Alabama’s Other Abortion Options

– Hello, I’m Alabama Governor Kay Ivey and I’m here today to clear
up some of the confusion about our recently passed abortion ban. While it’s true we’ve banned abortions during the first nine months of pregnancy, we actually do allow termination
following the ninth month through a variety of
post-natal abortions offerings. From school shootings to poor education. Alabama’s abortion bill broadens the scope of heartbeat bills that
have already passed in Ohio, Georgia, and Missouri. And just like those states, we provide many safe non-hormonal options for post-natal abortion. For women living in rural areas, we offer the lack of accessible hospitals. I campaigned against Medicaid
expansion in my last election. If waiting for your
local hospital to close, as 13 of ours have in
the past eight years, seems like too long of a wait, we offer several fast track solutions. Just not faster than nine months. In our opioid fast track,
we’ll give your newborn a cute koala-shaped
fentanyl lollipop to suck on that gets ’em hooked young. Mm. Tastes like Alabama. More opioids get prescribed here that our state’s population, so you’ll have much better
access to this form of abortion than getting the one of
the two Planned Parenthoods still open in the state. There were over 20 abortion
clinics open in Alabama in the ’90s, but now there are only three. Another great example of
the incredible strides we’re making to move away
from pre-natal abortions towards more post-natal abortions. As a birthplace of many
notable African Americans, and the host state of
the Civil Rights landmark Selma to Montgomery marches, we are proud to combat racism no matter which side we’re on. For black women, we provide
some of the best access to post-natal abortions in the world. Last year Alabama was
bumped down to second place for highest infant mortality rates, which is the number of children who die before their first birthday. Black infants in Alabama died at over double the rate of white infants, despite accounting for
just 1/3 of overall births. Pretty impressive. The rate of black infant deaths here was higher than in countries
like Iran and Syria. Just another example of how we’re winning the war on terrorism. (“The National Anthem”) And while we do restrict abortions during the first nine months, I think you’ll be pleased with our expanded post-natal offerings because we have the highest per capita death penalty rate in the country. And we’re the only state
which allows judges to impose a death sentence against a jury’s verdict
of life imprisonment. So whether you’re a young
millennial or 82 years old in your 1,000th week of gestation, we can still abort you in the
form of capital punishment. It’s incredibly important for us to preserve the life
of our unborn children so our judges and politicians can try to date them when they turn 14.

100 thoughts on “Alabama’s Other Abortion Options”

  1. Someone get a body bag for the ENTIRE STATE OF ALABAMA. Sign up for DROPOUT for more impeccable accent work and soul-destroying roasts:

    Also, download the INTERNATIONAL app here:

  2. Notice how all the people who signed the ban are all men. Pretty fucking trashy considering that we men don't even go through the mental and physical pain of carrying a child.

    I'm not saying men are trashy but I'm just saying those men are trashy

  3. Man sure do love hyper political humor that talks shit about Alabama and all the problems that its lower income population has… You guys are doing a great job telling people how to live there lives …

  4. School shootings, and other crimes, drugs are born out of the same mindset as those who think it's okay kill an unborn baby.

  5. I don’t understand why Americans vote for a racist, sexist and misogynistic person like Trump. Even Hillary was racist. Why don’t you open your borders like we did in Europe? In my opinion all borders should be open, people should be free to live and work wherever they want. All wars should end. We must be all one nation – the human nation and laws should be almost equal in all parts of the word. Can you imagine the economic success if all money goes into education and healthcare and social programs rather than wars?

  6. “It’s shocking,” Rebecca Friedrichs, the founder of For Kids & Country, told The Christian Post.
    She said one school had 10- and 11-year-old girls participate in a “condom race” in which they ran, in front of male classmates, to be the first to put a condom on a model of an erect adult male

  7. Republicans attempted to add an amendment specifying that, “pedophilia is not covered as an orientation.”  However, the Democrats defeated the amendment.  Rep. Alcee Hastings (D-FL) stated that all alternative sexual lifestyles should be protected under the law, and accordingly decided that pedophilia is a sexual orientation that should be equally as embraced as homosexuality.


    It also means that, if pedophilia is asexual orientation, that discrimination laws also apply to pedophiles.  That means you cannot block a pedophile from being a preschool teacher or any other high-risk occupation.

  8. okay look i agree with your videos guys but this just wasnt very funny? I love your opinions but this was just mediocre – plus the actress kept looking to the side of the screen for the lines…even with tons of cuts?

  9. I hate Ohio's abortion laws. I'm not even in high school and I know that it's stupid. I thought this issue was solved in the '80s, so that I and my friends would never have to deal with it.

  10. Okay, so like…
    A woman (not all) should have the right to kill their babies if they just don't want them, but killing a murderer or serial rapist is a bad thing?

    I'm not for capital punishment myself, but that seems kinda hypocritical.

  11. The Kay Ivey talking would have been dead-on if you made it slower and raspier. I hate having to know what she sounds like due to having to live here lol.

  12. Hate it when statistics are manipulated to be presented in a certain way that sounds worse. When she says “black infants in Alabama died at over double the rate of white infants, DESPITE accounting for just a 1/3 of overall births”… Sound like they’re looking at percentages, so even if the same number of black and white infants died, you could say a larger percentage of black infants died cause there were less black infants overall. I know it’s a comedy/humourous/satire video, but at least try and get it right without manipulating the audience. You see this type of thing in the news all the time, pisses me off. Overall good video though!

  13. She did a good attempt at a southern accent, but not a Alabama accent. She needs to throw the southern class and charm away and then your good.

  14. To the 2.3K, Jennifer Hills from "I Spit on your grave" has been dispatched to your locations and theirs a lead pipe up your keister without the joy of lube.

  15. Scientists say time travel isn’t possible yet, but they seem to have forgotten that by stepping into Alabama’s borders, you end up back in the 13th century.

  16. I still think that I prefer death penalty to live in prison for the rest of my life but it should be up to the person that is find guilty to decide, I am against life in prison or the death penalty but for states that have it should do this.

  17. Please send your thoughts & prayers to the people of Alabama. Nothing happened, I just feel bad that 4.9 million people have to wake up there every day

  18. looking back, as someone born in alabama, i am SO GLAD my parents got me out of there at 6 before i could remember most things from that time. my extended family still lives there and it’s not fun 🥵

  19. So, this video was made to hate on Alabama, as a conservative, I don’t really care, we all know Alabama is not a great state. Although, it ain’t the worst, almost though.

  20. Someone is silencing dissenting views. This is youtube, you cant talk about controversial topics without controversy in the comment section. Unless you delete comments you dont like.

  21. Well I’m watching this in Missouri which was mentioned but here if you want post-birth abortions just head to East or North St Louis and walk around for a little while and you can see how long it takes for someone to commit a crime…..hehe it’s not really funny when STL has a worse murder crime rate than the more well known and picked on city of Detroit…..but it is what it is…..

  22. 2:30 Hey, when talking about one rate being double over another demographic, proportion of population or total capita does not matter. a 'rate' already is a per capita representation

  23. Funny how they're saying Alabama has "post birth abortions" meanwhile progressives like I'm Virginia do actually want that, what a bunch of hypocritics

  24. Frances Cleveland was super cool and all but she wasn't 21 when Grover first met her, she was a baby and was the administrator of her father's estate from when she was 11 until they married when she was in college.

  25. I feel bad for Alabama but then again it was bound to happen at some point, I mean this is a state of the USA.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *