ADD & Coaching: Education, Science, Finding a Coach by Phone, in Person, Skype? [Part 2 of 6]


I just want to get organized. I want to
overcome procrastination. Eventually. For me it’s my job which I hate by the way. [Dr. Barbara Luther] and we want to address those things but what I know is
if they don’t learn about their brain and how it works. The system or strategy
isn’t going to last and I’ll be back with them two more weeks doing another
one and that’s not what that’s not useful for either of us. [David Giwerc]
well coaching is a very disciplined process and it’s a conversation a learned
conversation with a set of skills that empowers a person with ADHD to make
their own self initiated change but it has to occur with educating them first
about their ADHD. [Sarah Wright] and we know that information alone is a very therapeutic
if it gives you a chance to understand what’s going on and therefore
conceptualize it differently it gives you it gives you tools to work with just
by understanding what’s going on. That’s true. So it’s very rewarding to watch
somebody find out that they’re not broken that they have a unique brain
wiring and then the coaching begins and that’s a whole process of skill sets, but
basically it’s a process of empowerment. So they have to begin to learn with me
that we’ve got to help them get a little bit of education about their brain and
that begins in those first sessions as well as beginning to identify strengths.
Strengths? like what? I’m a kinesthetic learner and I was actually punished for
movement as a kid because I was told you have to sit still you can’t move. You
don’t allow me to move I can’t learn. I can’t engage myself especially when I’m
bored so the coaching process is about
educating them about their unique brain wiring. Once they understand how that
wiring shows up in the world then the coaching begins. Trying to help you
figure out how your brain works and how to work with your brain I call it love
the brain you’re with, because you can’t have the brain you want you got to love
what you got and work with it and it’s a really a strength-based program. So that
now they understand their unique brain wiring because everybody has a set of
natural recurrent patterns that work well in the right environment and
understanding what gets in your way you can be empowered to move forward.
and then the final piece of the ADHD coaching’s the straight-up life coaching
which is asking clarifying questions that help people get really clear on
what they care about. So solving problems, getting educated, looking for repeating
patterns, and then focusing on some of the bigger issues. I’m kind of big on
science is there any scientific evidence that this works that it’s not you know
voodoo or horoscopes er? Well in the last five eight years suddenly the general
coaching field has said oh there’s neuroscience to support what we’re doing
we ADDers have known all along this is a different brain wiring so we’ve
been looking and watching the science I think a lot more and teaching the
neuroscience as part of understanding our brains. cool do I need a doctor’s
referral because I just found out about you on a website? people come to coaching from different areas sometimes a spouse’s said get coaching or else
sometimes a therapist or a doctor has said, you’re diagnosed now go get
treatment. My clients come from various places I’ve got some very I got a big
website or several big websites with a lot of information so a lot of people
who will do any search on the web will usually stumble upon some of my sites
and there’s a wealth of information on them I have a blog and and I’m very much
I tend to be quite generous with information because I think somewhere
somewhere somewhere out there somebody’s looking for the information that I’ve
got. I do have a lot of psychologists who diagnose ADDers who send me clients
and some of the psychiatrists have found that about found out about me
through the grapevine through some of their clients and who have been clients
of mine and have sent them over a set has sent other clients over to me yeah I
just found a list of coaches at TotallyADD.com nd there’s another
one that Chad and I was told to look in the back of attitude magazine and in the
back of attitude magazine there are as a coach directory and he’s my husband Jeff
said these these are the ones I see at the conferences and so I made a couple
of phone calls I called Jodie sleeper triplet and she said well I just trained
somebody who’s in your area, and that’s that’s as easy as how I got I got
connected. Cool my only concern is that I live in a
different state and it’s gonna be a 47 hour drive. 75% of ADHD coaching is done via telephone and all the training is done virtually and what we find is for
some people physical works but actually physical can be distracting. In an
environment on a telephone a cordless where you can move around you can create an environment that’s distraction free. Oh that’s perfect. So it’s over the phone?
Normally they’re done by phone I usually coach by phone I do have a few clients
that I meet face-to-face. Most of my clients are want to come and do
something in person and I felt the same way when I was coaching. Why? Momentum so if I have an appointment to go someplace well when I’m there I can do
this and then then I’ll move on to this so there’s something about actually
going and showing up someplace that I think is valuable that people have
people appreciate. and I find phone sessions for ADDers although a lot of
them will resist it they actually do much better on the phone session that in
the face-to-face face-to-face they come to my office I’ve got paintings
everywhere my husband’s an artist, they’re looking at this they’re looking
at that they’re kind of distracted but on the phone it’s almost like a conduit
between you know my ear and their voice their voice and my voice in their ear. So
there’s there’s a few distractions and they’re a lot more able to achieve a lot
of things. I like that. Part of the coaching is to help that person create
an environment where they can converse on the telephone and move forward. I was really surprised how things work on the phone as well as they do. Me too because I’m so visual. I would say 80% of the clients told me there’s no way I can do
it on the phone I’m too visual I’m too visual and what happens is they realize
that the visual was also a distraction that would they learn to become better
listeners they learned to pause more. what about Skype? I have done Skype
working with a teenager who wanted to Skype in bed with his laptop I’m going
where’s your stuff he’s like oh it’s over there on my desk. I’m like could you
put the computer down and maybe put it on your desk. So there’s a little
mobility but for the most part Skype works fine and even even
phone works fine. I’m a really visual person so sometimes I draw things out as
I’m explaining them so Skype works better than just the phone. As coaching
is a conversation that’s a natural pause I listen I ask you a question the
question is interesting and engaging they have to pause to answer it. So
they’re actually learning on the phone how to pause and actively listen and use
all their all their executive function to improve. Right right. It can work in
any number of ways and I think part of finding a coach and the modality of it
is the person for you’re connecting with and how you’re connecting and how your
brain works also a lot of my clients are very kinesthetic. So they can move around in a physical environment they feel constrained they can’t always you know
get up and walk around it’s distracting for the coach so we find that this is
the best modality for training and for coaching. The other thing I offer a lot
of group coaching so group coaching is actually a really amazing way of getting
help because you’re not just tapping into one coach you’re tapping into a
bunch of very very incredibly creative people who have already solved some of
the issues that you may already have. Plus you have a community because one of the major issues that a lot of ADDers have is they feel very lonely. You
know they can’t really talk about what they have a lot of them will ask me
should I tell anybody at work you know that’s that’s a big can of worms. It’s
always a very very scary thing to decide. Some of them have and have had
great results some of them have and have had poor results and some of them just
haven’t and have tried to manage things on their own so having a community a
small community to get to get back with and then and to to deal with to talk
with on a regular basis really really makes a difference as well. Yeah yeah I
guess so. Right.

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