Really really great advice Christina, thank you so much for your work and this channel, I'm making it through one day at a time..ups and downs but each new day brings hope and belief in great things to come..
Thank you so much! I thought when i didnt want to talk to anybody for years i was losing it? Its like the closer i was with somebody before the shift, the further i wanted to be away? Now i understand that if i want to hang around people that are "connected" i do, if i dont want to i don't… what anybody else thinks is none of my business…
im going threw a spiritual awakening at the moment.and I do spend a lot of time alone. isee threw everything. and ive also been threw a lot of mental pain.
You are so beautiful really by your video made me cry . I know i m reliefing soon . appreciate your work
I left this comment on part 1 of these series, and it applies to this too. I’m aware of those lessons, and yet, I hate everything about awakening.
I wish I’d never ever awakened. Awakening has ruined my life in a trillion pieces. And it’s been over 6 years now. I’ve lost everything, I mean everything, and everyone. I have no idea what the next day or even hour will be like and I’ve asked to be taken so many times. And the last thing I want is to be a healer or a teacher. I’m an artist and I want to keep doing my art and it’s impossibly hard because I keep getting thrown into survival. I hate this. I hate this. It’s the worst thing that could’ve happened to me. I’ve been to healers and teachers and therapists and nobody can help me, in fact it’s usually worse. Nobody can get me. I’m alone and I’m a freaking empath which makes things a lot more difficult. I’m so done with all this and I don’t see the way out.
Thank you so much xo
Great and inspirational!!😊
I have no community, have always been alone, a lone wolf, with very few exceptions. What is difficult is what is called the long or dark night of the soul. The only solution I have for it is to let go of it, there is no reconcile for it I can do. I suppose this is a form of self-forgiveness. EDIT: (aha, after minute 14 you talk about the same thing but call it the shadow etc. A more limited mind does more limited things, so our past can be much different from how we are when we wake up more. This shows it is not us, it was just a state of mind at the time).
This is what happened to wake me up, unexpectedly: I wrote this in 1996, it's about a "dream" which spiritually woke me up, it was an awesome awakening, at first, I didn't know how many people already knew this, I was sooo far from understanding this I was clueless that there are huge numbers of people who already woke up to this:
Sun of Souls~Souls of Sun; One Spirit~One Life.
One warm afternoon in 1996 I took a short nap. I awoke within it to find myself standing in the presence of a huge sun or sphere of light, quickly understanding that this sun was pure conscious awareness. Although its surface was only swirling light and did not have a face, it seemed as if it was smiling at me and had nothing but love for me.I felt its thoughts as one with my own and felt it peering deeply into my own awareness, knowing everything about me all at once. Standing in its presence I was overcome by a deep sense of awe and at the same time I was surprised to find myself so fully conscious in this empty, but light-filled void. There was nothing in existence for me but myself and this bright bluish-white (more white than blue) sun smiling its awareness at me. It was unlike any place on earth, and yet as real as waking reality. In fact, it was more real; I was super-conscious.
Suddenly I came to a profound awareness that this sun was God! I was so overwhelmed and surprised that God was real that I mentally gasped and then yelled out, “You’re Real!” I had always had a deep mistrust of religion. Years before this experience, I had decided for many seemingly valid reasons that religion and God were only a product of the human mind, yet there I was standing in the presence of what I knew without a doubt was God. What I had previously thought to be the truth about the universe was shattered and I stood there stunned, having had my world turned around so quickly.
I was happy because I had always hoped that God was real and that there was a future beyond the physical. As I stood in its presence, I perceived myself to be nothing but pure awareness and without a body. This sun of awareness fully merged with me, seeing everything inside of me. It saw everything I had ever done (and failed to do) both good and bad, and yet I did not sense or feel this Being was judging me or my past. There was no serial or motion-picture-like review of my life, just a sudden and full knowing about all things I have ever done, thought and experienced.
Because this sun of awareness/God was peering so fully and deeply into me, I felt totally naked, more naked than if I were standing without clothes in front of a million people. This Being seemed to be the consciousness of everyone I had ever known plus that of millions of others. It seemed to be everyone, but incredible as it might seem, most of all it seemed to be me.
Even though I had no awareness of having a body, this feeling of nakedness was more than I could stand. Before I had time to think about what I was doing, I began moving away from this Being as fast as I could. It wasn’t that I was afraid, nor that I wanted to get away from this wonderful sun of light, it was more like an automatic response to feeling more naked than I thought naked could be.As I was traveling away from this Being I found myself bursting through some kind of barrier into a blackness that was filled with wonderful stars; space. As I continued moving forward at a tremendous speed through the star fields, I soon found myself slowing down as if I was up against another barrier or membrane. It seemed to stretch slightly and then I burst through it into another blackness of star-filled space.
I continued to speed away faster and faster, but regardless of how much physical distance I traveled, I was never any farther away from the sun of awareness at all. I quickly traveled through several star-filled spaces, at least six of them beyond the great sphere of light, each separated from one another by barriers that I was easily penetrating. As I passed through each layer, my speed increased each time, but its consciousness was still with me. It was still deeply within my own consciousness.All of a sudden, I fell through the top of my bedroom ceiling, hit my body with a jolt and immediately woke up. The jolt was so strong that my bed physically bounced as my body jerked awake in response to the sudden stop. I opened my eyes and in a low toned voice immediately spoke the words; "I am that great I am." I said this almost involuntarily; the words spilled out of my mouth without even thinking about what or why I was saying it. I also knew what this meant: that I was the very consciousness that I was trying to get away from!
As much as I tried to get away from that Sun of Awareness, I could never get one fraction of an inch farther away from it, no matter how far or fast I traveled. Even after waking up, it was still with me. To this day, I still feel and know its presence. I believe that this Sun/Intelligence/God wasn't a single Being, but is the center of all beings, that it is me, you and perhaps all conscious beings.
From this experience I think that somewhere at the center of each of us is a spark of this same light, and without it we would not have consciousness, and perhaps without us it would not exist either. As I was flying away from this being, I had the impression that I was traveling through several layers within a sphere, but I was bursting through layers like the layers of an onion but between each layer was star-filled space. I can’t really tell you if I was traveling from the inside out, or the outside in, but as I traveled through them I had an impression that the farther I got from the sphere of light, the smaller I got and the more divided I became.
As I was returning I felt like I was not only traveling through spheres within spheres, but also as if I were traveling from the top of a pyramid down, the peak an all seeing eye of omnipresent consciousness, the blocks below all of the individuals which make the whole. While trying to move away I could both see and feel myself splitting into more and more diverse copies of myself, each branching off into many other branches of selves which also split into their own branches, dividing and dividing into ever larger numbers.
Because of this experience, I came to see everyone around me as myself. At the same time, I also see this as equally true from everyone elses perspective, that I am them too. They too can look around and only see other parts of themselves, other selves experiencing life from another point of view, separated by their physical bodies and world, by their individual minds and wills, but in reality they are one at their core.
These feelings and thoughts were so strong within me that I had trouble referring to other people at work as anything other than “I.” I had a tendency to think about others as just another part of myself. Just as I think about my hands as being a part of me, I would sometimes refer to others as “I” instead of the name of the person. For example, instead of saying, “He had finished working on that project” it came out as “I had finished working on that project.” I had to re-learn how to refer to others as separate from myself. After four years, I still think of others as myself, but now I can stop from verbalizing it.If I had the chance to do it over again and stand in the presence of this sun-intelligence-God, I wouldn't run away from it no matter how startling it is to be seen to such depth. I now hope that I would stand in its presence no matter how naked I felt. I don't believe that my motive for running was because I couldn’t stand to face the light, or that I felt like a bad person, but because I was so unaccustomed to being seen so fully, so suddenly, so clearly and to such depth. Unfortunately my flight away from it took place before I could think of what I was doing and why.
I believe that the words I spoke after the experience, "I am that great I am" meant that, although I am individual here, I am also a part of every other consciousness at the great central point of consciousness; God. I am now secure in the knowledge that this presence of consciousness has always been with me, and that I have never been alone and never will be alone. I now know that this presence is closer to me than anything else in the universe. I had been so accustomed to it that I didn’t know it was there, much like becoming used to a smell in a room, once you are there with it long enough, it begins to fade into the background. Like silence, it is always there, maybe in the background, behind and between the sounds, but always there. Like a quiet pure awareness, completely silent but ever present. To find it within listen to the silence and then try to find what is behind it, it's there as strong as your own silent awareness forever smiling at you.………
u are the best teacher, to explain the dark night of the dead and the soul rises
What is that song at the end of the video ? Just beautiful.
I wouldn't wish my awakening on my worst enemy…….which means there would be too much karma coming back……no , no , no.. I am still alone , since 1989..30 years.. and now i am ready to find mind like people…. i can not be around others….it is too hard.
Omg… me too no 7 and I am a rebel …Its resonates 100%…thank you so much.
Just wanted to thank you Christina. You're amazing! God bless you
Great tips, very informative. Thank you for sharing.
"If it weren't for meditation, I dunno where I'd be today" SAME lol possibly the single-most powerful habit I have incorporated into my life. I first meditated (willfully, knowingly, deliberately) about a year ago. Only self-improvement has come from this. I am Allan 2.0 now.And I am using the power of momentum to reach 3.0 in a fraction of the time
Wow, I wish I subscribed a long time ago. But, I am glad I am here now. Thank you.
Dear Christina,Until I came across your videos I never really knew what I have been going through. Thank you. I am going through my awakening for a year now. Thank you for sharing your story, I thought I am going crazy and have been very self-destructive. After hearing your share on spiritual awakening, I am less afraid now and am beginning to accept this journey. Thank you very very very much. Sending light, love, and care your way.
Your videos on spiritual awakenings are helping me get through this so much, Christina! I am so beyond grateful I recently stumbled upon your channel! Thank you for all that you do!!
i have been trying to awaken my spirits and its really hard…i spend a LOT of time alone on purpose because i really want to awaken my spirits or meet my spirit guide i hope i get there one day!
waw, now i understand that whenever i watch one of your videos there's something for me, i discovered numerology and got answers to my today's questions. and by the way, i am a number 7 too.
Hello, hello, oohh yes, thank you. This video has been of great help and answered many questions. Thank you. I feel at peace now,.
I’m happy to find your channel. A lot of others around me say I needed to connect with others along my journey or take their advice but I learned that when I did they were saying everything my heart didn’t want to hear. I’ve now isolated myself as I truck drive to save money to leave America. My awakening gained momentum a year ago, I was trying to stall it since 2015. I’ve been journaling, drawing and mediating has been tricky. I listen to mediation videos in my sleep and it has significantly quieted my mind.
As it happens, this is the side of me that I prefer to keep to myself. Thx. I have a clear view on this subject.
According to these, I woke up as a child. I use to question everything and ask myself even at 13, "There has to me more to life than this." I was diagnosed with OCD and Manic Depression as a kid. If only I had the proper influences and not raised in a traditional Catholic setting, I may have spared myself decades of torment. I'm still in the healing and hurt process of my journey. It's not easy at all. I've been dealing with it for 17 years. Thank you for your videos.
The soul is in charge baby.
Thank you much love ♥️
I mean I know we never stop learning,. But, can we talk about spiritual awakening as an only event or is it an endless process?
christina im having trouble with anixty and fear,
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