him for four years that we went through something I always had this idea that if we experience something right like we changed on being our life together yeah that's not that's not how it works with women though I mean have you followed me unsocial you've probably heard me say women don't care about your struggle they hang out of the finish line and they picked the winners yeah well and it's also that's a very male way of thinking about relationships cuz that's how guys work you join the military you do things with other guys you're bonded with those guys for life males and females you just operate a little differently in that in that sphere so maybe there's a third option here like maybe you can hang back for a bit and maybe you don't have to do anything with women maybe you can you just kind of soak up some information get yourself an order a little more just to just observe for a while what do you think about that option dog we like you a paddleboard in one of the league's here we've got a little attention ladies out there you know I anything that and and yeah don't let 5:8 bug you don't let 5:8 bug you cuz there's lots of gorgeous like five foot to five foot three women though that are like way too short for six foot tall guys like they're way too small and they're ideal for a guy your height and you discounting yourself based on a couple of numbers aligning to five foot eight thinking you've got to do a lot of chore pate play to win them over and fix them up and then you know put them up put them back out there better than you know what they were when you met him yeah you ever heard of the the concept of relationship equity no okay so let me explain it so a lot of guys think that you know the like I'll give you a really good example at a coaching call last week this guy you know he wife's at this woman that he left two bits did the choreplay she wanted the $50,000 bathroom renovation he did it she wanted the $20,000 crystal chandelier he puts it up himself she wants this it's like yes yes yes he just keeps stamping everything yes yes yes you know whatever you want honey and he figured at some point doing all those things he was gonna build up enough relationship equity in the relationship that there was going to be withdrawals that he could make from it but he never got them yeah there is no relationship equity with women like you don't build it up it's not like a depository system like you know you go and work and you save some money you put in the bank and you make a withdrawal when you feel like you need it it just doesn't work that way so you got to get that concept out of your head and just understand that you know like women aren't good or bad they're just women it's just they operate a lot differently than what we've been programmed to believe that they operate how old are you 40 actually 40 and have you ever been married nope I travelled to work at it I started up no there you and I there was Hershel diving okay so okay so here's your's I watched you take take Shaun's advice go in a monk mode for a bit I don't know what that looks like for you maybe at six months whatever that might look like for you you know if you like what you need to do is update your beliefs you need to update your understanding of the dynamics between what works between men and women rational male book series is a great place to start I always recommend the first two books at least three or four times and most guys Shaun's tactical guide to women those are no more mr. nice guy and no more yeah yeah no more mr. nice guy is another great book I got that on my shelf over here we actually did an episode with Robert Glover we'll probably bring them on again that's his book you can grab that off Amazon there's an audible version as well that's a great book so add that to your reading list you got six months to dive into then update your beliefs you know if you want to call in again in the future you got questions you want to vet on but work on yourself man like stop stop trying to save women and work on make like making you your own mental point of origin you don't have seen yep yep all right real quick for you if I can give you as a compliment um and so when I start digging into this and I started mentioning it a lot of my friends say I'm getting a lot of pushback what that means is like when they hear you know oh the red pill blue pill that means that the outside world is aware and they're like trying to build up a defense so obviously even my friends that are completely completely outside of the sphere of at least heard of you guys you know or was this this um this movement so it's definitely yeah everybody knows on some level which kind of surprised me when I start bringing stuff up people II know you're making a damn universe so thanks man I appreciate it yeah all right take care yep all right they just quickly check the chat to make sure I'm not missing any super chats here could we go in here from zouzou can't pronounce it anyway he says any suggested framework to vet a wife and kids Thanks I don't understand that question he's vetting I think he's I think he's asking how do you vet for a woman for like wife stock I think and that's really what your books about what tactical guide that's that's the framework right there we read that book right yeah I'll sum it up in a sentence have high standards and take a long time to get to know her there you go I have high standards and take a long time to get to know her beautiful alright let's go back to the lines are open 3 2 3 6 4 2 1 6 1 8 I'm gonna go to exchange 4 7 0 make sure you got your audio turned down in the background if you're listening to this on a broadcast alright 4 7 0 you're on hey can you guys hear me loud and clear hello ok hey so here's my issue I feel like I'm 32 years old and I am a real estate investor 26 and I own a couple apartment buildings now I have a good residual income I basically done everything that not everything but no a lot of things that we need to talk about whether you guys talk about on the show of striving towards and I'm in pretty good shape and right now my problem is I am wondering when do I get around to start living so once you do reach a certain level of achievement and if you're in really good shape and AB City I'm doing spec home building as well and when do you start to kind of let go and maybe travel or do some of those other things too though right now my problem is I have no interest to do any those things I just want to continue to work like 35 ok and what's wrong with that like why are you asking why well like when do I start living and really enjoy working a wake up alright what with that so my question is why is your question when do I start living if you really enjoy working well so my fear is it's a fear-based thing my fear is to wake up and be in my 40s not have a whites not have any kids which I don't care to have right now but to look back and go well I should have made some time for that maybe wake up and be maybe I wake up and I'm 50 and I have I haven't done any traveling nothing like that okay so you want to avoid what I'm hearing things I just want to continue like running on a hamster wheel almost okay but what I'm hearing you say is that you want to travel so why don't you just carve out time in your year like just block off two weeks and this month and like a week here and then you know book the trips like I booked a trip for next I well just just probably where did that poorly rich ok but just hear me out for second thing ok but just hear me out for a second I'm just going to use my own example miss can use my own exam player so I mean like you're talking about living so like for me like I really like to do adventures I'm not that concerned with like shit like I don't give a crap about a 10,000 square-foot house whatever with slate tiles like you know it's interesting to look at and the car collection was fun to check out but my thing is about experiences so I saw about two weeks ago a friend of mine booked a trip to this mastermind adventure which is in Greenland next June June's like a year off okay I actually booked at about 12 months in advance $10,000 event I paid off in full booked the trip I already know that I'm going it's blocked off for those days and I know that in June that's where I'm gonna be at that time I've always wanted to see like 24 hour Sun you know with no sunset you know check out the entire environment do the kayaking with the icebergs and all that kind of shit so I know that that's there it's carved that on my schedule up until that point I'll be working my ass off I'll be doing things that that that charged me up I'll get out of bed I'll leap out of bed every morning and I'll do it and passionate though so my take on it is if you don't want to miss out on life then you have to make time for it dude like if you know that you love your real-estate investment and it's a big passion of yours and you want to you know make Bank you want to build the nest egg if wife and kids is something that you want to do later on down the road cool but you have to carve out time for you to see the world to experience things and I'm gonna shut up and pass it off to Sean cuz I know he's got some thoughts on seeing the world too so good yeah I like seeing the world well it's fun world's interesting but I like this question because this is this is a question about values and what I'm hearing in your question is it sounds like you feel like your values are a little bit out of balance so how important is it for you to have kids someday I don't know right now I don't know how I don't know how important it is my fear is waking up and realizing that it is very important and going man I just have my head down this entire time and you know I have an incredible income and house or whatever and I can travel at this point but it had a lot harder time going back I don't want to be a dad at 50 years old you said you were t2 you got all the kinds of times you know that your sexual market value is hasn't even peaked yet you got another decade to go you don't have to figure this out today do you feel like you got to figure it out today so you don't have these regrets later no I wanted to ask this is the question I guess just for because it's something that I know is going to be a question in my future possibly if I continue this rose I'm looking a fair amount down the road I realize I do have time but I'm just wondering at some point do you force yourself to do some of these more because I kind of look at these things like kind of kind of Normie type activities you know to go travel and hikes and all that stuff and these are things I don't care to do but I wonder will I regret not doing them someday it's almost like the opposite of stuff let's say somebody all they want to do is experiences in their life I don't care about making a baby and then they get to like 50 and they go man I wish I would have put my head too you know I would put my head down and worked really hard so my dilemma is almost the exact opposite of that where I'm wondering man should I make some time for these things now so I don't wake up and have no right right gotcha so I think that Rich's got some good advice that one way to figure out what your values are is to try stuff and you're at an age where you should be trying stuff so you enjoy work so keep doing work but I think it's probably you know it's an interesting thought and a good thought to actually carve out some time to force yourself to I don't know plunk yourself down in the middle of China and see what I'm even not China there's some travel restrictions right now but plunk yourself down in the middle of someplace and just see if you can sink or swim you know to get some adventures cuz you don't sound like somebody who really wants to get on a greyhound and tour the country you sound like somebody if you're gonna travel you're gonna want to do something interesting and outside the norm is that right yeah I would I would say so I would think so I don't know I mean like I said I don't really have a desire to do these things so that's that was my question should I force myself to try things do you ever travel for really no interest in doing them I just want to continue working do you ever travel for work do you got over conferences do you have lenders or bankers or anybody that you need to meet around the country just just in my state okay well I mean the world's a big place and there's interesting people out there and cultures and dynamics between them and how they all work and like it like you want to have a you want to have a good scope of the way that the universe works and you know when I say universe I'm talking about planet Earth right I mean look you want to get a scope of the way that that yeah that sapiens operate because our because their species is all over the damn planet and we're invasive with it there's like all kinds of stuff you know behind the story of sapiens it's a great book if you haven't never read it but like just like you're obviously feeling like you're missing something but at the same time you're also going but I really like what I'm doing and I want to make Bank and I want to put a dent in the universe and I really like doing this but that's cool too right I mean if you enjoyed that do that but ask yourself this this question I lose track of time when and then fill in the blank like I lose track of time when I'm hanging out with awesome people like I lose track of time when I'm driving fast cars I lose track of time doing interesting things with awesome people that's what I like to do so whatever that looks like for you I don't know what that is but spend some time outside of your real estate in deal sorry making deals that lose track of time when I'm doing business I love it okay every aspect there's there's my problem I don't have there's got to be something outside of that outside yeah but I mean there's got to be something outside of that business that you lose track of time unlike when you were 10 11 12 years old what did you like to do uh when did a lot of hunting with my dad played guitar do you sell a guitar do you still hunt you ever go on a hunting trip here we go to go up to Alaska go up to Alberta and shoot a cat or anything like that nope and so that's probably the first one that popped into my head that I could boom so finally so find a hunting outfit in Alberta with a guide and and book off two weeks with a couple of your mates and just go out and go hunting somebody somebody put in the chat over here go to go to Eastern Europe just to see the women all right I got a question for you caller I guess I got a thought you're concerned that you're gonna you're gonna wake up one day you're gonna have these regrets and I think that's a really important question to ask yourself another thing another way to look at this is that you may wake up one day and you may be boring and vulnerable boring because you've never done anything particularly interesting and vulnerable because you've only done one thing you really need to have a pretty full toolbox and so I don't know what rich is talking about was shooting cats when he shoot house cats or what do you do up there Cougars they just call him cats up in Alberta okay so then I like little kittens that are running around and you owe their biggest net well I don't that'll do see there if you're not careful you can't shoot them here that'd be illegal but you got enough of them up there you need to get rid of some or what apparently yeah yeah they've guys okay you know hunting guides it'll do cats right alright so see here rich is an interesting guy he knows about these things and if you're gonna be interesting and you're going to be as invulnerable as you can be you probably want to start piling up some experiences outside you're working maybe there are some ways to take your work outside of the border so you're having to deal with people from other cultures and so forth and you having to learn that way but yeah I think you're asking a good question I would follow up on it if I was you yeah cool yeah no I appreciate the feedback and you know so much of my life started with austerity you know in my 20s it was like I didn't allow myself to do anything cut my own hair I you know I didn't spend any money and now I have a good income and I have a lot of different business activities I'm doing it in wondering like yeah when do I cut loose and and I guess I I think it's a good advice I should make myself do those things and find out what else can possibly stimulate yeah there's there's there's 52 weeks in the year carve out at least three of those weeks three is a very small percentage of the entire carve out three weeks ago and explore and do something because before you know it you're gonna be an older guy and your joints won't be as good as they are when you're 32 and you're not gonna be able to shit that you you know could have done it 32 that you missed out an opportunity on that's that's what I would be cautious too because you got lots of runway if it comes to you know wife and kids you don't have to worry about that for a number of years but get out there and do things that allow you to feel fulfilled to feel like you've done more than just build you know bricks and mortar and lights and electricity wires and stuff right and here's a beautiful thing if you go out and you try some different things and you decide that that's not for me I want to go back to just building apartment buildings you can always go back and all you've lost is a little bit of time and money you got some experience under your belt alright man thanks for connington a great advice I do have to get going I appreciate the call guys thank you take care man all right let's do speaking of which we got Paul on and Paul you want to unmute yourself I hit the mute button when you joined in so Paul and I met up in Detroit last week when I was on the rally and there was a meet at Lamborghini Bugatti Detroit I mean hooked up over there or just shit sorry Dillon just gonna mute you for a sec you got your audio on yeah Paul just trying to figure it out there it is there you go so you know like meeting up with interesting people like Paul's a guy my men's community he's in there for a while he's always contributing stuff he puts him a good YouTube content himself and I just said look guys you know these things that I could be in if anybody wants to connect these are the dates and times it'll be at and Paul and I you know linked up right so these are the things that I think men should do is connect with other men from around the world that are like-minded that have genuine interest in building friendship and relationships Paul what's shakin brother good just a couple Jim appointments and an evening appointment so I'm glad I'm able to make it out so just what ask a quick question you know I love the show so contribute when I can when I'm in town by asking good questions so I want to get Sean's take on serial monogamy women as far as vetting out red flags so I see women that are who are experienced and you don't spend time you know being single essentially that just go from relationship to relationship I see that as as problematic and I'm kind of developing some of my own ideas on that but I want to get Sean's take from a psychologist perspective what do you know what you think the we think the root of that is and and and do you think it's a red flag and in what way with what's how is that gonna be a potential problem do you think anyway I have reasons I think if I had to guess at a common reason for people keeping themselves consistently in relationships and doing the see Ramona Huckabee thing and never take any time alone it would be I would guess that one of the most common reasons is some kind of social anxiety because one of the things you don't have to do when you're in a relationship is is you don't have to confront all the things that a person has to confront when they're by themselves you have this other person and if you're a good serumaga list you can be very skilled at picking the person that's going to be really good at parties so then you never have to go to a party and try to hurt yourself and try to work the room or whatever even just try to have conversations you just hide behind somebody so that'd be my first guess some flavor of that what do you think yeah I think that's pretty good especially for a lot of the you know introverted types or real submissive types that have run into you that they always want some man around to kind of lead him around but I was also thinking too in terms of women with anxious attachment issues you know so women who went through some sort of disappointment you know they they didn't get the oxytocin hits when they were a kid from parents me you know maybe divorced happen or abuse or caretaker left and you see young girls who you know they oftentimes gravitate towards guys have sexual activity really early when they have you know problems growing up right like with their parents divorces or that and then they just sort of continue now I mean in theory women's women generally don't take a sex ring kind hate to say it but it's like you know she has sex since she was 15 and then that's with her boyfriend and then they break up and then she hooks up with a guy at a party it's not like guys like they just kind of their history looks like a straight line diagram you know until he finally so when was somebody but but ones with attachment problems though I mean it seems like they're after that actually you know that oxytocin or that chemical cocktail and so they get it from one person and then they love bomb them they get all this stuff then the honeymoon phase run runs out you know they see the person for faults it brings up a bunch of anxiety attachment anxiety you know so they start to fear abandonment fear the relationships going to end and so they crash it into the wall they create toxics today riyo's and you know they end up ending that relationship somehow usually if you're cheating or monkey branching and then the cycle continues they just take all of those feelings ball it up and then they put it into the next guy all right also I got a question for you so if we I got a statement of the question so if we look at just epidemiology I'm not gonna throw numbers out cuz I'm gonna get me wrong and somebody's gonna jump on Google yell at me but top of the list would be anxiety really common right so that that might be the first motivation and then somewhere down below that would be attachment disorders because that's a smaller percentage of Epidemiology and in the population and then somewhere around that or below that would be personality disorders and then probably jump back up to the top of the list probably up near the top would be just a lot of women who like to be in relationships in their whatever they've been socialized whatever they believe that's what they should be doing so they're more comfortable when they're in relationships but it's not that they can't function on their own so a being my statement my question for you is if you are down toward the bottom of that list in the small numbers where there's attachment disorders and personality disorders is that what you're saying and that you've got a slew of women that are not in the majority there well I mean I do very well say I do very well when it comes to plate-spinning and pickup but when I have picked ltrs in the past I have gravitated towards those who were really good at the love bombing and stuff and I started looking backwards in my history going you know what these women were serial monogamists and had high anxiety and so they were always anxious in afraid that I would leave them and that always created a problem and toxicity later all right so then what is it in you that's attracting them and what is it in you that makes you vulnerable to love bombing and how do we fix that well you know of course I'm gonna get on my white knighting horse and Captain save-a-ho all these women up there that's what it is and I work with I have a military background and this tends to happen with a lot of us guy or in the military – you know we we put ourselves out there we put ourselves in harm's way put ourselves at risk for others and then we have a tendency to want to do that in our relationships not really realizing it right right so your real duty driven guy but this is and that's something that serves you well in one context but this is a context where being duty driven does not serve you very well right exactly so even when I'm working with soldiers and their issues and soldier care this is a common theme you know what I mean we're finding these anxious attachment disorder women that you know are just they're excited to be with a high elf low type guy and their bomb and the shit out of them with love but you know what ends up happening is you know it falls apart like I'm I'm a flawed person right so but I'm a fantasy to her for the first six months to a year maybe and then then after a while my flaws and normal stuff because I mean human beings start to come out she recognizes those and then that and what follows then as an immediate anxiety oh crap he's not perfect like I thought he was he could abandon me he could leave this could break up and so then it's all this anxious behavior to try to control the relationship and basically setting themselves up for failure you know and then they immediately resent – so not just a – circumstances but in other soldiers circumstances the women will immediately resent the guy because they have resentments from caretakers that abandon them so that all of those feelings of resentment just show up you know what I mean when they think that this relationship could end this guy could leave me you know and and so there's a lot of did get a lot of dread I mean generally women I'm with have tried anyway but I mean it's it's to an unhealthy level when it get right so I'm gonna I'm gonna throw out a suggestion for guys that are listening because what you just described is a pattern that there's got to be a million guys out there that know exactly what you're talking about so I'll throw out the suggestion that one of the things to avoid is being idealized and you know you're being idealized when the person refuses to see your faults when they're out there on display for everybody else can see him like everybody else he's at Paul he's kind of he's kind of mess enough today but she doesn't see she's defending you with her life practically so that's something to avoid what would you that's my suggestion what would be your suggestion for what guys like you conscientious beautiful guys should avoid when at the beginning of relationships well not to be afraid to ask questions to it's not like you're wanting to know we're not count but just knowing what her patterns are should indicate you know where she's gonna be at with you and if she has dysfunctional patterns like cheating or mate switching and stuff like that which but I create an environment with women though where they tell me everything like women tell me things they probably shouldn't tell way cuz because you're a conscientious guy and you create this environment where it's okay for them to just open up and so when they feel to what they're telling you you still down slow down you're saying listen to the data that's what you're saying yes okay right so that's what I'm in a position now where I'm doing great I mean I have people I'm singing and let's just say I don't need to be in an LTR anytime soon but and I've been in that position before but it's even more powerful now you know that was before because they have a lot more insight now but I am looking backwards eventually I may get into an LTR again so I'm looking backwards at what data points I missed and what data points guys I've worked with friends people that come to me for advice what they've missed you know and I like the way you think man you need to be talking to other military guys about all the stuff you've learned because your genius with this he does that so follow Paul at the 5% what is it the 5% I can't read the rest of it there you go so he's got a youtube channel follow stuff over there he's actually we talked for a few hours down in Detroit he's really good so so it's a very good quote you know you know question opposed just just kind of as a listener on this one I'd look for you know as far as red flags go trying to avoid train wrecks is kinshi be alone you know I'm saying because if she's going for food to do to do to do dude it's like there's this constant sequence of like man after man you know there's like the bad side of things where a woman will intentionally be alone for like eight years you know she just won't date she won't be around man like that's one side of the equation it's like one side of the ballpark and then the other side of the ballpark is she's just swinging from one to the other sort of thing like that so I think there's a healthy medium where you know because there's a lot of toxic relationships out there and I think men and women need to take some time to themselves try to figure out what what baggages are bringing a long way with them not a lot of I mean guys seem to be more prone to want to do the work from my experience but can't you know can she be a little at a time is what I'm saying basically that's pretty good yeah Paul yeah one last question what you were on the rally what were you driving though he was another l-look right yeah okay so you you're driving a Prius or whatever I think you can jeep driver yeah I'm sorry man I shouldn't have said free as I was insulted yeah just it just came to mind but just just a jeep compass nothing special that wasn't cool like rich give me 5 or 10 years maybe I'll be cool what yeah he does a lot of their cooler shit than I do so it's just a good at that I'm gonna throw it over over here to Dylan if you want to unmute yourself you got a question you want to throw to me and Shawn uh yeah actually can you hear me all right yeah loud and clear fire away perfect so first of all I'm gonna stare into my camera so it looks like I'm looking you in the eyes thank you both so much because about six months ago I was berry suicidally depressed after about five years of major depression and you guys helped me pull it out so thank you very much but my yeah my question goes to more in line with the topic at hand today I'm not sure if it's before the train wreck but it feels like it to me I currently on 22 I've been a lifeguard for a while now and going in and out of college and coding boot camps as well so one thing is I I don't think that college is the idea for me it's not the right choice for me because I'm not work a verse or education at verse because I went to a three and a half month boot camp and work like ninety hour work weeks all day just sitting and looking at code and working with algorithms so I don't think that's my problem but currently I have three options I go into software development I could go into the corporate sector or get into digital nomad REE which I think would be fun I really think that the trades are a great idea for a career because it's hard to outsource to other countries very very high demand I there are certain ones based on my development knowledge software knowledge that will not be automated within the next 20 years which is nice to know and I think that that would be a really cool job to work with and the other one too is going back to college and trying to figure out what I should do with that but I'm very against going back to college because it just feels like I am paying twenty to thirty grand a semester to be indoctrinated and it's something that makes no sense so I've got three paths I'm really not sure where to go I've got a lot of massive imposter anxiety and paralysis of voice for lack of a better word there's lots of doors I could go through I'm a young man I know I'm ready to work I know have some good skills and I just have no idea what the dude so am I in a train wreck or am i yeah right path okay cool so let me just kind of slow you down here cuz you're talking about a lot of really interesting things that I think that we kind of need to break down imposter syndrome is something that a lot of guys will get a lot of entrepreneurs get it it's like do I deserve this success right like am I entitled to what it is that I've created and you'd be surprised at the amount of business owners at about this conversation with in private discussion forums where it's like they run ten hundred million dollar businesses and it's like do I deserve the success and it's like yeah fuck yeah you do like you've done the work dude so that will that will probably always be there to some degree to some element as you get older so don't worry about that too much right now that's that's totally cool is very natural but I mean like you're talking about things like coding trades and then what was the third one going back to school which I that feels like a terrible option but it's going back to school so yeah what do you think shot if school feels like a terrible option you're probably right I honestly don't know why any young man would go to university these days unless you have a specific reason to go like if you want to become a CPA all right you got to go to an accounting program but if you don't have a specific reason to go away just rule that one out you gotta go if you want yeah I'm not a big fan of school simply because a lot of guys let school get in the way of their education yeah I see that's yeah that was the biggest problem for me I felt like I wasn't actually pursuing an education that was meaningful to me so right so you're currently working as a lifeguard like that's what you're using to pay the run right now but you're in school and you're thinking about renewing that into something new no so I've actually been out of school for two years now I took a gap year and then did not go back because I got an opportunity to go out to Australia for little loyalism IT guy which was really cool but yeah I've been exploring things outside of school and till astre still trying to teach myself and find better institutions of education that I can go to which is trade school or coding boot camps or other things like that I think a lot of guys that that are in the computer space and working with coding have recognized and I've recognizes – anyway I'm not a I'm not an IT guy but algorithms are really the future there's a follow up book to sapiens Homo do us I think it is I can't member the author's name is hard to pronounce but you can look at but algorithms are basically the future for anything technology-based it means algorithms to solve any problem going forward in fact algorithms solve problems better than most humans do today like if you were to take a tenured surgeon that's done you know 20 years worth of work and you put him up against a hundred patients to diagnose lung cancer a computer algorithm will be successful three times I think it was something like three times better than what the surgeon would be right so if you're good with coding if you're good with computers if you're good with you know these sorts of predictions that's a great space to get into from my estimation trades are good too but you're always working with your hands you're always exchanging a block of time for a block of money right for the amount of your plumbing or attrition whatever it is you're always gonna work for the one hour you're gonna get paid for it something we get paid really well like they'll show up but they can solve a problem in two minutes and charge $150 right but it's always right for block of money really depends on what it is you want to build I mean if you love computers and you like coding and you like algorithms and stuff like that that's where I would be going if I was do you have any sense where you want to end up five ten years from now well so two things if I were to go into trades the eventual goal would be to own a business own a trade because I feel that while it's really rewarding to work with my hands and – there's a thing for me I need to feel like it's not necessarily instant gratification but I need to feel like I am a valuable contributor to society whether it be fixing someone's electrical work constructing something for them or or do something like that like building a website for example and but I also realized that as I get older it's going to be incredibly taxing on my body and hopefully moving into a managerial or business ownership position in the trades is the ideal so I was going this you need to be developing right now then is business yes yes I totally blanked on the other one about this topic but I was slightly off-topic question to ask rich real quick good as the God of War beard man jiminy beard tips cuz currently I've been just growing it out kind of wild and I was gonna trim it up make it look nice so just wondering what you have give enough density on the upper part here upper part here here yeah you have any density there or is it just not grow there yeah actually it's it's actually growing a lot I just trimmed this up today so grow it out and then find a nice barber that can trim it up there's lots of good barber shops up there but you but I mean you're gonna look like a hobo for a couple months so just so just grow it as oh I was expecting that yeah yeah so just grow it as you can give him something to work with but yeah that's that's my beard tip but as far as the you know not making a train wreck out of your life with making the wrong choices I think you're asking the right questions man you don't seem like a scholarly kind of guy and the only reason why you'd need to go back to school to get some kind of trade license so that you can practice in that area but you know it's it's highly regulated you got a lot of Union BSU a lot of crap in and around that you sound more entrepreneurial because when you start talking about things like imposter syndrome that's very common with a lot of business owners mogul so my feeling would be like lean into the coding stuff and see what that feels like but I mean you got lots of runway dude like you still yeah man yeah you can try some different stuff like the worst thing that happens is you say you become a coder and doesn't work out for you all right you got a skill set you learn some stuff there related to that skill set that can carry over to other skill sets so young guys you know don't be afraid to try stuff out don't be afraid to fail with it gonna land on your feet cuz you're asking good questions yep perfect well thank you both mm thanks for hopping on I'm just gonna mute you you can you can hang out there and watch or you can bounce this up to you just real quick I got some people asking the comments if I'm going to come back to the fold yes I'm going to come back to the calls it's just I always give VIP access to my men's community so so so you guys understand how it work I mean if you're a dude and you're like in these broadcasts I always drop the link to join here and they can ask the questions before I get to the caller's real quick before we continue on and get back into it just want to shout out to the channel sponsor cuz Scott's the guy that really helps me make this stuff continue on we've done 27 episodes and it's really because of the sponsors that allow me to continue to do this because the ad pocalypse that's gone on with youtube so if you enjoy what you're watching you're showering anyways handmade soap pheromone infuse give a little bit of advantage of the sexual marketplace Dylan was asking about the beard oil stuff there's now a beard oil products called god of war with yours truly on the face it's a great product also pheromone infused as well check it out the link is pinned in the description below you'll get 10% off if you check out with coupon code Cooper there's my pitch from the sponsors let's get back into it vests correction I'm not gonna pronounce that right obviously but if you want to unmute yourself you can ask your question go ahead hey thanks actually it's a Ryan from the group right a so I'm 43 divorced twice I've been working in the government contracting military field for about 22 years now I'm kind of getting to a point where I've done all the exciting stuff and done the high-pressure stuff the current position I'm in is much more of a kind of administrative thing I mean I don't have a whole lot of job satisfaction there but I it is paying me pretty well and just bought a house Yeti attic so I'm in a good place financially don't have a whole lot job satisfaction the question I have is where to go from here because I can keep doing this pretty much indefinitely I'm good enough at this and I have a decent enough reputation that can stay employed doing this but whenever rich talks about you know making a dent in the universe I don't really feel like I am I enjoy doing things like mentoring I do I really enjoy like taking really hard complex problems and like sort of breaking my way through them I enjoy things like the stock market options trading stuff like that how do you make that decision on sort of where to go when you're this far into your life when you talk about make it a dent in the universe what what does that look like in your mind good question so like I joined the military mostly to kind of do these sort of save the world you know keep the innocents safe from the dangers of the world and pretty much did the same thing as far as the defense contracting government contracting thing and to me that was a you know a really worthy sort of thing you know keep the keep the bad guys keep the evil shit you know keep the you'll stuff at bay from the people who shouldn't be suffering from that like that to me was a big impact on the world I'm not really having that kind of impact anymore having been through some counselling having seen this stuff like you and rich have done you know your book was phenomenal by the way thank you very much for that one thanks like that kind of personal impact is also really important to me but it's not something that I've been able to really have in my life as far as being able to affect that for others so your dilemma it sounds like is you're you're a man who wants to have an impact on the lives of others but you're in a pretty comfortable position where you don't really have an impact on others yeah it's richer richer so what we're talking about here is playing to win versus playing not to lose and right yeah living a life where you're playing not to lose yeah the only like you want to play to win and that's pretty normal I'm you know a lot of military guys that have like conquered it isn't crazy batshit crazy stuff often move into the other business world and create their own businesses how old are you again 43 yeah single yes yeah did you get raked over with the divorces are you okay financially so I still owe child support for another two years on the first one but on the second one I came out without a scratch two divorces yes how many kids yes three okay and they're still young or the two say 20 to 18 and 16 right now okay well they're pretty much adults I mean the ability to maneuver really depends on you know what you want to do I mean you want to keep playing not to lose or you want to start playing to win right it's definitely want to start playing to win so start to start asking yourself questions about problems that you can solve in what you can charge to solve those problems that's that's really what it boils down to is there's there's problems out there that you've identified you know that you're competent you know that you've got the skills to solve them you definitely want to tackle them you're ambitious go and make a business out of it and go make some money and put your dent in the universe I mean that's it it's the easiest way for me to kind of distill it I know there's a lot more to it and there's a lot more behind it but like who's like whose fucking permission do you need to go and do that's like yeah I guess the biggest the biggest question I had would be like to do the counseling the psychology stuff that's several years worth of investment in school and so forth and so on to do the options training that's a really high risk kind of thing it's not a real dent in the universe kind of thing so the question is kind of like which way to go because they're both kind of interesting to be but I don't know how to pull that trigger well it really depends on what you want I mean if you want to see numbers on a screen in your bank account then the options probably the way to go but if you want to really put a dent in the universe and get letters from guys that have had a horse tranquilizer you know ready to pin themselves and end their lives because their wife destroyed them you know counseling men is pretty impactful I mean I'd like personally me I'd love to have conversations with guys like Elon Musk like that guys really fucked up his life a number of times making bad choices with women but there's a lot of very successful entrepreneurs out there that aren't willing to take ownership for some of the bad choices they've made on the sexual marketplace with the opposite sex they just keep plowing forward because they've got so much money to burn through and enough people you know to help them burn through it that they that somehow managed to do it right but that that is my goal like that is my dent like that is my big dent in the universe I know that I have impact with a channel in my men's community with the business here's that I run you know throughout the community and stuff like that but I want to work with high-level entrepreneurs that are that have made some really bad choices that are ready to start doing the work on themselves I'm having a hard time connecting with them right now though ways to do it awesome thank you guys very much thank you thanks Ryan yeah that was a good that was a good conversation yeah let me let me lay this on you rich I used to one of my jobs I had a long time ago as I was a contractor with the government I was working my way through college and I was good at graphic design so I finagle my way into this comfy little contracting job with the government so I met a lot of government employees and I was very young as early early 20s I was probably yeah early twenties and I noticed early on that a lot of these government employees they would say the same thing they would say I've got so many years to retirement some of them would say it like that's no big deal I got this many years to retirement I enjoy what I'm doing I'm fine with this I'm playing not to lose it's all cool others were clearly just running the clock and I remember thinking even as at 22 years old or whatever I was why would you spend one day of your life trying to run out the clock when there's something else that you know you should be doing that's just a pathetic way to go through life let alone planning out years this way so to this last last caller I forgot his name I call it Ryan I think it was like if you're in that first group where you can say okay I've got 12 years to retirement and you're cool with that then all right maybe you continue that path but if there's something in you that says now I've only got so many years left on this planet if I'm lucky I'm not gonna run out the clock and and run my life that way if there's one little neuron on your brain that's saying that then that's probably telling you the direction you need to go in yeah like that's the sad reality of social program that we have is most people are conditioned like still to this day to be an employee and it and they employer myself employees are incredibly expensive and inefficient versus current options that are on the marketplace like the older I get and the more that I read up on it the more that I see the need at some point in the future for something I don't know what it's going to be called but some but some form of universal basic income because there's a lot of people right now that we employ utterly pointlessly that don't need to be employed that either an algorithm or a computer or some software or or something could do it far more efficiently and could I met a couple of those today yeah go ahead with your point you know what I'm talking about right yeah yeah you know it's an interesting dynamic and you know for these people to go through life like I just don't get it like when I was downtown Chicago there was these union workers that were protesting in front of a hotel there was like eight or nine of them or something like that and there's screaming and banging on drums and all the shit they're going on about you know they're workers rights and it's like most of them don't get that they are completely replaceable right but they want to play not to lose right like they want to have that that safety net and it's like it's just such a lazy way to go through life in my opinion and I'm not saying and you know in a disparaging fashion just because I think that you know these people are lazy specifically but the think itself is lazy like it's a form of entitlement and if you feel like you're like you deserve more go get it go get it not stop you know sitting back and banging on drums and waving signs and you know taking time off work anyway exactly and part of Ryan's problem just one last point here is that he's tasted adrenaline and that spoiled him and he wants more of it so I suspect he's not gonna be happy with his government contract for very long exactly all right unknown you want to unmute yourself I don't have your name on there on that screen if you want to throw a question at us you got three two one I'll take a caller if you're not gonna mute yourself okay we're gonna go to caller exchange 7 8 8 7 88 you're on the area of a question yeah do you guys ever see hypergamy walking backwards what I mean is I'm got the worst seen years ago and my ex-wife listen made a lot less money than I do I'm actually was for a bit office it's a dog track for a living I mean now I didn't seen another one in this kind of the same way you know she was seeing some guy your audio was cutting up I said it again out can you hear me yep can you just go just go back about 10 seconds and just repeat that ok so I was saying that you know so my wife left me and now I'm seeing another woman and it's the same thing with her she was in an abusive relationship with another guy and now she's talking about going back to him you know and I think what I've seen with these two women is that with my ex-wife she had a lot of mental health problems and when I met her she didn't know anything about how to get help I'm a clinical social worker so I was able to go with her and get her to treatment and everything and I was listening to the conversation relationship equity and I was thinking the same thing that you know I had worked so hard to get her abortion with me and my ex-wife did one day she just will when said and what I'm meeting you for this other guy and I think I'm afraid that the same thing is going to happen with this old woman I'm seeing right now you know that she's talking about how she was in an abusive relationship and you know I'm putting all this work and effort to her and like at the end of the day she's probably gonna do the same thing this other woman did what do you think shun I got a little lost there so because your audio was breaking up a bit but somebody left you for somebody who's a worse fit for her and abusive and you're worried the next one's gonna do the same thing yeah because the woman that I've seen now is basically the doing the same thing my ex-wife did my ex-wife letting for somebody who makes a lot less money than than I do you know so like I didn't understand how hypergamy worked at that scenario alright so forget about hypergamy for a minute if she were here what would she say is the reason that she left you she said that it was because when she was with me she didn't think she was beautiful and then now she realized that she was and did not caring and that's what this whole thing I offered her okay so he tickles her emotions and makes her feel good yeah but okay and so now this this new lady is doing the same thing there's there's a pattern here which given em the G no tangles as whicker's what is the new one doing that's got you suspicious wait a minute I don't know these two are very attractive when when like I'm trying to hook up with like a woman that it's just like I'm regular six or seven like I don't have that problem so okay so now we're talking sixes and sevens how okay so how old are you you think you're 36 and this is your first marriage you're dating this woman she's single like are you guys in a relationship like what's the status No I asked her you know if she wanted like the exclusive and she just kind of told me itching over there take things slowly okay so it's like okay so let's go back to that okay but back up back up back up back up you never say to a woman are we in an exclusive relationship she needs to bring it up okay she needs to be the first person that says I love you she needs to be the first person that says hey where do we stand she needs to bring it up okay that's that's a woman entering your frame that's woman that wants to enter your life and be a part of it when you bring it up it comes from a place of scarcity and it's not attractive to women and that's why she's doing that well you know I want to take my time because basically what she's saying is she wants to keep dating other people – let her hypergamy float to the top okay so even though you might make more money than the dude that let that your wife left you for the dude that she left you for gives her the G no tangles and she doesn't get that from you right so that's so that's concept of game itself right like like being able to understand what drives desire there's like arousal cues and then there's what's the other one arousal and I came from the other one Sean help me out here I'm lost I'm sorry Mike I'm sorry okay so yeah it's all me but but there's there's attraction Q sorry and then there's arousal cues and availability cute no no it's okay attraction cues and then it's arousal cues all right I'm not helping you and all I'm gonna let you run with this one for good okay so just run with me on this one so arousal cues the ex-wife leaves him for the guy making less money because of the arousal cues the attraction cues are more of like the beta traits the arousal cues are more of the Alpha traits so the attraction cues are well he's got a stable job he's reliable you know he brings home the bacon there's food in the fridge the bills are paid we don't have debt blah blah blah the arousal cues are oh I want to jump his bones sort of thing right so ideally like if you want to have strong attraction from her if you want her to enter your frame if you want to have a good relationship with her you definitely want arousal cues because when you have attraction cues all you end up with is turning yourself into like a plow horse you know you end up being her little pet and then her arousal cues diminish and drop off and then if some guy gives her attention makes her feel pretty and I'm using finger quotes for those of you listening to podcast right now makes her feel pretty then that's how you end up in that scenario right does that make sense just sound like what happened yeah when my wife left she said that and she wanted she liked the life that she loved you know doing drugs and not being responsible adult okay so you can think about in terms of frame like like rich is talking about you can talk about it like Robert Glover says choose the woman who chooses you and there's a lot behind that statement if you stop them think about it for a bit yeah it's a great statement does it help you out of women that choose me are not the attractive women well make yourself more valuable what is it that you can do to make yourself more valuable on the sexual marketplace I mean if you were to rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the best version of yourself where do you put yourself okay well if you're only a six and you can't expect to get eights and nines right because women only date up okay all right so if you're a six you got some work to do I mean you got four basis points you can improve on yourself I don't know what those are but you know what they are there's something that you can do to become a better version of yourself for sure yeah all right okay brother thanks Cullinan then let you go all right we're gonna have to wrap up the show because we're coming up in the 90 minutes before we do there's a quick super chat here from not sure he says hey rich can you talk more about imposter syndrome but in the context of somebody starting as an entrepreneur I feel it comes out in my sales calls I kind of hit on it earlier in the show I don't know if you caught it but I mean more in-depth for me to build a dedicated video on it I don't know if this is worthwhile for doing a like kicking off on a topic um before the train wreck Ron what do you think it'd be a little bit out of my wheelhouse but I mean if you want to talk about it on a one-on-one coaching call you can always book me I mean my links are always in the description of the videos but it's not a video that I would create as a standalone simply because it just wouldn't get that much in the way of eyeballs although it's gonna be useful it's just not gonna get a ton of eyeballs maybe the best thing to do is to hop in the men's community that's probably a cheaper way to get the you know get access to the information because we do monthly hangouts and then you can ask me direct you know in that group hangout and we kind of just kind of shoot the shit all right okay so we're gonna wrap off the wrap up the show are you back next week Sean are you around on the 22nd you bet all right so we're gonna be back on the 22nd that's our 90-minute show for tonight apologies to the people we didn't get to on the on the lines you might as well just hang up and just drop those for the time being but if you guys can do me a favor just hit the like button on the broadcast we got a bunch of people on this right now and only handful likes it really helps me out a ton if you can let YouTube know that this is good content and it's useful and they should show it to other people also this is available as a podcast now usually they get uploaded within about a day or two after this monday night broadcast wraps up so just go to your favorite podcast platform whether it's iTunes Google podcast Spotify stitcher whatever you should find us there and again smash the like button any closing thoughts for tonight's show Sean a lot of guys struggling with values I like those questions and young guys don't need to panic about that stuff you got time to try things out yeah I think that's the important thing is try things out right you know there's that whole paralysis by analysis and you spend way too much time thinking about you know what it is you're gonna go and do but just just go and do shit it's like in the absence of clarity do something you know it's one of the greatest lessons that I learned from Philip mckernon you know in the absence of clarity do something don't just sit there I'm Mel find out what it is that you need to do that will create the clarity for you it's it's far better off than sitting around doing nothing alright guys thanks for watching tonight's broadcast we'll see you next Monday night at 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time you guys later face

29 thoughts on “BTT # 27: Life Lessons From High Achievers”

  1. Ey Rich hope your good. I was wondering as far as SMV is concerned does it apply to a 9/10 hot chick ?

  2. Richard, I greatly appreciate your sound advice, it is a true inspiration. However, in this episode you discouraged pursuing the trades. I hope before you stand by that belief that you at least look into the benefits of a young person pursuing a skill. A tradesmen can write their own ticket in life, with minimal cost in college, in a job market desperate for qualified people. Acquiring a trade in high demand can gives one access to a global market, where you wont be stuck in a job that does not meet your expectations. The economy is heading for an inevitable crash, worse than 2008. Those people that will endure will be those that have value. The young are easily influenced, and you are an influencer. I greatly respect you, but strongly disagree on this point.

  3. Life happens and we learn woman are what they are, don't put to much stock into them, period. Seek God with all your heart, soul and mind.

  4. For the last guy whose beautiful women leave him for jerks. That's what u get for choosing 8/9s. Beautiful women r like spoiled children, u cannot satisfy them long term. And there's always dicks hanging around promising them better. Let them go and fuck up their lives and be grateful u dodged a bullet.

  5. Captain workaholic, I don't agree that u have plenty of time to have kids. Take some time to figure out if u want a family, not 10 years!

    If u do then why can't u put all ur efforts into finding the best mother possible for ur children? Believe me they're not that easy to find. And believe me raising a family properly is no cake walk.

    Some other points, if u don't want kids remember u can't change ur mind when ur 50/60. U can but you'd be a shitty, selfish father. Another thing ur apartments and toys can't betray u, but they can't love u and care for u either.

    U don't have a lot of time, choose and choose wisely.

  6. Captain saveaho, it's gynocentrism buddy, that's why u do it. Take some time like they said and figure out what u want. Just know that u don't owe women anything, they have more rights and privileges than u do, they're not children either. Let them take care of their own shit.

    If u still want to save them, get in touch with ur shadow, find out what it wants in return, if u don't get that u better move on or else.

  7. Running out the clock, f that. Travel the world for a year, backpack, stay in hostels – stop wasting your lives.

  8. This is all BS ……the "Just do it" doesn't work because people NEED discipline. And the idea of they are "different" well they are because they did something to get them to the top. Come back to earth

  9. I’m not taken calls on Rub N’ Tugs guys!” “Smarten up!”

    Richard Cooper

    All done with a straight face.


  10. Another great episode of BTT. It is unfortunate that it was interrupted by the caller pimping out his mom; get a life buddy. Thank you Rich and Shawn for the cold/hard truths you give men with your videos; I am slowly learning to become the best version of myself.

  11. You're wrong about a video on Imposter Syndrome. A lot of people would watch that. You'll draw in people outside the man-o-sphere as well.

  12. This dude helped his mom basically transition into becoming a escort. $300 a few sessions a day. 🤦‍♂️

  13. Shooting cats in Alberta it is better to hunt wild boar in Alberta…Good to eat and they are a pest that cause alot of problem, no hunting season on them, no bag limit.

  14. The guy who cited getting his mother started on doing happy ending massages as his track record of success. 😂🤣

  15. Thanks guys.. really appreciate these videos. Many callers pose Qs that are akin to my own and I get a lot of useful content and feedback. Btw great and mature handling of that first caller who was a troll for sure. I wudve lost my temper but off late I try to emulate u guys and how u guys deal with bs like this on a day to day basis. Looking forward to next BTT

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